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AYISHA1022
how do you tell a friend you let stay with you , tell them they have to move out
November 23, 2012 at 10:15 PM

How do you break it down to a so called friend that you tried to help out by staying in your home knowing that you have to constantly tell them things they should know because they are grown, the sad part is that she has two children but she has done so much in my apartment that has disrespected my home I'm going to have no choice but to let her go. She has a job and she could have been left but I don't know what is the hold up. I am very outspoken and sometimes what I say can come out wrong because it is very frustrating knowing I have two of my own and I have another on the way, she takes me for granted because I am nice but I lashed out already at her and I feel the next time its not going to be to pretty.

   "How can I put it without sounding snotty towards her "

Replies

  • DixieFlower
    November 23, 2012 at 10:38 PM

    I would just simply tell her that she has disprespected your home and that you want her to move out within X days.

  • AYISHA1022
    November 23, 2012 at 10:54 PM

    she is not giving funds on time and its causing too much unneeded stress in my home where my children should be getting things but its being put on bills when before they moved in me and my boyfriend didmn't have to worry about so much on bills

  • DazeDelights
    November 23, 2012 at 11:04 PM
    Tell her she is costing more then she is contributing. If you are as outspoken as you claim to be then there shouldn't be a problem telling her how you feel. If she can/ could afford to move out then she is using you and is not your friend. If that's the case I wouldn't mince words but I don't care how a person takes what I say either.
  • AYISHA1022
    November 23, 2012 at 11:14 PM

    I understand exactly what you mean I am the same way I've always had that attitude only when someone trys to take advantage other then that I'm cool. right now my attitude is wishy washy with her and I decided to give her this last time to pay what she owes and if not then thirty days it is.

  • DazeDelights
    November 23, 2012 at 11:16 PM
    I understand but why cause yourself extra stress? My kids will suffer for no one! Least of all someone who has no relation. Tell her her time has come to move on and you need to concentrate on your family and let the chips fall where they may.
  • DazeDelights
    November 23, 2012 at 11:18 PM
    Ugh! She will be there until the first of the year.
  • AYISHA1022
    November 23, 2012 at 11:34 PM

    I feel like this if she is using me she will catch it in the end , God always have my back what goes around comes right back around. I will be fine

  • Alwaysmotivated
    November 24, 2012 at 5:31 AM

     Hello Ayisha,

    I am a firm believer you can tell anybody anything, its how they receive it and perceive it.. Its not what you say, its how you say it and its not what you do but how you do it.. Just plain and simple, the truth..according to the circumstance and arrangement between you both, if she is a good friend, she shouldn't have a problem with it, you were helping her out..Hope it all works out for you nicely..fingers crossed

  • rosie211
    November 24, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    I would just try to be honest with her, letting her know that you feel it is time for her to be on her own now. I would try to put it as gently as possible, but yes, this could damage your friendship. If she is truly your friend and you talk with her openly about how you feel, she will understand that this is what is best for everyone involved. I wish I had more advice for you but this is a bit of a sticky situation. I agree though, you have to stand up for you and your family and do what is ultimately best for you all.

  • natoyas
    by natoyas
    November 24, 2012 at 3:33 PM

    im sorry to say but you already know how to handle this,and know what the outcome will be ....i been in the same spot except im on my second child and my daughter was one back then. if anything before you blow your lid off on her ..have that woman to woman talk and if that dont work .then to hell with it  .a friend to began with gonna respect u and ur home  ....i dont get why people do that anyway  when you help them out

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