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xxLukesMamaxx
Fit Control
July 9, 2011 at 3:06 PM

My 5 year old's fit throwing is out of control! He is 5 years old and any time he doesn't get his way, he throws a major fit. He starts screaming and crying. It doesn't matter where we are, at home, out in public, it's ridiculous! I tell him every time that throwing a fit is unacceptable and that I understands that he is frustrated but he is expressing it the wrong way. He doesn't seem to hear me though. I really don't know how to handle this. I need fit control. Anyone have any suggestions on how I can express to him more clearly that this behavior is not OK? 

Replies

  • lovinangels
    July 9, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    When he is CALM, explain to him that his fits are the most amazing thing you've ever seen, that he throws simply the best fits around, and such fits deserve a special place. 

    Make this a place where you can not see him, but is as safe as possible.  This will be his tantrum place. He must go here whenever he does this. If you are out, his tantrum place will be his seat in the car.

    Ignore him while he tantrums in his tantrum place. (this will suck, but the fits will be shorter each time when they aren't rewarded with attention.)Then go ahead and really make a HUGE FUSS about when he behaves the way you want him to. " I LOVE how you are doing X, that's just how big boys behave!"


  • xxLukesMamaxx
    July 9, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    Thank you, I will try it! 

  • quietmomma
    July 9, 2011 at 4:49 PM

     wow.....good advice.

    Quoting lovinangels:

    When he is CALM, explain to him that his fits are the most amazing thing you've ever seen, that he throws simply the best fits around, and such fits deserve a special place. 

    Make this a place where you can not see him, but is as safe as possible.  This will be his tantrum place. He must go here whenever he does this. If you are out, his tantrum place will be his seat in the car.

    Ignore him while he tantrums in his tantrum place. (this will suck, but the fits will be shorter each time when they aren't rewarded with attention.)Then go ahead and really make a HUGE FUSS about when he behaves the way you want him to. " I LOVE how you are doing X, that's just how big boys behave!"


     

  • LuLu5J
    by LuLu5J
    July 9, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    I usually ignored mine when they did it.  I explained to them that while they were acting this way I would not talk to them or listen to them because that was not the correct way to act.  If we were at home my dh and I would leave them alone in whatever room they were having the tantrum and find something else to do in another room.  

    If we were out grocery shopping or at a store and they had tantrums I would walk away from them.  Sometimes they would throw themselves on the floor and I would leave them there and pretty I was completely gone (I would just go around the other aisle and keep an eye on them).  And if they wanted something and started a tantrum because I said no, they would definitely not get the toy/snack they wanted.

    Tantrums are about attention and making a scene, once they realize that you will not allow them to do this and you will ignore them instead, the fits will stop.  What you do need to remember is that others will stare at you and your child because of the scene he's making but you need to ignore that and focus on teaching your child the correct way to act.  Don't worry about what other think.

  • steelcrazy
    July 9, 2011 at 6:02 PM

     I agree with the ignore it because it is your child's ploy to get attention.  I would walk away from mine when they had a fit at home, I'd go to another room and not even comment on the fit.  If we were out in public, I'd pick them up and calmly walk to the car where I'd deposit them in their seat.  I wouldn't say a thing to them while walking to the car or while they had the fit in the car.

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