really need some advice about my bil **UPDATE**

[cookinmommyof1]

He is in a toxic relationship and he doesn't realize it. He doesn't see it. He has been with a girl for about 5 months now and she is changing him for the worse. I respect his feelings for her and her kids, but this isn't going to end well. He has had 3 different jobs since ngetting with her and we have paid his phone bill 3 times since they got together (4 if you count the one we are going to end up paying this month), and he doesn't care. He is on our cell plan and has his phone and mobile broadband usb modem. The billing cycle ends today and he gets a monthly allowance of 5gb on the modem. Just since this morning he has used 6.5gb OVER his monthly allowance. That adds $70 to the bill, that he probably wont pay for. Its like he thinks that if he ignores the bill and refuses to acknowledge it, that it doesn't exist. It does for us. The bill is in MY name. He is fucking us over more than I think he realizes it. Dh doesn't want to text him because his gf will hijack his phone like she always does and answer it, or see it before him and reply to dh from her phone. Dh tried calling him, and he didn't answer. I looked at facebook, and he is online, incurring more overage charges that he doesn't care that we nhave to pay for. We barely scrape by as it is, and we will be a family of 4 in july. I found out we are expecting number 2 a couple days ago, and haven't told dh yet, because of this bullshit with his brother. I know he will be happy since we've been trying for 6 months or so, but I don't want to add to the stress he is under. I tried suspending service on bils 2 lines, but until the account is current (this months bill is paid, which after other bil paid his bill on time today is $294 because of the first bil), and its going to be a couple weeks before its paid. So were still going to have an outrageous bill by the time it gets shut off. I feel terrible. Dh said bil and his gf/kids aren't welcome here anymore. They have burned a very helpful and supportive bridge. If bil didn't live 90mins away we would just go there and get the phone. I texted bil last night to see if he would be ontime (at least somewhat) with his bill this month and he says "I just paid $100 on it. I fail to see why I still owe this month". I told him that what he just paid was for the bill that was due in october, and he still has to pay novembers bill. Then he brings up how he borrowed dh $400 like a year and a half ago. I told him a couple months ago (the last time he couldn't/wouldn't pay his bill) that since we paid his phone bill 3 times since may (an average of $130 each time) and dh put $150 into his bank account, that it was more than paid back. When I retold him that he gets all text message pissy pants with me and says he will drop off the phone/modem this weekend since he is sick of paying for it and sick of me hounding him to pay it. Then a couple minutes later he textx again and says he will mail it since he shouldnt have to waste gas on this bullshit either.
how does he nit see what he is doing? How does it not occure to him that he is hurting his family?

**UPDATE**
I was able to get his phone shut off yesterday with the mobile verizon app. I talked to cust srvc this morning and got his modem shut off.
And I told dh that im pregnant. He is thrilled. I told him I was a little nervous of telling him and adding stress to the bil situation. he says he is happy our family is growing, and his brother has nothing to do with "our" happiness. It really was a load off. Lol

[SlapItHigh]

Time to cut his phone off.

[cookinmommyof1]

As soon as the bill is paid, which will probably be a couple weeks before we can afford it, it will be shut off.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

Time to cut his phone off.

[goddess99]

I would completely cut him off from everything. Congrats on the baby =)

[grneyedormom]

Congrats!

As for the cell phone, if you haven't already, call your cell provider and explain the situation again. Ask to speak to a supervisor if you keep getting the same script from the CSR's. Tell them you will not be able to get current if this doesn't happen.The downfall with having a smart-phone is that most provider's require you to carry a data plan in order to have the phone. I have Verizon and can call and make changes to my plan at any given time, it won't affect the current bill but sure makes the next bill manageable.

Good luck!

[Janet]

 Also he is being selfish right now!

[cookinmommyof1]

I have verizon also. I already changed the plan to a lower minute one, saving us $20 for the next bill. Well, actually, with bil using 7 extra gigs of data, it doesn't save us a fucking thing. It totally blows my mind how selfish and uncaring he is being. We have always been there for him. I talked to a supervisor and got the same "can't suspend service til account is current" run around.

Quoting grneyedormom:

Congrats!



As for the cell phone, if you haven't already, call your cell provider and explain the situation again. Ask to speak to a supervisor if you keep getting the same script from the CSR's. Tell them you will not be able to get current if this doesn't happen.The downfall with having a smart-phone is that most provider's require you to carry a data plan in order to have the phone. I have Verizon and can call and make changes to my plan at any given time, it won't affect the current bill but sure makes the next bill manageable.

Good luck!

[signingmama2915]

I would just turn service off of phone and modem.

Congrats on baby. You should tell dh

[MistressMinerva]

When your able to shut the phone off do so.

[Pammi86]

I would tell him how you feel and get rid of the phone.

[cookinmommyof1]

Dh would love to tell him what an ass he's being and how he is screwing over his family, but the little fucker wont answer his phone. Dh has been trying to call him nfor 2 days. We know he's around and can answer it because I've seen him on facebook. Both regular online, and mobile. This is bullshit. I think he knows how pissed dh is and doesn't want to hear about it. I get that times are tough and he has had a string of shit jobs, is going to school, and is tying to raise someone elses shit ass little monsters (and their super moron bitch of a mother), but shit sucks for everyone

Quoting Pammi86:

I would tell him how you feel and get rid of the phone.