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BluDog
What do you think? Morals v. money.
by BluDog
September 30, 2013 at 6:01 PM
We are in the middle of a custody mess. We need to change the wording of our current custody agreement so that the co states dh is domiciliary parent so that sd can stay enrolled at our local school. (Last year bm agreed to change custody so we applied for sd. Upon acceptance bm refused. Now school is insisting it change or ad will be kicked out.) Bm agrees to make dh domiciliary but wants dh to continue paying cs. Sd goes to school in our district and is at our house about 60-75% of the time. Should we just go along with her demands and persue a modification at another time?

Replies

  • faerie75
    September 30, 2013 at 6:05 PM
    Fuck no. I wouldn't be cool w paying her greedy ass when she has so little custody.
  • Birdseed
    September 30, 2013 at 6:07 PM

    The CO and the CS may not be tied together in that way to begin with. 

    Even if your DH "agreed" to pay X CS, if he filed for a modification of CS, they'd be looking at the CO.

    Need to talk to an attorney about how to proceed.

  • Birdseed
    September 30, 2013 at 6:09 PM


    Having 40% of overnights is not "so little"--it's a lot more than most NCPs have.  Lots of people even in a 50/50 pay CS.  We always did.  It's not just about time, it's also about finances.  

    Quoting faerie75:

    Fuck no. I wouldn't be cool w paying her greedy ass when she has so little custody.



  • BluDog
    by BluDog
    September 30, 2013 at 6:12 PM


    Right now we have a 50/50 agreement and still have to pay cs...despite the fact that we have her so much. Go figure. 

    Quoting Birdseed:


    Having 40% of overnights is not "so little"--it's a lot more than most NCPs have.  Lots of people even in a 50/50 pay CS.  We always did.  It's not just about time, it's also about finances.  

    Quoting faerie75:

    Fuck no. I wouldn't be cool w paying her greedy ass when she has so little custody.





  • pepper504
    September 30, 2013 at 6:13 PM

    Get the modification done and then go back and get CS changed. 

  • BluDog
    by BluDog
    September 30, 2013 at 6:14 PM


    The reason we even have to change all this is because bm went to school trying to get dh's name off the school contact list...what kind of crazy is that?! 

    Quoting faerie75:

    Fuck no. I wouldn't be cool w paying her greedy ass when she has so little custody.



  • faerie75
    September 30, 2013 at 6:14 PM
    In my situation, I wouldn't be cool with it.

    Quoting Birdseed:


    Having 40% of overnights is not "so little"--it's a lot more than most NCPs have.  Lots of people even in a 50/50 pay CS.  We always did.  It's not just about time, it's also about finances.  


    Quoting faerie75:

    Fuck no. I wouldn't be cool w paying her greedy ass when she has so little custody.




  • pepper504
    September 30, 2013 at 6:14 PM

    Ex and I have 50/50 with no CS awarded.  We split everything 50/50. 

    Quoting Birdseed:


    Having 40% of overnights is not "so little"--it's a lot more than most NCPs have.  Lots of people even in a 50/50 pay CS.  We always did.  It's not just about time, it's also about finances.  

    Quoting faerie75:

    Fuck no. I wouldn't be cool w paying her greedy ass when she has so little custody.




  • Birdseed
    September 30, 2013 at 6:19 PM



    Quoting faerie75:

    In my situation, I wouldn't be cool with it.


    Maybe not, but if that's how the law works in your state, that's what you deal with.

    The idea of CS is to equalize things between homes.  If there is a major difference in income between the two homes, you typically end up paying CS regardless of how much the kids are with you or how much of the "extra" stuff you're paying for.


  • Tinkerbellmama
    September 30, 2013 at 6:29 PM

    I always find it interesting when the CP has to pay the NCP CS. In our state the NCP is the paying parent and the CP is the parent who receives CS. The end.


    Quoting Birdseed:



    Quoting faerie75:

    In my situation, I wouldn't be cool with it.


    Maybe not, but if that's how the law works in your state, that's what you deal with.

    The idea of CS is to equalize things between homes.  If there is a major difference in income between the two homes, you typically end up paying CS regardless of how much the kids are with you or how much of the "extra" stuff you're paying for.




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