I just cant take it anymore. My son is 5 but not yet in Kindergarden because I know I would get called every day. He hits me, says he hates me, wont listen, wont mind, throws things at me. I try to play with him when I can but I have a newborn so I'm busy all the time. My husband is at work all day, but helps out when he gets home. Time outs is what usually starts the violence. I try charts, rewards, special time with me, but its hopeless. He is so abusive to me, but noone has ever abused him. I cant go visit friends because noone else likes him either. I hate myself so much. What kind of a mother am I? I sometimes wish it were just me and my husband and the baby. I cant stop crying. I've had him evaluated and they say he is just a little bit ADHD, but medication made him 10 times worse. I cant go to a different Dr. Because the Oregon health plan only lets you see a specialist twice and he is the only one on the list anyway. They dont care about kids, trust me. I just cant take it anymore
He needs to be around other children to learn social cues. If it has only been with you and now a new baby-there is no one else his age that he can learn from. Children are very receptive to what other people are feeling and body language, so if your thinking 'I don't like my son' and he picks up on it - its no wonder why he's picking on you, hitting biting screaming not listening etc. Not sending him to school is just setting him up for failure in the future and potentially harder to overcome problems. He needs to be in school (despite the fact that there will be an adjust period and maybe frequent phone calls). Being in school can identify if he requires early childhood intervention which only means more help for you and your family.
There are many meds to try. I'm sure the doctor hasn't tried all of them. It can take time sometimes to get on the right medication and the right dose. You maybe should have let him start school. They can help with diagnosing and getting meds for our kids. Yes I been there and done that with my son and now doing it with my grandson.
I hope you can get him the help he needs, for the both of you.