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HotMamaRosie
Phone calls question.
March 4, 2013 at 4:52 AM

When sks call to say good nite to DH, do u say good nite to them, too? Do your bio kids say good nite? This started with us when sks started to ask for me and their siblings. Likewise when my dd's are with my ex, they say good nite to DH, and dd14 and dd11 txt frequently throughout the week.  Recently, sd11 started calling me in the mornings, every morning, when she's already at school just to chit chat buz she was bored and it's now an everyday thing. Bm seemed to have no problem with it, until I had the baby.  Now she hovers over every conversation she can. We can still talk freely in the mornings about stuff, silly stuff really, we just talk about a you tube video she wants me to see, her crush, what the teacher did to annoy her. And she tells me what DH says about the same situation.  I also get to talk to sd7 and we goof off. But last nite, she wouldn't talk to anyone bc bm was hovering.  When they are here, I ask them to go to their room to have conversations with bm. They need their privacy.  DH and I do the same with my ex. He hovers, too, btw. Bm is just worse. Anyone have any advice? 

Replies

  • LyndaLoo78
    March 4, 2013 at 7:06 AM

    I suggest for your peace of mind you recognize you cannot control what BM does or how she behaves, and make this a non issue.

  • Pero2
    by Pero2
    March 4, 2013 at 7:31 AM
    BF and I initially had an unlimited calls policy .... it worked for a few weeks, until he had everybody speak to DD when he called ... SM, her two kids, grandma, the dog .... On several occasions, the calls lasted more than one hour ... I came home at 7pm that night, and no homework done. So calls were then restricted by CO (fixed time slots + BPs only). A few years later, DD discovered skyping. I didn't mind her skyping her stepsisters at BF's house, until - one night - I asked her to finish the call to have dinner and then call back. Within 2 minutes, the stepsisters called again ... DD told them she was having dinner, she'd call back ... 2 minutes later repeated calls .... BF and SM were in the background the entire time, they knew what was going on. So contact with her stepsisters was banned, no more skying until they learn phone manners. In my opinion, daily phone calls with all and sundry are very disruptive. I don't speak to DD more than twice a week when she is with BF, my DF doesn't speak to her at all ... we are still alive and have a great relationship.
  • leegirl_jm
    March 4, 2013 at 8:26 AM

    DH talks to SS in private,initially, DH would have SS talk to DD and DS also but after an incident involving BM, I no longer permit telephone conversations between SS and my children.

  • Birdseed
    March 4, 2013 at 9:04 AM

    DH talks to the kids each day and if I'm around, I usually say hello/goodbye, but unless there's some serious news (like hearing about how the very first middle school dance went on Friday!) I don't make a point of being present for every call.  Mostly we face time.  As such, it's easy to pop in and out of the conversation.

    It's also easy for BM to see/hear anything that's being discussed and she will often participate in the conversation as well unless the kids are up in their rooms.

    It's really not a big deal either way.

    I don't chit chat with the kids privately much.  Usually it's something special like "good luck on your game today" or "happy birthday" or "don't forget to bring my pants back."  LOL  Else, they call me when they're sick or if they've hurt themselves.  

    It really hasn't been an issue at our house for the most part.

    The only time phone calls were problematic was when we were on vacation a few years ago and Mom kept calling/texting.  But we were out of range during the day most days (at Yellowstone), so when we'd get back in range, the phones were practically exploding with texts and then the kids were busy responding--not looking at all of the sights and wildlife. 

  • packermomof2
    March 4, 2013 at 10:13 AM

    Why is the kid calling you from school every morning?

  • Tigress22304
    March 4, 2013 at 11:53 AM


    Quoting packermomof2:

    Why is the kid calling you from school every morning?

    I can't speak for OP-but my sister called me from school in the morning-kids would arrive between 7-730am-classes didnt start til 745-until classes start-the kids would congregate in the cafeteria. Most schools are like that.

  • faerie75
    March 4, 2013 at 11:56 AM

     nothing really. just understand that mom hovering makes sd feel awkward so let it go and talk to her int he morning.

  • Tryshx
    by Tryshx
    March 4, 2013 at 4:00 PM

    SS is 5 and all of his phone conversations take place right next to us on speaker phone (not just with BM but with his Papa and everyone else too). 


    There's nothing you can do to change how she runs her home and what privacy she's allotted her children, her reasons may be unknown, or unfounded, but it's still her house, her rules.


    I wouldn't let it bother me honestly, unless I had something to hide from BM.

  • HotMamaRosie
    March 4, 2013 at 9:24 PM


    Quoting packermomof2:

    Why is the kid calling you from school every morning?

    She stands on line waiting for the teacher to pick up and she sd she gets bored. She may miss one morning here or there when a friend comes earlier or she says she's immersed in a game or something. It's something that kind of crept up on me bc she called one day out of the blue and was like "I hope I'm not bothering you" and I told her she wasn't. Then it was like increasing. Now it's mostly every morning. 

  • HotMamaRosie
    March 4, 2013 at 9:26 PM


    Quoting Tryshx:

    SS is 5 and all of his phone conversations take place right next to us on speaker phone (not just with BM but with his Papa and everyone else too). 


    There's nothing you can do to change how she runs her home and what privacy she's allotted her children, her reasons may be unknown, or unfounded, but it's still her house, her rules.


    I wouldn't let it bother me honestly, unless I had something to hide from BM.

    Can I ask why.. I send dd4 to her room when my ex calls that way she can talk privately. Though she talks so loud I hear the convo anyway. 

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