Mom to Mom

16 year old brother in law playing daddy! (HELP!!!!!)
November 27, 2012 at 8:00 AM

in loveHi ladies!! my name is alexis and im new here, i have two kids. A little boy (2) named Hayden and a baby girl (5 months) named Olivia. Here is my problem. My brother in law is dating a girl who has a 6 month old baby. the back story was that when we found out she was pregnant she made us believe that the baby was brandon's. Now she did say that it may be someone else's but for the most part she believed it was his.  Well the baby was born and to be sure we did a paternity test. the baby turned out not to be his. By this time my mother in law had already gotten attached to the baby. She decided that we should all just pretend the baby was my brother in law's. a bunch of people in my husband's family was against this whole thing. They believed that my brother in law was too young to be involved with a girl with a baby, not to mention that he had flunked ninth grade twice and that if he didnt get his act together this year he was going to be sent to alternative school. Of course my mother in law ignored this and is totally content on her son playing daddy. another incident is his girlfriend thinks that he may be cheating on her. she found some texts on his phone to another girl. he told her that is wasnt that way, but come on ladies! its high school! i want to talk to my father in law about this whole situation. I feel like my brother in law is getting a little tired of this whole thing and wants to be a normal teenager but he is afraid of hurting his mother, and of course he is worried about what may happen to the baby if they break up. What do you ladies think? Should he be helping this girl take care of her baby at such a young age? do you think this other girl is just a friend? give me your opinion and if any of you ladies have had experience with this type of situation or had a situation similar to it what did you do?toddler boybaby girl


  • gacgbaker
    November 27, 2012 at 8:08 AM

    Sounds like a tough situation.  I'm not sure what the right thing to do would be- has the family gotten any counseling for the situation?  I would seek some counseling out at a church or other organization that offers it and see if they can work things out- it sounds like a lot of feelings are being hidden that need to be talked about.  

  • alexisbyrd26
    November 27, 2012 at 8:14 AM

    Counseling is a no go. my husband's family are very private so they like to keep their issues with each other among themselves. It wouldnt be such a problem if they would all sit down and talk about it amongst each other. but mother in law just refuses to see the problem with this picture.

  • Janet
    by Janet
    November 27, 2012 at 8:32 AM

     It doesn't sound like he is ready to be a daddy. He shouldn't be if the child isn't his. He can be her friend but not the babies daddy because he isn't. I don't expect those two to be together long from what all you are saying.

  • SlapItHigh
    November 27, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    Welcome!  Sounds like a lot of drama.  I don't know enough about the situation to say.

  • MistressMinerva
    November 27, 2012 at 11:02 AM

    Welcome to the group. Sounds like he has got himself in a situation. He is a teenager and if it's not his baby then he shouldn't be helping her. He should just be a teenager and that's it.

  • schatzi869
    November 27, 2012 at 11:04 AM
    I think you should just stay out of it.
  • KRIZZ25
    by KRIZZ25
    November 27, 2012 at 11:09 AM
  • Pammi86
    by Pammi86
    November 27, 2012 at 11:10 AM
    I would encourage counseling.
  • ashleighmama
    November 27, 2012 at 11:50 AM
    Im sorry but your mother in law is nuts! This is so not her decision. If she wants another baby, thats her problem. She should so not be turning her teenage son into this babys daddy just cuz she loves this baby. Who the fuck does this kind of shit tn their own kid?!
  • lilsis65
    November 27, 2012 at 12:44 PM

    I am sorry your family is going threw this. I would set down with the young man and just ask him alone how he feels. and ask the question do you know who the bio-dad is. This baby has the right and for medical records needs to know.  He should not be straped down at such a young age when its not even his.

    Bless you.

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