Featured Posts
katykatybobaty
At a loss...
November 21, 2012 at 11:40 PM

Hi, ladies. I need a place to vent for a moment. I am 21 and my brother is almost 23. He has never had a job, had his own apartment or basically done ANYTHING for himself. He has been moving around from family member to family member since he graduated high school, and he stays with them until they get fed up and kick him out. Seriously, he burns bridges. With the exception of our father, every person he has lived with has cut off contact with him. Well, my major problem is a really big one. I know it sounds cocky, but he has always tried to "best" me. So of course, after I told him I was pregnant, he found a new girlfriend and before we knew it, she was pregnant. They started dating when I was just a few months into my pregnancy, and now she's due in March. They live in her cousin's house and neither of them have a job. My brother is hard-of-hearing, so he gets financial assistance from the state, but still. It's only like $600/month for 3 people?! My boyfriend and I offered to move them up to the city to an apt complex well within their budget, and we even offered to pay their first month's rent, but they refused to take it because they were too lazy to mail us the applications. I don't know what to do. I don't understand how they could have thought it was a good idea to do this. It wasn't even accidental, they were TRYING to get pregnant knowing their situation! I'm so worried for their baby. Everybody keeps telling me that my brother will step up after he sees the baby, but I'm not sure he will. I'm trying so hard to have faith, but nothing he has ever done shows me that he's ready for this commitment! they keep expecting everybody to handle things for them, i.e, buy a carseat, buy their diapers, etc, but I can't afford that either, since I just had my baby in Sept.

I guess there isn't much I really can do, since she's already pregnant. It's not like they are just discussing it and I can convince them not to even try. *SIGH*. Has anybody else had to deal with a situation like this?

Replies

  • ZakkarysMom
    November 21, 2012 at 11:48 PM
    I havent but thats sad. The baby is going to be stuck in the middle of all that. Is it really that theyre lazy or could it be something else? These days alot of people have depression.
  • almostthere55
    November 22, 2012 at 7:10 AM

    Sounds so sad.  Sorry you are going through this.  But it sounds like you have offered and he is too lazy to do anything about it.  I too feel for the baby, but all you can do is hope that he does step up when the baby is born.  Fortunately the gov't. will take care of that baby.  That is, if he fills out those forms...  good luck and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!

  • bamababe1975
    November 22, 2012 at 1:05 PM

     I agree. Hopefully he will step up and grow up, but you can't make him. ((HUGS))

    Quoting almostthere55:

    Sounds so sad.  Sorry you are going through this.  But it sounds like you have offered and he is too lazy to do anything about it.  I too feel for the baby, but all you can do is hope that he does step up when the baby is born.  Fortunately the gov't. will take care of that baby.  That is, if he fills out those forms...  good luck and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!

     

  • MichelleMc
    November 22, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    Sadly as long as everyone continues to baby them & take care of them, they won't grow up. The gov't will take care of the baby & they will get more money & food for that then. It is sad that it happens that way, as it sounds like they could do much more :(

  • Janet
    by Janet
    November 22, 2012 at 2:44 PM

     Your brother is young. It looks like he will have to learn the hard way.

  • goddess99
    November 22, 2012 at 8:24 PM

    How sad, instead of stepping up sounds like he's going to step out. After that if he doesn't work he'll be living in jail for not paying support. He's about to learn a real lesson and there is nothing you can do or should do.

  • cookinmommyof1
    November 22, 2012 at 11:37 PM
    It sounds similar to my bil. He jumps from crummy job to crummy job. He started dating a girl with 4 kids (3 she has, 1 is with the father who has been married for 6yrs or so and the kid is 1yo). Since they got together he has had 3 or 4 diff jobs. He had to sell a bunch of his stuff to make rent and quit paying his phone bill (he is on our family share plan, and his phone has been shut off). He said he didn't understand why he should have to pay for it. He thinks that people/family/society owes him something. He has entitlement issues, and no way to financially support 5 people (even himself, really). And I don't understand how they're always broke: they live in subsidized housing, she gets adc, food stamps, wic, medicaid, works, doesn't pay child care... she's an idiot, and he is being one too. We have cut him off. He is no longer welcome here.

    Its probably best to not help him anymore. It sounds aweful, and im sure you wont feel great about it (I feel terrible about shutting off bils phone/modem) but you shouldn't have to worry about supporting him. Its too bad the baby will be the one in the middle. I hope everything works out
  • DazeDelights
    November 23, 2012 at 11:36 AM
    This may sound harsh but that is not your problem. You have your own family to provide for so he will have to do the same. It's not fair to you or your family that he expects things to be handed to him. If they don't step up then the state will step in and we all know how that may end.
  • MistressMinerva
    November 23, 2012 at 4:11 PM


    Quoting DazeDelights:

    This may sound harsh but that is not your problem. You have your own family to provide for so he will have to do the same. It's not fair to you or your family that he expects things to be handed to him. If they don't step up then the state will step in and we all know how that may end.


  • DixieFlower
    November 23, 2012 at 9:36 PM

    I agree. It will be hard to view it this way but it's really best for both of you.

    Quoting DazeDelights:

    This may sound harsh but that is not your problem. You have your own family to provide for so he will have to do the same. It's not fair to you or your family that he expects things to be handed to him. If they don't step up then the state will step in and we all know how that may end.


Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN