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MommySabs
Was trying to be nice- unintentional overstep?
June 17, 2013 at 10:26 AM
Locally we have a pro-football player that hosts a free football camp at the local university. It's a cool thing where he brings pro players and the kids get to work with them and meet them and get free shirts and stuff as well. All three boys (my two and dss). Are signed up. Dh reminded bm that it is coming up (on her Saturday). She asked if she is able to just swing by and drop dss off there. Then we found out that an adult must be present to sign each child in or they won't be allowed in ( reasonable IMO). So dg let her know she woul have to get out and sign him in. I ( through dh I didn't speak to bm). Offered to pick dss up in the morning and bring him Bc I have to bring my boys anyway so no problem I can help her out. Apparently bm was very offended I offered and got angry and told dh to butt out she would handle it, she doesn't need me.

That's fine I'm not offended, I never presumed that she did, I just figured I could lend a hand if I was going anyway and I had brought the boys last year and I know it can take a while to sign in. Unintentional overstep?
She has seemed to be less confrontational lately and I'm worried that by trying to be what to me was just being nice I rocked the boat and now the contention is going to start again.
Crap mommysabs fail!

Replies

  • baparrot2
    June 17, 2013 at 10:29 AM

    Did your DH have anything to say to her when she became offended, angry and told him she didnt need your help? What did he say to her after all that?

  • MommySabs
    June 17, 2013 at 10:33 AM
    He said okay and walked back in the house. He has learned not to engage when she starts to get worked up. He knew there wasn't anything nefarious in my offer and so did dss.
  • baparrot2
    June 17, 2013 at 10:37 AM


    Quoting MommySabs:

    He said okay and walked back in the house. He has learned not to engage when she starts to get worked up. He knew there wasn't anything nefarious in my offer and so did dss.

    My husband would have said, "youre being fucking ridiculous" and then hung up.

  • MommySabs
    June 17, 2013 at 10:42 AM
    She was in her car, in front of our house. It would have become an all out screamfest lol. I think those are the exact words he used to describe her actions after he walked away.
    Honestly those are probably the exact words her boyfriend used if she went home bitching about it- let him fight with her :)


    Quoting baparrot2:


    Quoting MommySabs:

    He said okay and walked back in the house. He has learned not to engage when she starts to get worked up. He knew there wasn't anything nefarious in my offer and so did dss.

    My husband would have said, "youre being fucking ridiculous" and then hung up.


  • faerie75
    June 17, 2013 at 10:46 AM
    I don't think so. I think she is just looking for offense. I'd leave it alone and would r feel bad at all. That's her problem.
  • lnr187
    by lnr187
    June 17, 2013 at 12:21 PM

     if she's getting a offended by something so small like that, im thinking there's something else going on. there is no reason for her to be offended by you offering to give the kid a ride!

  • MommySabs
    June 17, 2013 at 12:53 PM
    I have my theories based on recent behavior but no 'proof' so to speak. There is an immaturity there that we choose not to entertain, so whatever. I definitely did not intend to offend, it seemed like she was having to juggle to get there, and it appears that for at least part of the week they were down to only one car, and I was already going so I offered.


    Quoting lnr187:

     if she's getting a offended by something so small like that, im thinking there's something else going on. there is no reason for her to be offended by you offering to give the kid a ride!


  • Leigh84
    by Leigh84
    June 17, 2013 at 1:17 PM
    I don't think you over stepped. She just wanted to drop your SS off and an adult needed to be there. You said you would be there anyway w/your kids and you offered to do her a favor. She's the one w/the problem not you.
  • aeELE
    by aeELE
    June 17, 2013 at 1:35 PM
    I was thinking this too when I read it.
    But then, sometimes a person having a bad day can take anything and make it a personal attack. And with the immaturity you mentioned, a "me mentality" can exacerbate the desire to make something, meant to be helpful or even just coincidental, about them.

    From our experience, that sort of thing tends to blow over if ignored, where as engaging or attempting to explain invites drama. I hope it's the same for you, and also that all the kids have fun at football camp- it sounds pretty cool.


    Quoting lnr187:

     if she's getting a offended by something so small like that, im thinking there's something else going on. there is no reason for her to be offended by you offering to give the kid a ride!


  • saywhat2102
    June 17, 2013 at 1:43 PM
    Sounds like she's on the rag. :-/

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