Stepmom Central

Is it over, in limbo.or is there more to come. Very nervous.
May 26, 2013 at 9:36 AM

The past year has been an atrocious whirlwind. Dh and I have been through so much. Without writing out every single incident and detail bc ill be writing for days, literally, OPs have put us through so much, mentally, financially and every other way you can think of. Things started amicably on both sides, but shit really hit the fan when our baby came along. Not even when I was pregnant, but RIGHT AFTER dd1 was born. From BM: lies about CS which finally just got straightened out;  lies about me and abuse which the court finally found out was lies and she was ordered by the court to stop but not after the kids were put through the trauma of being evaluated by court lawyers/ psychologists; lies about the health of both sds which was straightened out and found out in court; harassment charges on me, resulting in cops being involved and finding out it was all fabricated; BM stalking my daughter online and resulting in me having to call the cops and them having to pay her a visit; and All BM tried to do to turn the kids and DHs family against us. On my end, exdh deciding he won't pay CS, trying to take them off the med insurance, countless couft dates for neglect; changing visitation bc his home was declared a hoarder house and child services getting involved; telling the kids they don't have to listen to us and an upcoming court date to have the whole thing revisited. Thousands of dollars on lawyers, missed days of work, fights, financial struggles, on and on, now there's not so much as a peep from either side. Like I said, I do have a Cory date coming up with ex and he has been paying CS on time for 2 weeks and just mailed me  years supply of asthma meds for dd4 after holding them pretty much hostAge for 3 months. I know he's just trying to look good for the upcoming cou date, but no matter what, the paper trail won't lie. I'm absolutely exhausted And Idk how to pick up the pieces from here. My marriage is severely strained and my relationship with sds isn't terrible but it isn't what it used to be. Same with DHs relationship with my DDs. I don't want to pretend everything is ok bc I know it's not. I know bc sds told us last week that bad mouthing of us is still going on. Should we go to therapy as a family?  It's pretty quiet on both fronts but I don't want to fool myself. I feel like I'm standing here, staring at the pieces of our family. Now what? Part of me feels like walking away but I don't want to.  I love dh and I don't want to let my family go. But idk how to move on and start healing. 


  • chasinrainbows
    May 26, 2013 at 10:11 AM
    I think counseling for the whole family is the first step. We have a similar situation here but not as extreme. We get it from both sides as well. It's bad enough to have one PITA ex to deal with but much worse to have 2 plus a step-parent.

    Sounds like you all have been through quite a bit though and counseling is an excellent place to start.
  • ejsmom4604
    May 26, 2013 at 1:23 PM

    Family and individual counseling should be done. 

  • peaceflower04
    May 26, 2013 at 6:34 PM

    First of all, I'm so sorry to hear you and your loved ones being put through this hell. I have lived this for many, many years. This sounds like "malicious mom syndrome". Once again BM's way of making your life a living hell because your DH moved on with his life...and chose to without BM! This is his punishment and yours. I know, been there, done that and still doing it...20 years later. It's sad. I will tell you to DOCUMENT everything. Start a journal. Every incident, write down the time of day, etc. Be specific. Everyone in this situation needs therapy. The sad part is this will take a toll mentally and physically on all of you. Take a night out for reduces stress..maybe bowling or something everyone enjoys that you can interact in postiive way. I hope things get better. Good luck to you. 

  • tazlover01
    May 26, 2013 at 6:48 PM

    I'm sorry this is such a mess for you. We're at the either the last leg of the race or the top of the roller coaster with our battle. We're planning on getting SS's therapy and DH  I have met with our Pastor. Start therapy, it'll help a lot, sometimes you don't know what the problems are until you start on one topic & end up some where else. Don't give up now you've stuck it out this long go ahead and be happy.

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