Mom to Mom
My dd is 16 months old and driving me crazy! I know she gets what no means but she does not care! I have tried everything and now find myself yelling a lot which does not help! She just ignores me! When I try to move her out of the situation she hits or bites and time outs mean nothing to her. I feel like I am at the end of my rope! I need advice ladies! I do not want to be that parent thats screaming all the time! : (
Replies
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I'm having this same problem with my son whom is 19 months.. A Pack-n-Play!!? My son would be out in 5 seconds.. He climbs over our FIVE FOOT fence outside within two seconds. By the time I stand up and run off the proch to him, he is already over it and running.. I don't believe in spanking. Timeout don't work. And Pack-n-Play really won't work, unless I put something over it and cage him in, but that don't even sound right! (Haha).. Are their any other ways you advise besides a Pack-n-Play?
Quoting CLG122:
I disagree with the other moms. Spanking is NOT appropriate for a 16 month old. Especially if she's been hitting. Spanking will just reinforce that we hit when we don't like what someone's doing-- seriously.
I would do this: set up a Pack N Play with NO TOYS in it. Put it in a separate room from where you usually are, or an out-of-the-way spot where she won't be able to make eye contact with you. EVERY SINGLE TIME she bites/hits/etc, you say "NO biting" and put her in that Pack N Play for 90 seconds. Set a timer. Do not talk to her or look at her during time out. When time's up, you pick her up and say "no biting, okay? Be a nice girl!" Smile and give her a hug. She has to know that you will not tolerate the behavior, but that you forgive and still love her.
16 month olds are tricky!
You have to be consistent. But you should definitely not use time-out or any other kind of punishment when she's just getting into things that you don't want her touching. The answer for that is baby-proofing. If you don't want her touching the DVD player, get a TV unit with doors and put a zip tie or cabinet lock on it. (Ours has glass doors so we can use the remotes while the doors are locked.) If she's getting into trouble in the kitchen, gate the whole room off. At 16 months, she really is just exploring. Even if it's making you crazy :)
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Screaming is a tough thing for me too because my mom yelled and screamed all the time and I hated it.
What's really helped me is to take a deep breath when I feel the need to yell, even walk away if I need to. She's 16 months old - it's a developmental thing. It's not because she doesn't care, she just lacks impulse control.
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is a book that REALLY helped me, but in the mean time, check out ahaparenting for some practical applications and tips.
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In that case (and your son is definitely in the minority here-- that's wild that he climbs fences!) I would put him in his (childproofed) bedroom and close the door for his time-outs. Stick to the 90 seconds-- don't just leave him in there.
Or you can work on using a corner. The corner never worked for my oldest, but my middle child (25 months) will sit there until I let him out.
Time-outs are a great method. Some kids just take some creativity :)
Quoting BraydinsMommy09:
I'm having this same problem with my son whom is 19 months.. A Pack-n-Play!!? My son would be out in 5 seconds.. He climbs over our FIVE FOOT fence outside within two seconds. By the time I stand up and run off the proch to him, he is already over it and running.. I don't believe in spanking. Timeout don't work. And Pack-n-Play really won't work, unless I put something over it and cage him in, but that don't even sound right! (Haha).. Are their any other ways you advise besides a Pack-n-Play?
Quoting CLG122:
I disagree with the other moms. Spanking is NOT appropriate for a 16 month old. Especially if she's been hitting. Spanking will just reinforce that we hit when we don't like what someone's doing-- seriously.
I would do this: set up a Pack N Play with NO TOYS in it. Put it in a separate room from where you usually are, or an out-of-the-way spot where she won't be able to make eye contact with you. EVERY SINGLE TIME she bites/hits/etc, you say "NO biting" and put her in that Pack N Play for 90 seconds. Set a timer. Do not talk to her or look at her during time out. When time's up, you pick her up and say "no biting, okay? Be a nice girl!" Smile and give her a hug. She has to know that you will not tolerate the behavior, but that you forgive and still love her.
16 month olds are tricky!
You have to be consistent. But you should definitely not use time-out or any other kind of punishment when she's just getting into things that you don't want her touching. The answer for that is baby-proofing. If you don't want her touching the DVD player, get a TV unit with doors and put a zip tie or cabinet lock on it. (Ours has glass doors so we can use the remotes while the doors are locked.) If she's getting into trouble in the kitchen, gate the whole room off. At 16 months, she really is just exploring. Even if it's making you crazy :)
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i hope none of you baby spankers live in delaware. you can go to jail for 3 years. enjoy!
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The other thing i figured out is its all about the way you say no because a dad says no they stop so it has alot to do with the firmness in your voice -
That's such a frustrating age! They are physically capable of so much, yet don't have the emotional/mental maturity to understand their boundaries. I promise it will pass!! The day will come when something you have told her 3000 times will finally "stick," and she will actually listen! I remember the day when my son finally stopped and listened to something I said. I can't say she will consistently listen, but I can say the day will come when she will listen to something! Do your best to stay calm and be consistent with the method of discipline you choose.
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Wonderful advice! I'm not a fan of spanking but please don't spank a child that young
Quoting CLG122:
I disagree with the other moms. Spanking is NOT appropriate for a 16 month old. Especially if she's been hitting. Spanking will just reinforce that we hit when we don't like what someone's doing-- seriously.
I would do this: set up a Pack N Play with NO TOYS in it. Put it in a separate room from where you usually are, or an out-of-the-way spot where she won't be able to make eye contact with you. EVERY SINGLE TIME she bites/hits/etc, you say "NO biting" and put her in that Pack N Play for 90 seconds. Set a timer. Do not talk to her or look at her during time out. When time's up, you pick her up and say "no biting, okay? Be a nice girl!" Smile and give her a hug. She has to know that you will not tolerate the behavior, but that you forgive and still love her.
16 month olds are tricky!
You have to be consistent. But you should definitely not use time-out or any other kind of punishment when she's just getting into things that you don't want her touching. The answer for that is baby-proofing. If you don't want her touching the DVD player, get a TV unit with doors and put a zip tie or cabinet lock on it. (Ours has glass doors so we can use the remotes while the doors are locked.) If she's getting into trouble in the kitchen, gate the whole room off. At 16 months, she really is just exploring. Even if it's making you crazy :)
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My son was getting a pop on the toosh by that age. I never had to deal with biting though -
She is a BABY. Pick her up, and redirect her. If she hits you, give her a hug and tell her that hands are for helping not hitting. REally?! People are advocating to HIT a 16 month old?!
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And that teeth are for eating food, not biting people. You're not raising a little cannibal. She's probably teething.