Mom to Mom

Problem child or just experimenting? *Long* need advice on what to do **Update**
September 29, 2012 at 11:22 AM

I called up my sons principal yesterday and he told me that this shouldn't have happened. He's going to call a meeting with all of the 2nd grade teachers and inform them of what is happening. He's going to make sure that the teachers keep an eye on Courtney to make sure she doesn't do it again. I feel bad that I went over my sons teachers' head but I figured I had to speak to the principal about the situation. I did suggest to him that his teacher, him and I should meet up but that's when he told me he's going to speak with the other teachers.  He said that it would be bad if my son had to be transfered to a different class because he probably made friends all ready and how far into the school year it is. Really?? Why would MY son have to move to a different class?? I told him in a 7 year olds perspective he might feel that he's being punished if he ended up moving into another class. He told me that he wouldn't want to move Courtney out of that class just in case she was put there for a reason. Wow!! Really?? That was the reason he gave me?? Okay. So if this continues and they make him move to a different class, I'm thinking of getting the media involved, after all, if the situation was reversed, my son would be the one getting suspended for this. I feel they are being sexist about this situation. 

My son was in 1st grade last year and 6 years old. Things were going fine for him. Until one day he comes home and said, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." She was a classmate of his. I told him that she shouldn't do it and that he should stay away from her. The week after he comes home from school and he said,"Courtney tried holding my hand and kissed me on the cheek." I told him that the next time she touches you to tell her stop. The next day he comes home and says, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." I asked, "did you tell her to stop?" He said yes. I told him to ignore her. I told him to not tell the teacher because she doesn't need to get in trouble. I figured she's 6 so she's just experimenting. The next week he comes up to me and tells me that she touched his penis. So I wrote his teacher a note and told her what his classmate did. She called me to let me know that the kids went to see the school counselor to talk about this (separately, of course). That her parents were informed on what happened. She also told me that she's going to keep them separate and she will keep a better eye on her from now on. I explained to her that she had been kissing him and holding his hands throughout the year. I told his teacher that I didn't want to say anything at first because I didn't want to get Courtney in alot of trouble and possibly have this scar her when all she might have been doing is experimenting to begin with.

The next day my son comes home telling me, "Courtney came up to me and put her arms on her hips and said to me, "thanks alot Alex!" So that was the end of that.

This year my son is in 2nd grade and 7 years old. At his open house (before school starts each year, kids get to visit their classroom, meet their teacher and possibly meet their classmates). We saw that Courtney was in his class again this year.

I informed his teacher on what happened last year between the two of them and she told me that she was told about it all ready.

One my of son's friend came over to play and his friends mother told me that Courntey is a trouble maker and that she got her son in trouble a couple of times last year.

So.....last week (school started September 4th as it's 3 weeks into schoo) my son comes home and yet, again, tells me that Courtney kissed him on the cheek.

I'm thinking of maybe contacting my sons elementary school principal and letting him know what's going on since, obviously, telling my sons teacher isn't helping at all. I can understand, she has to watch over 18 kids so she can't keep on eye on Courtney all of the time. She's not there when they have lunch or are at their specials. 

Should I inform my sons teacher on what Courtney did or should I just go and tell the principal?

I don't want to go over the teachers head and go right to her boss but it doesn't seem like talking to his teacher is helping at all.

Also, isn't this considered a type of bullying?


  • kailu1835
    October 2, 2012 at 2:34 PM

    This is sexual harrassment.  The parents need to be notified and the teacher needs to watch her like a hawk.  No way should she have been in a position to actually touch your son's privates.  Not acceptable at all, and I would pitch an enormous fit if they tried to move the victim of this situation instead of the predator.  And yes, she's being predatory.  If the roles were reversed, you're correct... your son would be labeled a predator and sexual harrasment would be all over his file.

  • kailu1835
    October 2, 2012 at 2:37 PM

    That girl has all the signs of being sexually abused.  Someone needs to call CPS and have that girl's home life investigated.

    Quoting Bethy16:

    I had a VERY simmilar situation with my son when he was in 1st grade. This little girl actually pulled her pants down and asked my son to lick her and she wanted to suck his penis!! She did the same thing to my girlfriends son so we both called the school trying to avoid the parents. They also called them in separately and that afternoon the girl grabbed my son and threw him into the bus window also saying thanks for getting her in trouble. In this case the school did nothing. It started up again last year the first week on the bus and i told the school and the parents I was going to the police since they are not protecting my son! I was so happpy when they changed bus routes and even though she lives down the block she is not on the bus with him. BUT guess who he was sitting next to in class the first day of school??? I requested she not be in class with him and here she is! The principal cant do anything now but the teacher moved his seat. She keeps them as apart as she can. That being said this girl had both of the kids on each side of her ask to have their desks moved and she gets sent to the office almost every day. While she is not bullying my son anymore she is so disruptive in the class it takes away from all therest of the kids. What drives me nuts is that because it is was a girl to a boy it isnt as serious as if it was a boy doing this to a girl. I would threaten the school and if it continues they need to call CPS because 6yr olds shouldnt know this kind of stuff :(

  • RAJ88
    by RAJ88
    October 2, 2012 at 3:12 PM

    id be contacting CPS since kids at this age should have no interested in that kind of stuff... id feel bad for her maybe  a bad home life?

  • Night_Roane
    October 2, 2012 at 3:16 PM

    I don't think they're being sexist, I think that they're trying to work things out between two 7yr olds. I think that they probably are already suspicious of the girls' parents, and trying to keep an eye out for them. When he says the girl may have been put in that class for a reason, maybe the reason is that he thinks her parents would be more open to talking to that teacher, or that that teacher is better equipped to handle a situation like that. I wouldn't go to the media over this because, first of all, the two kids are minors, so the other girl's name couldn't be released, and if you released your son's name, the article could come back to haunt him. Also, it's not like the school is turning a blind eye. They are trying to keep the situation under control without it escalating, and from what I understand she has not groped him for the past year. 

    Honestly, before I went to the media I would probably go to her parents, and talk to them about how this makes your son feel.

  • rawrmommysaurus
    October 2, 2012 at 3:42 PM

    IMO I would be calling CPS and doing an anonymous tip.  A 7 y/o shouldn't be acting that way.  There is something behind the scenes going on.

  • rawrmommysaurus
    October 2, 2012 at 3:42 PM

    LOL I just made a similar post.  I agree.  

    Quoting RAJ88:

    id be contacting CPS since kids at this age should have no interested in that kind of stuff... id feel bad for her maybe  a bad home life?

  • MrsNewman
    October 2, 2012 at 3:59 PM

    wow, that is messed up. I hope your able to get it all figure out without to much trouble. My son has the same problem with girls chasing him around, kissing him, trying to hit him, hold his hand .... I just tell him to try and stay away from the girl as much as possible, but It hasn't gone as far as this. I wonder if she is being abused?

  • kcrogue
    by kcrogue
    October 2, 2012 at 4:12 PM

    When I was in first grade I remember walking backwards on the playground and a bunch of boys snuck up behind me. They held my arm and legs down and one covered my mouth. Then a boy, who my neighbor and basically my best friend came forward the hand from my mouth was removed just in time for him to kiss me. Next thing I know my teacher is pulling aside explaining that that was inappropriate behavior and I shouldn't kiss boys! I was so upset. He got in trouble too and our parents were called. But it was horrible because I felt like I was in trouble and I hadn't done anything. His parents freaked and he got in a ton of trouble the whole thing was embarrassing because it's hadn't felt like such a big deal at the time but I'm glad action was taken, now. I hope they don't do anything to make your child feel like he's in trouble, that's just not right. But this isn't abnormal behavior for kids, it blew over really fast and there wasn't any other trouble after my incident.

  • lorelei10
    October 2, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    bullying? not really, harrassment maybe... id be more concerned with what is going on in her household honestly....

  • motherslove82
    October 2, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    I would be concerned about what may be going on in Courtney's life that she keeps doing these things. The kissing, even when she's told to stop, isn't good. Touching privates is not something a six year old should even think to do.

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