Stepmom Central

Featured Posts
Tryshx
So, This was strange and made me uneasy a bit.... (kinda long explained what happened in court in Dec, and then what followed in Jan...)
by Tryshx
March 4, 2013 at 4:54 PM

As most of you know we were going through a custody battle with BM after they decided to drop any past due CS since he was legally the sole provider for SS... Well in Dec. the judge decided he wanted to see if SS behaved any differently or performed better in school living with BM (his behavior was actually worse while he was with her, in the office every other day in kindergarten)... We surrendered SS to her on Dec. 26th, on Dec. 31st we had to go to her town to check on SS (we'd gotten some disturbing and truthful phone calls and the police refused to do a well person check for us) and we stayed for just under 2 weeks and SS was with us the entire time, then when our scheduled visitation was coming up BM actually called and told us we had to pull SS out of school for the whole week and pick him up that monday night (we weren't supposed to get him until late thursday evening), so in total she physically had her son 2 weeks before she called DH and signed physical custody back over to him saying she couldn't handle him and that she was going through too much to take care of him, so we picked him up Jan. 30th, and we have a partially written mostly verbal agreements about visitations and phone calls now (we're completely off the CO but can't get back into court until April)




BM and I do not get along, we knew of each other before I ever got with my DH but we'd never been officially introduced until after but she was hateful to me from day one (before I had anything to do with her child so it had nothing to do with that, she actually treats most people like that and most people think she's joking around or something). In general, she's not a nice person, and I don't have to put up with it. Until our last court date I actually hadn't spoken to her in something like 5 or 6 months, iF DH wasn't there to answer the phone it didn't get answered and he'd call her back when he got home. But she went into court saying that all her and I do is fight and blah blah blah (I've only told her she needed to stop talking to me the way she was once because it was far worse than normal and I did it as civilly as I could, but other than that I was just taking her shit before, but I don't know who she'd been fighting with because, like I said, I hadn't even spoken to her in months)... Well in Dec. the judge actually put it in the court order that I HAD to answer the phone and speak to her (which I thought was crap, because I don't understand how I am legally obligated to her in anyway as long as I don't put SS in any danger and he's taken care of when under my supervision, all talk should be through DH and BM and they need to grow up and stop fighting)... Well, that's the background about what's been going on so here's the weird thing. She made us promise that we'd allow visits and phone calls (which we've never denied)




She had one visit on the 15th of Jan... and we hadn't heard from her since, so I pulled SS aside and told him we were going to call her instead of having him wait for a call that's not coming, she'd changed her number and not told us about it. I had to get a hold of her on facebook so that her son could talk to her (DH's phone's out of minutes and he's not allowed to touch my phone anymore because he keeps messing with my program files and I'm afraid he'll break it), but (And this is the part that freaked me out) when SS called she talked to him for like 2 seconds and then wanted to talk to ME on the phone for a freaking hour about her boyfriend and her job and just generally how you would talk to one of your close friends...


This woman hasn't been civil to me ever, and yesterday I actually had to tell her 5 times that we were running late for a birthday party and needed to get off the phone. It made me uneasy like she was trying to get my guard down or something, maybe I'm just uber suspicious because everything is so weird right now, just needed to get it off my chest, feel free to tell me if you believe she's trying to change or whatever, but honestly, I don't trust her as far as I can throw her, and she's never been civil let alone wanting to carry on a conversation like we're best friends... Do I just act like this is normal or just stay the same and just be civil as always? IDK, everything is all caddywompus right now, maybe I read too much into it, anyways thanks for listening!

Replies

  • GlockMom
    March 4, 2013 at 4:58 PM

    Can't read that.  The font is too small and there are no paragraphs.

  • Tryshx
    by Tryshx
    March 4, 2013 at 5:01 PM

    Generally this is my font, but I've been having issues with posting new topics (the replies work fine) and I did put paragraphs (hit enter twice each time) and they didn't show up... I've not been on CM much lately and took it for granted that had been happeneing to more than just me. I apologize let me try to edit it.

    Quoting GlockMom:

    Can't read that.  The font is too small and there are no paragraphs.


  • Tryshx
    by Tryshx
    March 4, 2013 at 5:06 PM

    I fixed it.  I have my profile set so that I don't have to do my font everytime, but in the last week since I've been back on CM the new post text boxes aren't even giving me the font changing options.  Hope that made it easier to read

    Quoting GlockMom:

    Can't read that.  The font is too small and there are no paragraphs.


  • laughnchica
    March 4, 2013 at 5:24 PM

    I wouldn't talk to her. As in if she starts talking to you about anything other than SS, politely say bye. BM has gone thru periodically nice-ish phases and I try to go along with it and it ALWAYS backfires. Just don't do it until it becomes something that never changes..

  • Tryshx
    by Tryshx
    March 4, 2013 at 5:41 PM

    I thought I was just going to be giving her the school update (he's doing so well btw in the last 9 days he got 8 purple, meaning no problems, and the one day he didn't get purple he got yellow, which is still better than red) because she promised to buy him the movie Brave if he did well in school...

    Quoting laughnchica:

    I wouldn't talk to her. As in if she starts talking to you about anything other than SS, politely say bye. BM has gone thru periodically nice-ish phases and I try to go along with it and it ALWAYS backfires. Just don't do it until it becomes something that never changes..

  • faerie75
    March 4, 2013 at 6:00 PM

     i would just be civil but dont tell her SHIT. thats how i treat BM cuz i dont trust her either.but i dont ahve to deal w her at all. no CO says i have to. i am poplite when i have to deal w her. thats all.

  • laughnchica
    March 4, 2013 at 6:16 PM

    So I would just given her the updates and all the awesome stuff he did and then "BBBBYYYYYYEEEE" lol. It is whatever you are most comfortable and what you want to deal with ultimately

    Quoting Tryshx:

    I thought I was just going to be giving her the school update (he's doing so well btw in the last 9 days he got 8 purple, meaning no problems, and the one day he didn't get purple he got yellow, which is still better than red) because she promised to buy him the movie Brave if he did well in school...

    Quoting laughnchica:

    I wouldn't talk to her. As in if she starts talking to you about anything other than SS, politely say bye. BM has gone thru periodically nice-ish phases and I try to go along with it and it ALWAYS backfires. Just don't do it until it becomes something that never changes..


  • sid1083
    by sid1083
    March 4, 2013 at 6:27 PM

    Stay the same & be civil. Though I'm not quite sure why you let her keep talking for over an hour.

  • KarmaBusDriver
    March 4, 2013 at 6:34 PM

    Quite honestly, you can't change HER behavior, so change yours.

    Tell DH that he needs to communicate with the other parent from now on relating to matters to their child, (as it should have been in the first place) and stop taking her phone calls. You are not obligated to speak with her. Then you don't have to guess anymore as to her motives.

  • LittleChitlins3
    March 4, 2013 at 6:39 PM
    I would hire my own lawyer to get that part changed of having to talk to her. I don't see how a custody order can make others do something without their consent especially if you are not family. She sounds like DH's ex, she wants to chit chat but any chance she gets she attacks him.

Stepmom Central

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts