SMalterer
Grandparent drama
September 24, 2012 at 10:14 PM

My parents are going through a divorce right now after 24, seemingly happy years of marriage. They told us at christmas last year. And since then my father has told me he has wanted a divorce from my mother for over 10 years and that I am the only reason why they stayed together. I have a younger sister who is 11. He has wavied his parental rights until the divorce is over supposidly. He does not seem to care. He has disowned my half sister and keeps blowing me and my other half sister off. I have a 2 month old son now and he has seen him once, at the hospital. 

Is it wrong for me to deny him the privelge of seeing his grandson if he is not going to make an effort to keep his already leary relationships with his daughters? He has also had a girlfriend for the last year my parents were together and seems to have intergrated himself into her family. His girlfriend makes quite a bit of money. I am just so irriated at his behavior. I want to scream, cry, punch, and spit on him. My husband has been great, but know the situation is getting to him also. Any words of advice for a mom torn?

Replies

  • OliviasMommy611
    September 24, 2012 at 11:55 PM
    I wouldn't hold him back from seeing your son. Does he even want to?
  • SlapItHigh
    September 25, 2012 at 12:20 AM

    I have no good advice....just wanted to say that I'm sorry this is happening :(.

  • Janet
    by Janet
    September 25, 2012 at 8:15 AM

     

    Quoting SlapItHigh:

    I have no good advice....just wanted to say that I'm sorry this is happening :(.

     

  • lillucky8
    September 25, 2012 at 8:19 AM
    Sounds like alot of the same drama we have going on. I dont stop them from seeing the kids, i just make sure they know im not happy about the situation and that they dont see the kids enough
  • mom2gr8tgirls
    September 25, 2012 at 8:26 AM

    My parents got divorced when I was 20, after 20 years of marriage.  Their divorce was bitter, disgusting and completely childish.  They were both cheating on each other.  My sister and I were both old enough that there was no custody issues and neither of us had any kids at the time.  My parents have been divorced for 12 years and still can't be in the same room together...they are THAT childish.  My father will literally ask me if my mom is going to be somewhere (like one of my kids' birthday parties, etc) before he decides if he's coming or not.  It's pathetic.  I now have a very strained relationship with my father (I actually stopped speaking to him for over a year after he left my mom) and my relationship isn't much better with my mom.  I just can't stand to hear them talk crap about each other (yes, they STILL do).  Part of it is my sister fanning the flames and lying to them both about each other though.  She needs the drama in her life.  

    If you need/want to cut him out of your life for at least the time being, do so.  But don't just stop talking to him...tell him your reasons and that you won't be allowing him to be in your life for right now...or forever, whatever you decide.  GL mama.

  • goddess99
    September 25, 2012 at 9:16 AM

    He doesn't seem to want to see anyone from his old family so I wouldn't worry about it. It's his loss. I certainly wouldn't make the effort to set up any type of meeting between him and your son.

  • kim8934
    by kim8934
    September 25, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    your father can waive his parental rights all he wants, he is still their father and will be forced to pay CS. let him go, he's not worth the time on you or your hubby.  If he isn't going to bother seeing his kids, I can guarantee he won't bother seeing his grandkids.

    You don't have to do anything, he has taken all the decision making and worry away from you

  • peachesforme
    September 25, 2012 at 5:38 PM

    I think if he wants to see his grandson, let him. If you do what's best for your son, it would probably be best that he knows his grandad, as long as your dad isn't a complete lunatic who is going to hurt your son for whatever reason. Put the kids needs first

  • Pammi86
    by Pammi86
    September 25, 2012 at 10:15 PM

    Do what you feel is best.

  • jltplk25
    September 25, 2012 at 10:39 PM
    My parents also divorced when I was 20 after 20 years of marriage. My dad also told me i was the only reason he stayed as long as he did howeer im an only child. A year and a half ago I deleted my stepmom from facebook after i found out she was using me to spy on her kids. My dad got mad at ME and i havent seen him since 12/26/10. He has never acknowledged either of mychildren's birthdays so as far as im concerned, im done. Not simply bc of birthdays but those are his GRANDCHILDREN. I would think these things are important but i guess not.

    So....id say hell no but im bitter. Lol