Mom to Mom

Frustrated w/ In-Laws...
November 24, 2012 at 9:20 PM
Please let me know what I can do to fix this situation I am in. I am completely frustrated w/ my in-laws. Mainly, my mother-in-law. It seems I am having to clean the entire house after them each day. (They don't exactly wash dishes nicely anymore, the entire kitchen counters become drying racks, they wash PAPER plates, Plastic cups, plastic utensils, etc.) and I already have to cook and clean up/take care of my three kids (12, 10, and 8 yrs. old) and also my 3 1/2 month old baby. I have absolutely no time to do anything for myself and am feeling so utterly depressed now. I've been unable to lose weight from this pregnancy and i'm always tired/exhausted. My husband is working but only part time due to medi-cal cutting off our health benefits if he makes anymore money. He has alot of health issues since he is a type 1 diabetic and I have been taking care of him as well after his eye surgery he just had on wednesday. But anyway I don't know what to do about his parents and their chronic hoarding of trash, and the mess they love to keep (which is teaching my children how to be messy) :*[ What can I do? Any arvice would be greatly thanks.


  • Cher53
    by Cher53
    November 24, 2012 at 9:26 PM

    God hun I really don't know what to tell you, but maybe you can make kind of a game out of this like. Ok Mom paper and plastic go in these bags so we don't have so much trash and we will be helping to clean up the planet. Try it can' hurt..stay in touch....Cher53

  • DazeDelights
    November 24, 2012 at 9:56 PM
    I have no idea then just letting them know it's unexceptable. Why are they living with you? If they are helping pay the bills there isn't much you can do if you can't make it in your own. As far as the kids let them know that's not they way to be
  • martha95386
    November 25, 2012 at 1:31 AM
    Will, you need to talk to your husband, Let him know how you feel. Utterly depress and you need his suport. Team players .
  • adress
    by adress
    November 25, 2012 at 9:12 AM
  • delanna6two
    November 25, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    Hope you can get things worked out...

  • goddess99
    November 25, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    I would have my dh tell them to leave. If he didn't, I would.

  • SlapItHigh
    November 26, 2012 at 1:13 AM

    Talk to them frankly, let them know what you expect, ask for their help and put up boundaries.  Hope things get better soon!

  • Pammi86
    by Pammi86
    November 26, 2012 at 10:31 AM

    Well for starters, do you live with them or vice versa? If its their house then they have the on up here. Its not fair but it really puts you in a bad place to say something. But if its the other way speak up! Tell them what you told us! Your tired and you need help and as adults they have to act like it. They might not like it and you need to apprach it carefully but at some point it needs to be said.

  • chattycassie
    November 26, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    Why are they there? Do they live with you?

  • Knightquester
    November 26, 2012 at 12:44 PM

    Are they visiting or do you live with them and if so is the place theirs or yours?  This makes a big difference in how you can deal with them because if it's theirs then you're SOL, you can attempt to talk to them and get some kind of cleaning schedule going but if they own the place they could very well refuse.

    If the place is yours and they're staying with you or visiting then ask them to clean up or get out.  I am a very blunt and down to the point person and so that's how I'd put it.  If you're more fluffy and not so 'to the point' then you could always put it nicer by stating that you're tired and have a lot on your plate and you may have bit off more than you guys can handle accepting house guest or adding more people to live in your home.  Then go from there by suggesting a time frame when they can leave.

    You've got a lot of people in your home, all three of your older children can clean just about anything in the home you can... all of my children who are 12, 11, 10 and 8 can.  Your in-laws should be helping out or not be around.  It's hard enough to run a house, care for an injured loved one, get over just having a baby and then have to clean up after a house full of people that can very well clean up after themselves.

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