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Angblake76
What's your thoughts on this...
December 7, 2011 at 3:39 AM
I recently got engaged to a great guy(Shawn). I've know him since I was 13. We dated in high school then went seperate ways. I married an idiot...but I did get the best part of him 2 daughters. Lol. We divorced & Shawn has moved back here for me. I adore him, he's so good to me & my girls. One thing really bothers me. He has no kids of his own & I can't have anymore. He swears it doesn't bother him & he considers my girls our girls. He's better to them then their DNA dad. I can't help it but it bothers me he will never have a child of his own. He says that the day I had my tubes tied (then a hysterectomy) he knew he'd never have kids because he never stopped loving me& I was the only one he would ever wanted kids with(we have a huge history so I know he's being truthful). But still it bothers me. He's an only child. I love his parents they are better to me then my own. But part of me is afraid he'll have regrets one day. I had a realty bad marriage & it's taking a long time for me to accept a man can be good to you.
Would it bother you that he doesn't have a child of his own knowing you can't give him one? When we talk about he threatens to have a vasectomy to prove his point.

Replies

  • nakoal87
    December 7, 2011 at 6:23 AM

    No. I don't see where you are coming from on this one. I was engaged 3 times and just cause they didn't have kids didn't mean that I wanted to give them any either. Your case? You do but I dunno, I just don't get it.

  • nana9106
    December 7, 2011 at 7:25 AM
    If he says it's not a problem, and he loves you, then you should believe him. If he decides that he wants a child with you y'all can always adopt.
  • Amykay78
    December 7, 2011 at 7:29 AM

    I agree with her. Another option would be finding a surrogate if it became a problem.

    Quoting nana9106:

    If he says it's not a problem, and he loves you, then you should believe him. If he decides that he wants a child with you y'all can always adopt.


  • coolbreeze0717
    December 7, 2011 at 7:49 AM
    Let it go & enjoy what you've got.
  • Luv.My.Kidz
    December 7, 2011 at 8:22 AM

    I'm going through the same thing as you! My fiance doesn't have kids and I may have to have a hyster and he says the same as yours does. It still bothers though. 

    He says he wouldn't regret, but I'm worried he'll leave so he can have a baby.

  • momofsixangels
    December 7, 2011 at 8:42 AM

    I understand but he says it doesnt bother him.I would just be happy and enjoy life.

  • delanna6two
    December 7, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    I agree with this.

    Quoting nana9106:

    If he says it's not a problem, and he loves you, then you should believe him. If he decides that he wants a child with you y'all can always adopt.


  • Janet
    by Janet
    December 7, 2011 at 9:25 AM

     I agree with this.

    Quoting coolbreeze0717:

    Let it go & enjoy what you've got.

     

  • goddess99
    December 7, 2011 at 9:29 AM

    Nope doesn't bother me. I have 1 dd and can not have more. I met my dh 3-4 years after having my dd. He knew and he didn't have any kids. He didn't care and always said that. I believe him. So we got married a couple years later. I hope you're not looking for an excuse to not be with him. Because this isn't worth that.

  • splatz
    by splatz
    December 7, 2011 at 10:47 AM
    SO always said he wanted 2 of his own.
    He treats DS like his own and says he's happy with my ds and our dd. I'm not sure if I really want another or not.

    But, I do wonder if he really does want another that is biologically his. He says he is happy with our 2. But, I just don't know.. He was adopted, so I feel like having biological family is really important to him. :/
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