The bikini cups stay on not with straps, but instead with waterproof adhesive that's activated by the heat of your body.
This means that you can remove your bikini straps for a better tan without getting arrested for indecent exposure.
It also means NO MORE WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS.
Sounds pretty awesome right? And potentially even worth the $95 it takes to buy a Perfect Tan Bikini.
But wait! Let's read the instructions on how to make it work:
Clean and dry the areas where the adhesive strips will touch your skin.
Pull off the protective paper strips that are over the adhesive, but save them for reactivating the adhesive the next time you wear your top*
Place the cup over your breast, pressing from the outside first, moving to the center of your torso.
Use a blow dryer to increase adhesive. *To reactivate adhesive: reposition protective strips over adhesive, press on with hot iron. This will allow adhesive to last through several reapplications. Remember to save the paper strips.
Okay, now I'm seeing some problems.
First of all, who has time to reactivate the adhesive with a hot iron every time she wants to wear a bikini?
Second of all, the adhesive only lasts through "several" reapplications? How many is several? Three? Five?
Ninety-five dollars for a bikini that you can only wear six times?
I can see one great use for a Perfect Tan Bikini: beauty pageants.
Otherwise, I think I'll stick with my tried-and-true straps, thank you very much.