AIRPLANE: What Mom impersonates to get a one-year-old to eat strained beets.
ALIEN: What Mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself.
APPLE: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.
BABY: 1) Dad, when he gets a cold. 2) Mom’s youngest child, even if he’s 42.
BATHROOM: a room used by the entire family, believed by all (except Mom) to be self-cleaning.
“BECAUSE”: Mom’s reason for having kids do things which can’t be explained logically.
BED AND BREAKFAST: Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
CARPET: Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.
CAR POOL: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest, with the biggest bunch of kids, who have had the most sugar