ARMYWife624
Broken promises
October 9, 2012 at 4:03 PM
So 2 days ago my dh cooked dinner. Delicous!! But then i asked him if he would mind cleaning up (before some of u start ranting, i cook and clean all the time). I had a 13 hr shift to work monday and didnt feel like staying up late to clean up. He said, "dont worry, I'll clean it tomorrow." I say, "everytime you say that, u never follow through." So he says, " i know but this time i promise i will." I get home last night, about 10:45, i walk in and the kitchen is still a wreck. I stood there for a brief moment and decided i wouldn't get mad this time cuz i didnt want to ruin the good day i had. I didn't kiss him like usual. I simply said, " you promised to do something and you didn't. Im taking a shower now." I showered, then i went to the kitchen and proceeded to clean it. Now i assumed he'd be like," babe, let me do it." Well no, that didnt happen. He started talking about FOOTBALL!!!! i was soooooo angry. Why say you're gonna do something and not do it. If he had no intention of doing it, he shouldn't have promised. Its rare that i ask for help around the house although i wish he would help. So for him to promise me and then break that promise, its like a stab in my back. Anybody else have these issues??

Replies

  • ARMYWife624
    October 9, 2012 at 11:36 PM
    Sounds good except i have 3 kids. I dont need my husband being treated like a child too lol. I reward him with certain explicit things but still to no success


    Quoting LadyBugMom09:

    Why don't you give him a "reward" the next time he actually does something. Even if it's something small. ;)




    Quoting ARMYWife624:

    Haha quite possibly!!! When we first got our house he was a champ. Not so much now. :-/ the only reason the house is clean is cuz i do it but it is stressful because I have school, work, kids, and him. He doesn't understand how 1 time of cleaning the dishes would make a huge difference in my attitude.






    Quoting LadyBugMom09:

    Yes, that exact same issue. Are we married to the same man???? He's gotten better over the years from my nagging, but I hate nagging. :/



  • unsuspected
    October 9, 2012 at 11:37 PM
    Maybe you shouldnt have cleaned it? Or cleaned with him the day he made the mess.
  • afwifeandmommy3
    October 9, 2012 at 11:40 PM
    Story of my life
  • ARMYWife624
    October 10, 2012 at 12:29 AM
    Except he made the mess at 10:00 something pm. I had to leave the house by 7:45 am. I wasnt staying up to clean since i had to work 13 hrs. I dont mind cleaning but i do mind him saying hes gonna do something and then not do it. And not cleaning would have got me no where. It would just sit there until i did clean it. :-/


    Quoting unsuspected:

    Maybe you shouldnt have cleaned it? Or cleaned with him the day he made the mess.

  • OliviasMommy611
    October 10, 2012 at 10:49 AM
    I think you're crazy overreacting. He cooked why should he clean? Idk I don't let silly things bother me. I'd rather take 20 mins clean it and than relax and be happy. Life's too short!!
  • WonderWomanSV
    October 10, 2012 at 11:21 AM

     What is with men and not caring if the kitchen is clean?! I swear he will clean the whole house and leave the kitchen for me.....

  • ARMYWife624
    October 10, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    Ummm...maybe you didn't read the post completly but i clearly stated that I cook AND clean ALL the time. I NEVER ask for anything from him. Mind you I am a fulltime student, employee, wife and mom. Doing dishes one time won't kill him. He works 4 days a week. yes his job is taxing on his body but HE can take 20 minutes out of HIS day off to clean. That's fine that you think he shouldn't clean after he cooked, if thats the way it is in your home, thats fine. The issue is he PROMISED to do something and didn't do it. This is a big deal for me. I had a 13 hour shift to work only to come home to a dirty kitchen that my dh PROMISED to clean. See my point? I clean up every day, do his laundry, cook him dinner, get the kids to school, do my own school, go to work and then in the evening we spend an hour or 2 with each other. 1 time won't kill him. It isn't silly if you have a busy schedule like myself. But thanks for the advice.

    Quoting OliviasMommy611:

    I think you're crazy overreacting. He cooked why should he clean? Idk I don't let silly things bother me. I'd rather take 20 mins clean it and than relax and be happy. Life's too short!!


  • OliviasMommy611
    October 10, 2012 at 12:48 PM
    I read your whole post. I just have a different perspective. Calm down. Gsh

    Quoting ARMYWife624:

    Ummm...maybe you didn't read the post completly but i clearly stated that I cook AND clean ALL the time. I NEVER ask for anything from him. Mind you I am a fulltime student, employee, wife and mom. Doing dishes one time won't kill him. He works 4 days a week. yes his job is taxing on his body but HE can take 20 minutes out of HIS day off to clean. That's fine that you think he shouldn't clean after he cooked, if thats the way it is in your home, thats fine. The issue is he PROMISED to do something and didn't do it. This is a big deal for me. I had a 13 hour shift to work only to come home to a dirty kitchen that my dh PROMISED to clean. See my point? I clean up every day, do his laundry, cook him dinner, get the kids to school, do my own school, go to work and then in the evening we spend an hour or 2 with each other. 1 time won't kill him. It isn't silly if you have a busy schedule like myself. But thanks for the advice.


    Quoting OliviasMommy611:

    I think you're crazy overreacting. He cooked why should he clean? Idk I don't let silly things bother me. I'd rather take 20 mins clean it and than relax and be happy. Life's too short!!


  • ARMYWife624
    October 10, 2012 at 1:24 PM

     i don't mind you having a different persepective, I just wanted to make sure you were clear of the entire situation. I normally don't mind cleaning up but I needed to get some rest before my long shift. I came off as rude but I don't mean to. just a habit.

    Quoting ARMYWife624:

    Ummm...maybe you didn't read the post completly but i clearly stated that I cook AND clean ALL the time. I NEVER ask for anything from him. Mind you I am a fulltime student, employee, wife and mom. Doing dishes one time won't kill him. He works 4 days a week. yes his job is taxing on his body but HE can take 20 minutes out of HIS day off to clean. That's fine that you think he shouldn't clean after he cooked, if thats the way it is in your home, thats fine. The issue is he PROMISED to do something and didn't do it. This is a big deal for me. I had a 13 hour shift to work only to come home to a dirty kitchen that my dh PROMISED to clean. See my point? I clean up every day, do his laundry, cook him dinner, get the kids to school, do my own school, go to work and then in the evening we spend an hour or 2 with each other. 1 time won't kill him. It isn't silly if you have a busy schedule like myself. But thanks for the advice.

    Quoting OliviasMommy611:

    I think you're crazy overreacting. He cooked why should he clean? Idk I don't let silly things bother me. I'd rather take 20 mins clean it and than relax and be happy. Life's too short!!

     

     

  • SlapItHigh
    October 10, 2012 at 2:39 PM

    I don't have those issues b/c my dh would clean before he sat around a dirty house.  In reality, I woudl be the one more likely to say I'd clean it and then forget.  But I would hope my dh would talk to me about it.  I think you have every right to be upset.  Talk to him about how this makes you feel.