Mom to Mom

shoud my lo see my ex?
December 4, 2012 at 11:46 AM

Okay, so i'm a 24 y/o single mom to a beautiful little boy who is almost three. he has and sadly never probably never will meet his biological father.

I started dating someone this April, and sadly only waited two months to let him meet my son (really wishing i'd waited longer now). We broke up last week, it was my call. He was very grumpy and controlling and I'm applying to get into our college's nursing program this January. I have a lot on my plate and I could not handle my ex's demands or demeanor.

However, when I told my lo that he would not be seeing my ex anymore he started to cry profusely and has since refused to go potty. (we were making great progress).

My ex had at first said he wasn't willing to visit my son unless i would date him again, but now he says he would be willing to see him. I've already caused so much damage and confusion for my son, would bringing this guy back into his life only make it worse? or would it be less traumatic to phase my ex out of his life slowly instead of so suddenly?


  • goddess99
    December 4, 2012 at 1:19 PM

    That is a tough one. I wouldn't do it though, it will only confuse him and hurt more later.

  • Mama_Gillogley
    December 4, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    that's sorta how i feel, like i've already done the damage and bringing my ex BACK into his life will only make things more confusing and painful :(

  • goddess99
    December 4, 2012 at 2:02 PM

    Yep I wouldn't do it.

  • Pammi86
    by Pammi86
    December 4, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    I would cut you loses bc bringing him back in will only be harder on your son the next time he is gone for good.

  • Mama_Gillogley
    December 4, 2012 at 4:29 PM

    thanks ladies :) it helps to know i'm making the right choice, my lo was asking this morning several times where my ex was and i just keep telling him that he "went bye-bye". I don't really know how else to explain this to an almost 3 year old.

    My ex thankfully only came over on the weekends, I can't imagine what this would be like if we'd been living together or seeing each other more often. Hoping that this gets better soon, poor kiddo. No more dating for me, that's for darn sure. Not until I can afford a sitter.

  • DazeDelights
    December 4, 2012 at 5:18 PM
    No because then the ex will feel like he has you over a barrel..if you don't do xxx then I'm not gonna see your son. Kids are resilient he will get over him and no need to confuse him.
  • MistressMinerva
    December 4, 2012 at 6:02 PM

    I wouldn't do it.

  • edelweiss23
    December 4, 2012 at 6:03 PM
    I wouldn't do it!
  • splatz
    by splatz
    December 4, 2012 at 7:54 PM
    I wouldn't. Especially with how you are describing your ex...
  • Mama_Gillogley
    December 5, 2012 at 11:59 PM

    Yes, I feel like I've made the right decision. I told my ex yesterday that enough damage had been done and I was not going to put my son through anything else and prolong his misery. That and I just really have no desire to see him anymore, I'm enjoying my time with my son and my freedom to spend more time preparing for nursing school.

    Quoting splatz:

    I wouldn't. Especially with how you are describing your ex...

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