Stepmom Central

justcallmetired
Updated... DH over night at BM house
February 7, 2013 at 2:13 AM
So my DH calls me today to say he is going over to the skids house to hang out because his ex has to work and the 10 yo sd is sick. He says he's going to be there late and then tells me how early he has to be up for work. I didn't put 2 and 2 together but at this hour I am assuming he was trying to tell me he was spending the night. I'm not ok with this! His ex is home around now and it's only a 1/2 hour a away. Talk me down please! I'm tempted to tell humid this happens again I'm out!

UPDATE.... He came home last night, turned out she didn't get home until 11:45. His phone was dead and he didn't get my text even when he plugged it in when he was getting into bed.



Just want to say thank you to everyone for the advice and reassurance that I'm not being over the top. Have a great day!!

Replies

  • Mrs.Kubalabuku
    February 7, 2013 at 2:20 AM

    Do you have reason to suspect anything between him and BM?  Was their split mutual or on good terms?  Is she a good person now?

    Yes, talk to him when you see him.  Try not to accuse or anything.  Just let him know how awful it made you feel and that you are NOT OK with overnight stays.  Then keep communication open.  Hear him out.  If his child was sick and he and BM were both tired and stressed, it might have been safer for him to crash on the couch than to drive.  He might have made a judgement call and in the moment you both failed to understand one another.

  • smurfbitebug
    February 7, 2013 at 2:24 AM
    It's pretty unreasonable to expect to have a relationship with someone and sleep over at other women's houses... no matter who the other woman is. So.. yeah. No matter how "trustworthy" either of them are it is unreasonable and unacceptable, not to mention disrespectful.
    Sorry. I know that isn't really "talking you down".
  • kela22
    by kela22
    February 7, 2013 at 2:32 AM
    Can you contact him now to find out for sure whether or not he's staying there?
  • justcallmetired
    February 7, 2013 at 3:06 AM
    I tried to call him but it goes straight to voicemail .


    Quoting kela22:

    Can you contact him now to find out for sure whether or not he's staying there?

  • smurfbitebug
    February 7, 2013 at 3:07 AM
    Also disrespectful.

    Quoting justcallmetired:

    I tried to call him but it goes straight to voicemail .




    Quoting kela22:

    Can you contact him now to find out for sure whether or not he's staying there?

  • justcallmetired
    February 7, 2013 at 3:07 AM
    Thanks for the honesty :)


    Quoting smurfbitebug:

    It's pretty unreasonable to expect to have a relationship with someone and sleep over at other women's houses... no matter who the other woman is. So.. yeah. No matter how "trustworthy" either of them are it is unreasonable and unacceptable, not to mention disrespectful.

    Sorry. I know that isn't really "talking you down".

  • smurfbitebug
    February 7, 2013 at 3:12 AM
    You're welcome. You deserve as much respect and consideration in this as anyone else. Remember that.

    Quoting justcallmetired:

    Thanks for the honesty :)




    Quoting smurfbitebug:

    It's pretty unreasonable to expect to have a relationship with someone and sleep over at other women's houses... no matter who the other woman is. So.. yeah. No matter how "trustworthy" either of them are it is unreasonable and unacceptable, not to mention disrespectful.


    Sorry. I know that isn't really "talking you down".

  • HotMamaRosie
    February 7, 2013 at 4:08 AM

    Why can't they be at your house?

  • Derdriu
    by Derdriu
    February 7, 2013 at 7:19 AM
    WTF? I can't talk you down because based in his elusive details, the fact that he's only a half hour away, and the turned off phone, I'd assume he slept with BM last night. He couldn't get a hotel? Too tired to drive? I call bullshit on this one.
  • leegirl_jm
    February 7, 2013 at 7:20 AM

    Wow, clearly you two didn't discuss appropriate boundaries before you tied the knot.

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