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MamaK2010
Trapped and judged by my husbands family while on vacation
August 18, 2012 at 6:58 PM

Hello ladies,


So Im finding myself in a very awkward position. We are currently on holidays and staying with my husbands family which usually isnt  an issue but I am finding myself ganged up on and am not enjoying our "family" holiday. They are becoming more and more judgemental about various things from how I am parenting my DD, to the form of dicipline we are using, to the fact that I am doing extended breast feeding, and most recently the fact that I at some point let my speed get up to 115km an hour before realizing and slowing down. They have raised their kids and chose to do so how they saw fit and thats where the line should be drawn. I feel like its honestly NONE of their business. If they dont like it or rather everything I am doing (my husband can do no wrong) I feel like we just shouldnt visit any more.

They didnt say anything to me but raher to my husband about my "lack of dicipline" my daughter was in their shop and was playing with a display of honey since as a toddler she likes to stack and hoard things to carry in her arms like mommy does. It was fine until they got bored of it but by then she was a amped up and wasnt listening (NORMAL for children!) but then they felt the need to tell my husband that we needed to dicipline her better so she would stop misbehaving. I am honestly blown away to tell you the truth by all of this and my husband just asked them to be her guardians if anything happens to us as we are doing our will.


The thought now makes me cringe since I do not believe in Yelling and screaming at my kids on a daily basis nor do I believe that it is ok to take a wooden spoon or belt to them.Under pressure from his family my husband ended up yelling at our daughter and was handling her rough. I nearly lost it and yelled at him myself and told him he was done parenting if he couldnt control himself since that is NOT how WE parent.


Have any of you been through this/ What advice would you offer? We are supposed to be staying here until Monday but Im ready to pack up and leave tonight.



Have any of you been

Replies

  • goddess99
    August 18, 2012 at 10:51 PM

    I definitely wouldn't state them in a legal will as guardians to your daughter. Hope the rest of your vacation flies by. I can't even imagine vacationing with my dh's mom. 1 of us might die, and it wouldn't be me lol.

  • Janet
    by Janet
    August 19, 2012 at 12:11 AM

     I'm so sorry mama.  (((hugs)))

  • mommyjenn29
    August 19, 2012 at 7:51 AM

    If this was me...I would be packing and leaving early too.I also agree I wouldn't give them NO RIGHTS on your daughter from your will.Try to find someone you could trust that has the same opinions raising a child as you do.I also would never go on a vacation with them ever again.GOOD LUCK!!!!

  • DixieFlower
    August 19, 2012 at 9:31 PM

    I would leave early. I have done so with my inlaws. I would then tell my husband that I don't think we should vacation with his parents anymore. I'd explain to him how it is not a good enviroment for our children.

  • StephieDevlin
    August 21, 2012 at 11:02 AM

     I'd leave too.  your husband should back you up 100%, not turn his back on his and your own parenting technique because of his family.  My BIL a lot of times will give me dirty looks when he doesn't agree with something I do with my DS.  I am sure he wouldn't like it if I did  it to him.  hope things work out!

  • LindaDarling
    August 21, 2012 at 12:29 PM

    The only way to nip them in the bud is to stand up to them.  You don't have to be mean or nasty, just be direct.  They know they can pick at you indirectly through your hubby, and they will keep doing it until you put a stop to it.  He is kind of stuck in the middle, but he should be backing you up for sure.  If you are very direct with them and tell them they don't get to dictate anything about your parenting or discipline they will back off.  Be respectful and tell them like it is and they will respect you for it.  Hope it gets better.  I would get the heck out of there too.  

  • MamaK2010
    August 22, 2012 at 11:30 AM

    thanks ladies...we ended up leaving two days early after all. I just  decided that it wasnt worth the stress after all it was supposed to be our family vacation. We had a long talk on the way home and decided that we will only be going out to visit them every other year and we wont be staying with them. If we have to stay there for whatever reason the trip will be 4 days or less not 2 weeks!

    My husband is upset that I no longer want them in our will but like I told him if they cant respect my wishes while Im still here...how the heck are they going to when Im gone? We want her raised a certain way with our morals and values taught and the things that we view as a priority encouraged. At this point I really dont know that they are capable of executing any of this.



  • LvngMmyCampbell
    August 22, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    Good for you, and good for your husband for backing you up!

    Quoting MamaK2010:

    thanks ladies...we ended up leaving two days early after all. I just  decided that it wasnt worth the stress after all it was supposed to be our family vacation. We had a long talk on the way home and decided that we will only be going out to visit them every other year and we wont be staying with them. If we have to stay there for whatever reason the trip will be 4 days or less not 2 weeks!

    My husband is upset that I no longer want them in our will but like I told him if they cant respect my wishes while Im still here...how the heck are they going to when Im gone? We want her raised a certain way with our morals and values taught and the things that we view as a priority encouraged. At this point I really dont know that they are capable of executing any of this.

     

     


  • SlapItHigh
    August 22, 2012 at 11:44 PM
    So sorry:(.
  • champagne_rose
    August 23, 2012 at 1:05 AM

     :(

     

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