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tiredmama42
We are told to "give up" . *Updated)
February 18, 2013 at 10:34 AM

Updated:  Courts open today.  There is no papers submitted and they said its "Parental Kiddnapping"   and get a attorney.   After 5 police stations not doing anything.. where do you start.?  What a nightmare.

I have posted a couple of times about SD who just turned 17.    Before Anyone says anything about her right to "choose" where she wants to live.   Again.. not in the state with the court we deal with.  They changed their laws because of kids going back and forth.       Their laws state that change cannot take place as long as child support is exchanged.    Well when we got custody DH never requested CS.  (loop hole?)

Our situatution SD begged to live with us.  BM was never around, didnt take care of kids etc.  We did what SD wanted.. we paid the court costs then school costs to transfer (that state also charges school fees), paid probation costs (smoking pot) to get her out of the state.

So after getting custody BM didnt have time for her.  Picked her up a couple times but dropped her off at friends, sisters boys etc.    I have sat with this child crying over her mom never seeing her when she goes to visit .. BM always had a new flame and didnt have time for her.   Said this before.. no birthday gifts, no christmas gifts  but BM picked her up at 8pm on Christmas and took her back dropping her with sisters and leaving.      So we found out SD spent the night at a boys.  DH took her phone, grounded her. 

BM was sneaking up while we were gone and was going to take her.   OSD (21) got involved and told BM she cant do that.   SD spent the last weekend in that state with the 21 year old and the BM come and took her.   (dropped her at the boys house)

This past weekend we let SD go to a concert with a friend from school and the father.   Never came home.  When DH texted SD the BM texted from her phone saying she was with her.  Come to find out a boy picked her up from the concert and shes been with him ever since.  BM just covering for her.  We called police both states.. take up with the court.   They are closed.    BM texted last night saying SD17 not coming back to our state she has custody papers and a restraining order?    OSD says the BM is lying.   We had out state and their state run a check ... nothing.   

BM lives in one city, boy lives in another, sisters in another.  Even if DH tried to find her have no clue where she is.. assuming at BF's.   

Do we wait to see if papers arrive?  Do you try to pick her up??   We dont know what to do.  Now all 3 sisters are saying she is missing and not with the BM.   No one knows where she is except the BM who is at work.

Replies

  • Tigress22304
    February 18, 2013 at 11:39 AM

    If there is a CO-and DH has primary custody-I'd say go to the BM's house and see if SD's there or not.

    Perhaps OSD could help as well.

  • pepper504
    February 18, 2013 at 11:55 AM

    DH has custody, right?  If so, he needs to file a report with the police and go from there.  She's technically kidnapping by not returning the child to the custodial parent.  Or, file a missing person's report since you have NO clue where SD17 is.  She's still a minor. 

    Hugs.

  • tiredmama42
    February 18, 2013 at 12:04 PM

    DH is on his way.  We had already spoke to police stations in both states (courts closed) , sherrif now the police in that sate again.  Depends who you talk too at all these stations about what rights a person has.  He is the custodial parent.  She cant even enroll her in school without papers.  

  • tiredmama42
    February 18, 2013 at 12:08 PM

     Yes he has custody.  Hes on his way to that state now.   The OSD's are all on her case leaving messages on FB trying to call her etc.  They are in the BM's house and havent seen her havent heard from her.. they just know she was in the bottom of OH with the boy last night.

    Thank you.. We have been put through the wringer with these games. 

    Quoting pepper504:

    DH has custody, right?  If so, he needs to file a report with the police and go from there.  She's technically kidnapping by not returning the child to the custodial parent.  Or, file a missing person's report since you have NO clue where SD17 is.  She's still a minor. 

    Hugs.


     

  • Tinkerbellmama
    February 18, 2013 at 12:10 PM

    Report her as a runaway. You don't know where she's at, she's legally a minor.

  • tiredmama42
    February 18, 2013 at 12:48 PM

     

    Thats what her sisters say to do since no one has seen her since Friday.  The bad thing is BM keeps lying to everyone saying she is with her.   This is a perfect case of a BM not acting in the best intrest of her child only doing this try to get the upper hand with DH.   Really is sickening.  


     

    Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

    Report her as a runaway. You don't know where she's at, she's legally a minor.


     

  • CodeBlue
    February 18, 2013 at 12:54 PM
    So BM keeps lying. So what? If she's reported as a runaway the cops will go over to BMs and see for themselves if she's there or not. So why hasn't your husband done this? He has no idea where she's been since FRIDAY?! Seriously??


    Quoting tiredmama42:

     


    Thats what her sisters say to do since no one has seen her since Friday.  The bad thing is BM keeps lying to everyone saying she is with her.   This is a perfect case of a BM not acting in the best intrest of her child only doing this try to get the upper hand with DH.   Really is sickening.  



     


    Quoting Tinkerbellmama:


    Report her as a runaway. You don't know where she's at, she's legally a minor.




     


  • tiredmama42
    February 18, 2013 at 1:09 PM

     I think I wrote all that in the post.     The BM told us she was with her Friday night.  We contacted 3 different police agencies.  OSD's tell us today that no one has seen her since Friday and she is with a boy.  We have tried to make reports.


     

    Quoting CodeBlue:

    So BM keeps lying. So what? If she's reported as a runaway the cops will go over to BMs and see for themselves if she's there or not. So why hasn't your husband done this? He has no idea where she's been since FRIDAY?! Seriously??


    Quoting tiredmama42:

     


    Thats what her sisters say to do since no one has seen her since Friday.  The bad thing is BM keeps lying to everyone saying she is with her.   This is a perfect case of a BM not acting in the best intrest of her child only doing this try to get the upper hand with DH.   Really is sickening.  



     


    Quoting Tinkerbellmama:


    Report her as a runaway. You don't know where she's at, she's legally a minor.


     


     



     

  • andie646c
    February 18, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    BUMP!

  • 1SpaZZedMom
    February 18, 2013 at 1:39 PM

     DH has custody and no one knows where she is? Kidnapping on the boy if he's over 18? Withholding information on a minor charges on BM for breaking the CO? Report as a runaway?

    Glad DH is on his way to try and find her. I think that some deep therapy for running away is needed, along with the pathological lying and such. I know that it's been a messy stich all the way for ya.

    Honestly, IMO, all SD is doing is what she's witnessed until living with you guys. It is part of the social learning theory. (studying social theories in criminology...) I hope that things work out. I feel for ya S-mama! *hugs*

    BTW - I've missed ya!

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