Mom to Mom

Problem child or just experimenting? *Long* need advice on what to do **Update**
September 29, 2012 at 11:22 AM

I called up my sons principal yesterday and he told me that this shouldn't have happened. He's going to call a meeting with all of the 2nd grade teachers and inform them of what is happening. He's going to make sure that the teachers keep an eye on Courtney to make sure she doesn't do it again. I feel bad that I went over my sons teachers' head but I figured I had to speak to the principal about the situation. I did suggest to him that his teacher, him and I should meet up but that's when he told me he's going to speak with the other teachers.  He said that it would be bad if my son had to be transfered to a different class because he probably made friends all ready and how far into the school year it is. Really?? Why would MY son have to move to a different class?? I told him in a 7 year olds perspective he might feel that he's being punished if he ended up moving into another class. He told me that he wouldn't want to move Courtney out of that class just in case she was put there for a reason. Wow!! Really?? That was the reason he gave me?? Okay. So if this continues and they make him move to a different class, I'm thinking of getting the media involved, after all, if the situation was reversed, my son would be the one getting suspended for this. I feel they are being sexist about this situation. 

My son was in 1st grade last year and 6 years old. Things were going fine for him. Until one day he comes home and said, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." She was a classmate of his. I told him that she shouldn't do it and that he should stay away from her. The week after he comes home from school and he said,"Courtney tried holding my hand and kissed me on the cheek." I told him that the next time she touches you to tell her stop. The next day he comes home and says, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." I asked, "did you tell her to stop?" He said yes. I told him to ignore her. I told him to not tell the teacher because she doesn't need to get in trouble. I figured she's 6 so she's just experimenting. The next week he comes up to me and tells me that she touched his penis. So I wrote his teacher a note and told her what his classmate did. She called me to let me know that the kids went to see the school counselor to talk about this (separately, of course). That her parents were informed on what happened. She also told me that she's going to keep them separate and she will keep a better eye on her from now on. I explained to her that she had been kissing him and holding his hands throughout the year. I told his teacher that I didn't want to say anything at first because I didn't want to get Courtney in alot of trouble and possibly have this scar her when all she might have been doing is experimenting to begin with.

The next day my son comes home telling me, "Courtney came up to me and put her arms on her hips and said to me, "thanks alot Alex!" So that was the end of that.

This year my son is in 2nd grade and 7 years old. At his open house (before school starts each year, kids get to visit their classroom, meet their teacher and possibly meet their classmates). We saw that Courtney was in his class again this year.

I informed his teacher on what happened last year between the two of them and she told me that she was told about it all ready.

One my of son's friend came over to play and his friends mother told me that Courntey is a trouble maker and that she got her son in trouble a couple of times last year.

So.....last week (school started September 4th as it's 3 weeks into schoo) my son comes home and yet, again, tells me that Courtney kissed him on the cheek.

I'm thinking of maybe contacting my sons elementary school principal and letting him know what's going on since, obviously, telling my sons teacher isn't helping at all. I can understand, she has to watch over 18 kids so she can't keep on eye on Courtney all of the time. She's not there when they have lunch or are at their specials. 

Should I inform my sons teacher on what Courtney did or should I just go and tell the principal?

I don't want to go over the teachers head and go right to her boss but it doesn't seem like talking to his teacher is helping at all.

Also, isn't this considered a type of bullying?


  • jessi2girls
    October 2, 2012 at 10:31 AM

    no, it's not really bullying, but it is considered sexual harassment.. and the principle should be informed... in fact at this point I wonder if they've notified CPS about this.. a girl that is this age that is this promiscuous may have a history of abuse at home and these actions really should be raising red flags with the school to inform them.

  • krayzbabylove
    October 2, 2012 at 10:39 AM

    I wouldn't call it bullying, but it is definitely a sign of things that aren't good. 7 year olds dont just, out of the blue start kissing and touching other kids privates.

  • karladiego
    October 2, 2012 at 10:50 AM

    At that age they do experiment and have crushes and I wouldn't consider it a problem if it would have been just a kiss on the cheek but going on to grabbing your son's penis then that is a HUGE red flag that this girl is either witnessing inappropriate behaviour or she is experiencing it on herself. I would say get a conference with the teacher AND the principal together and make sure that they know this were to happen again you will take legal measures.

    It is sad and scary that a kid her age is behaving this way because she may be a victim also but she needs to be stopped.

  • Megan11587
    October 2, 2012 at 10:55 AM

     I would say it is bullying since he asked her to stop.  The first couple times I would have brushed off, but it's turning into sexual harassment.  Your son should not feel uncomfortable at school.  I would set up a meeting with the teacher & principal together to see what can be done.  Is there another class your son could be moved to?

  • Pooobaihr
    October 2, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    LOL Doesn't sound like bullying to me. Sounds like the little girl likes him and thats all.  The only thing I would hve said anything about is the touching of his penis.. Other than that, sounds like a little girl who has puppy love.  Nothing close to bullying at all.

  • mikesmom65270
    October 2, 2012 at 11:27 AM

    If a boy did this, even at this young age, he wuld probably be punished for sexual harassment.  I agree about the girl, sounds really like she might be a victim of sexual abuse.

    Quoting orngblsm:

    First thing that comes to my mind is why is a 6/7-year-old child so sexually aggressive?  That is usually a red flag that a child has been sexually abused.  If so, she needs help.  I read your post to my mother and the first words out of her mouth were, "Something wrong is going on in Courtney's home."  What she is doing is not experimenting but a cry for help. 

    Yes, what she is doing is a form of bullying, in the adult world we call it sexual harassment.  What I would probably do is call a meeting with the teacher, the principal, and the school psychologist.  Explain what happened last year, what is happening again this year, and ask what they plan to do about it.  I would bring up the possibility of abuse and that you have heard from other classmate's mothers that Courtney has had issues with them as well.  More of the same like last year (speak with a school counselor and the parents) would not be acceptable.  Your son, like all kids, deserves to have a supportive learning environment which he is not getting while being harassed by a classmate.  And if that classmate needs help and intervention, she should get that as well.

  • Ms.KitKat
    October 2, 2012 at 11:32 AM

     even at this tender age, is is sexual harassment. Best this child learn now rathe than later that there is good touch and bad touch and yes, this child is bullying your child but on top of that- is sexually harassing him.

    I would do an email to the teacher and cc the principal on it- first outlining all that occured last year and then report what is occuring this year. That way- you are technically going to the teaher but also letting the princiapl know and so it is an admin issue as to how to handle this.

    on a side not, my ds was being harassed in pre-k school by an over zealous lttle girl. She would corner a certain few of the boys - my ds being one of them- (literally corner them in the corner of the class room) and kiss the boy. The mother was mortified! and worked very hard on taming her little girl. Even after the children "graduated" and went to different elementary schools, whenever we would occasionally see them about town, this little girl always had a certan little sparkle in her eye for my ds. I think the girl likes the control. DS was not flattered. 

  • flowerfunleah
    October 2, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    I would contact the principal.

  • Lizzys_mommy13
    October 2, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    Is there a way to get in touch with her parents? I would be calling them and discussing this with them as well as the principal. Sounds to me like she may be "experimenting" a little bit more than what most girls do at that age. The kiss on the cheek thing is pretty normal for a 6 or 7 year old girl. Heck, I remember chasing around a kid in kindergarten just because I thought it was funny. The penis touching though sounds like she may be seeing things she shouldn't or that she had something explained to her without extra "we do not do this" information explained.

  • graciefreesoul
    October 2, 2012 at 11:55 AM

    harrassment (yeah, sounds weird for a kid) and i'd tell the teacher and let her know i'm going to the principal. kissing might seem cute and innocent sometimes but i can't stand for another kid to touch my child...even if they're only looking at her hair...keep ur hands to yourself is what i was always told and always teach my daughter...

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