Mom to Mom

Capturing the Elusive Date Night
April 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM

It's a pretty rare occasion, honestly. I've heard of it happening, especially with other couples. I've heard the anticipation, the joy, the luxury, the opulence. 

I speak, OBVIOUSLY, of The Elusive Date Night.

When I say "it's a rare occasion", I may be slightly exaggerating. I've talked to some couples with kids the same ages as ours, and they claim to have not been out since the baby was born. And, seriously, I offer them my condolences.

But I also have friends - lots of them, actually - who manage to have Date Nights almost WEEKLY. If not SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK. Isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever heard? How does that HAPPEN?

(Are you one of those people? HOW DO YOU MAKE THAT HAPPEN?)

Anyway, we average one date night every six weeks or so. And because it happens so infrequently, we tend to fall into this routine: Sushi, movie, home by 11:00. Maybe 10:30. We'll sometimes swap out "movie" for "play" as we are theatre folks, but that's the routine. Always sushi, always home by 11:00. We have to pay the babysitter, after all.

This column is about slowing down to enjoy the weekends, I know. And I've tried to supply family-friendly ways to do that. But you know what? Sometimes, I need to be an adult. Who does adult things and drinks adult drinks and enjoys dinner while it's STILL WARM. I need to have a couple of hours without someone pawing at me, without hearing "MOMMA LOOK" eleventy frillion times, without having to dig out a spare band-aid/game/boogie wipe from my purse. I need that. 

(If I sound a little testy, it's because we're coming up on the six week mark.)

Aside from it being a great mental break, it's also - admittedly - nice to remember why I married the crazy man in my bed. (No, not that one. The OTHER one. The one with the wedding ring.) Granted, it's a struggle to find things to talk about outside of the kids - and I put no stock in that being an indication of a bad marriage, because if you have lunch with a coworker outside of work, what are Y'ALL gonna talk about? Work, right? It may eventually lead to a personal or general discussion, but chances are, you're focused on your common ground.

But what I'm saying here, rambling as it were, is that it's nice to sip a little sake and pretend that we don't have to get up at the crack of dawn the next morning to clean pee out of someone's bed linens.

How often do you get out for a date night? 


  • babyboxfish
    April 26, 2012 at 1:11 AM

    same here!!

    Quoting millerbunch:

    at least once a week.. even if it's to run to the store together or grab a quick bite to eat.  so it could be a  'date-day' :)  lol

  • babyboxfish
    April 26, 2012 at 1:13 AM

    we usually get out once a week, if only for just an afternoon :)

  • elasmimi
    April 26, 2012 at 7:26 AM

    We don't really have a sitter, so it's hard for us to get out.

  • Janet
    by Janet
    April 26, 2012 at 7:54 AM

     I would love to go to a bed and breakfast!

    Quoting Bmat:

    It is important to get out, so you and he can focus on one another.  Married couple do date. My mom sometimes watched our children so that my husband and I could get out together for a weekend. We went to bed and breakfasts within driving distance and walked and held hands and ate out. It was refreshing.

    Quoting Mrs.Pool2Be:

    Not often at all!  :-(   My DH says that since we are married now that we aren't dating and that married couples don't "date".  I have tried to get him to see the error of his thinking but he doesn't listen to me.  We might go out just the two of us once a year, if that.


  • Janet
    by Janet
    April 26, 2012 at 7:57 AM

     We go out to eat or out for coffee at starbucks. Something simple, DH doesn't like to do We do this at least every two weeks.

  • MamaBear2cubs
    April 26, 2012 at 8:08 AM

    Same here.

    Quoting elasmimi:

    We don't really have a sitter, so it's hard for us to get out.

  • delanna6two
    April 27, 2012 at 4:59 PM

    We don't do anything together any more that is not for the purpose of daily living sad...I miss it.

  • hargyle
    by hargyle
    April 30, 2012 at 6:36 PM

    Sounds like us.   Two date nights in 6 years!!!

    My DS that is 6 has only slept away at grandmas house once (when his younger brother was born), and my DS that is 4 has never slept away.   We seriously need a babysitter!!1  Ugh!

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