Mom to Mom

Capturing the Elusive Date Night
April 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM

It's a pretty rare occasion, honestly. I've heard of it happening, especially with other couples. I've heard the anticipation, the joy, the luxury, the opulence. 

I speak, OBVIOUSLY, of The Elusive Date Night.

When I say "it's a rare occasion", I may be slightly exaggerating. I've talked to some couples with kids the same ages as ours, and they claim to have not been out since the baby was born. And, seriously, I offer them my condolences.

But I also have friends - lots of them, actually - who manage to have Date Nights almost WEEKLY. If not SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK. Isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever heard? How does that HAPPEN?

(Are you one of those people? HOW DO YOU MAKE THAT HAPPEN?)

Anyway, we average one date night every six weeks or so. And because it happens so infrequently, we tend to fall into this routine: Sushi, movie, home by 11:00. Maybe 10:30. We'll sometimes swap out "movie" for "play" as we are theatre folks, but that's the routine. Always sushi, always home by 11:00. We have to pay the babysitter, after all.

This column is about slowing down to enjoy the weekends, I know. And I've tried to supply family-friendly ways to do that. But you know what? Sometimes, I need to be an adult. Who does adult things and drinks adult drinks and enjoys dinner while it's STILL WARM. I need to have a couple of hours without someone pawing at me, without hearing "MOMMA LOOK" eleventy frillion times, without having to dig out a spare band-aid/game/boogie wipe from my purse. I need that. 

(If I sound a little testy, it's because we're coming up on the six week mark.)

Aside from it being a great mental break, it's also - admittedly - nice to remember why I married the crazy man in my bed. (No, not that one. The OTHER one. The one with the wedding ring.) Granted, it's a struggle to find things to talk about outside of the kids - and I put no stock in that being an indication of a bad marriage, because if you have lunch with a coworker outside of work, what are Y'ALL gonna talk about? Work, right? It may eventually lead to a personal or general discussion, but chances are, you're focused on your common ground.

But what I'm saying here, rambling as it were, is that it's nice to sip a little sake and pretend that we don't have to get up at the crack of dawn the next morning to clean pee out of someone's bed linens.

How often do you get out for a date night? 


  • momkaribg
    April 25, 2012 at 11:42 AM

     I hope you can make him see the error of his ways. Date nights are important.

    Quoting Mrs.Pool2Be:

    Not often at all!  :-(   My DH says that since we are married now that we aren't dating and that married couples don't "date".  I have tried to get him to see the error of his thinking but he doesn't listen to me.  We might go out just the two of us once a year, if that.


  • elasmimi
    April 25, 2012 at 11:54 AM

    Our gymnastics place has a parents night out every other Friday. We NEVER miss.

  • elasmimi
    April 25, 2012 at 11:55 AM

    And we are actually going away for the weekend of my birthday as a birthday/mother's day gift from my wonderful ss.

  • LancesMom
    April 25, 2012 at 12:25 PM

    Ahahahahaha! Whats a date?

  • LancesMom
    April 25, 2012 at 12:26 PM

    Ok so maybe I do get out for dinner once in awhile. Buts its been probably 6 months! Ya unless we get a gift card, we don't seem to take the time or make the effort. We feel to guilty with the way our bill situation is!

  • MamaMandee
    April 25, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    Date nights outside that house only a few times a year like maybe 6. But we have date night at home after the kids have gone to bed often! 

  • Reina13
    by Reina13
    April 25, 2012 at 12:59 PM

    We do this as well. Often it is just running errands together that we have 'date time'.

    Quoting millerbunch:

    at least once a week.. even if it's to run to the store together or grab a quick bite to eat.  so it could be a  'date-day' :)  lol

  • Reina13
    by Reina13
    April 25, 2012 at 1:00 PM

    I think it is very important to make one on one time with your partner. As much as your children need to be nurtured, so does your relationship with your SO.

  • Leelee1008
    April 25, 2012 at 1:05 PM

    Not often. the last actual date night we planned and went on was on valentines day, which coincidentally was the 1st vtines day we have ever done anything on in the entire 13 years we have been together, lol.

  • Leelee1008
    April 25, 2012 at 1:06 PM


    Quoting Reina13:

    I think it is very important to make one on one time with your partner. As much as your children need to be nurtured, so does your relationship with your SO.

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