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joyfulmom03
How involved is your husband/is he a good father?
November 13, 2012 at 8:34 PM

Hi everyone!

I would like to know from all you moms out there how good of a father your husband is to your children? How involved is he? How much time does he spend with them and what types of activities does he do with them? Also, does he work full-time and if he does, does he still spend most of his free time with the kids in the weekends? If you have a baby, is he natural at taking care of him/her? Does he do anything in the household or is that 'your task'? I know these are alot of questions but I really would love some answers. I'm in a situation where I feel like my husband just doesn't put in enough time and effort with our 3 yr old and our 10 month old twins. He lets me do everything, I have to ask for his help all the time and he doesn't naturally play with them or spend alot of time with them. He's disrespectful in ways of leaving clothes on the floor, doesn't put his shit away, never helps me with dishes and I'm just sick of it, tired. Like having a fourth child. I'm trying to put things in perspective and would love some input!

Thank you!

Replies

  • goddess99
    November 13, 2012 at 8:47 PM

    My hubby is my daughter's stepdad, he works full time, I'm a SAHM and my dd is gone most weekends. My dh goes to all school/teacher functions. He helps out at home doing housework, cooks, helps with homework and all school projects. We do go on family trips together and I would love to say he does all sorts of things with her but she's barely here and she's 10 so when she is home, she's in her room listening to music, playing video games, and whatnot. I do consider him a great husband and wonderful father.

  • signingmama2915
    November 13, 2012 at 9:27 PM

    bump. not enough time for me to answer right now

  • zoolife18
    November 13, 2012 at 10:04 PM

    Im sorry to hear about your frustration, there seems to be a lot of husbands/partners that have a similiar perspective as your husband. I feel im quite lucky, my husband gets up with our son during the night and gets him dressed and fed in the morning before he leaves for work. he also joins us for lunch everyday and is more then willing to help prep or even just make us something. when he gets home he tends to take the lead on dinner making and doing the dishes and then processeds to play and entertain our 17 month old son. my husband operates his own business so his hours are somewhat flexible. We also live in a suite above his work place which has given us a lot of great dual parenting opprotunities. my husband got to be there for all the little things and the hard stuff (illnesses etc).  im gonna look like the luckiest women alive with this list lol i nearly am. When we made the desicion to have a child i made it clear i had no intention of doing this all by myself and thankfully my husband has felt the same way for the most part. We are now expecting our second and are hoping to move us out of his work place so ill be on my own a lot more with double the workload though im sure my husband will still be very involved. To answer one of your questions above, no my hisband isnt that natural when taking care of our son, he was raised as an only child and so looking after someone else hasnt come naturally but he tries very hard.

  • mysons_r_mylife
    November 13, 2012 at 10:26 PM
    My husband is a great, great dad. Things are tough financially now. He's been unemployed so we decided that I go to work and be stays at home with our 3yr old and 4 month old baby. He takes our 5 yr old to school too. He's an amazing dad!!
  • jthompson1976
    November 13, 2012 at 10:40 PM

    my husband is a wonder full father

  • auntangelofsix
    November 13, 2012 at 11:24 PM

    my hubby work full time. I'm a SAHM too..he does help with the house work,we spend time as a family too we do most things together..i take care of the baby's bath's and diaper's change since ds1 pee on hubby n he said no more..

  • georgeisfun
    November 14, 2012 at 12:12 AM

    My husband works one full time and one part time job. He spends time with our daughter daily and tries to spend time with our nephews daily as well. He changes diapers every once in awhile, cooks a couple times a month, takes them to the park, plays games, whatever strikes him. He a VERY good father and uncle. He's also working on remodeling our house all on his own and has been known to help me with chores on occasion - mostly on the evenings when he's "given" me the night off from the kids to go out with my sister.

    I'm sorry you're having a rough time with your husband. Every relationship is different. Have you tried telling him how it makes you feel when he leaves his clothes on the floor or won't help you out with the kids or house? Have you ever heard of the book The Five Love Languages? It helped us immensely, as did counseling. I don't think it's really fair to compare one's husband to an other's, but I do understand your frustration. My husband's favorite place to leave his clothes is the dining room, which drives me nuts and used to be a huge issue between us.

  • jett286
    by jett286
    November 14, 2012 at 1:50 AM

    My husband was a total hands on dad!  He would come home from work and wrestle with the boys as his wind-down time every night.  They were the light of his life...(and still are ) he would take them fishing, camping, bike riding and they have great memories of going to the 'bear' park...where they would walk through the big trees looking for bears and the pinecones were bear poop.  He always did dishes, would help with the laundry and send me away for weekends...  He's not perfect but he is a great dad.  He is now disabled and cannot do the activites he'd like to but he is totally engaged with them (16 & 18)...having lots of great conversations and being involved in their lives....He would always be insulted when his friends would ask him if he was "babysitting" when he was with the boys...NO I AM THEIR FATHER.. I"m spending time with my kids....  We have to pick up the slack for him now since his muscular disease has him practically completely disabled...and he's a bit anal being an engineer...so he's not perfect but we love him....He can be a real ass sometimes...when the kids don't do things the way HE wants them done..Just so you know he's a great dad, but not a perfect human....like all of us..

  • Sammi20
    by Sammi20
    November 14, 2012 at 1:59 AM

    Does he go to work and make the payments on the house/apartment? When you ask him for help or Tell him he has to help Does he do it? Those are two Very big factors! My husband works Full tome 45+ hours a week and watches our daughter in the morning to let me sleep an extra hour or 2... But if I am awake its All me until I tell him YOU go do it this time! I cook clean and pick up after Both of them every day. He pays the rent and utilities everything since I am a sahm. He is good with her but there are times where he just wants to be completely absent. He never takes her out alone I am there if we go to the park or shopping. I guess it is 80% me 20% him He is a great father though :) But he is the bread winner I am the caretaker of the household.

  • Bethy16
    by Bethy16
    November 14, 2012 at 2:40 AM
    My husband is a great father but it didn't come.naturally for him. He works full time and I am a sahm. I do take that into consideration. Is it 50-50 no and it shouldn't be since I am home with them all the time. But that being said he picks them up from their various activities. He does the laundry helps me clean up the kitchen after dinner. Basically will do whatever I ask him to do. He does most of the big housework like the pool the yard fixing things around the house. He does the weekly shopping at BJs. He goes to all of their games and practices. Is he perfect no does it work for us, yup!
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