Stepmom Central

I'm tired
February 1, 2013 at 1:26 PM

It's the same old crap. We do well for a while then I don't know what happens and the skids are coming over and it seems like nothing has happened the two weeks they are at bio moms. Homework still in backpacks, dirty clothes, school work lost, complaints about how they (the kids) don't know what their chores are, but if they don't keep track the other kid gets the other ones  allowance, missing school for no reason, ......chaos.

im just tired of the same crap all the time.

whats worse? SD is now pleading to live with us, says her mom doesn't care or pay any attention to them....and I get to watch and be quiet. Blah blah blah /rant


  • Derdriu
    by Derdriu
    February 1, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    Sometimes kids push boundaries just to make sure an adult is paying attention.  If they're coming back with loads of incomplete and late homework, dirty clothes, accumulating absences at school, and general lack of direction with regard to daily function.... well, maybe SD is being honest.  What is her father doing to remedy these circumstances?

  • ZennMomma
    February 1, 2013 at 8:01 PM

    A year ago He took his ex to court, his lawyer was NO help at all. Judge advised the two of them to have coffee and talk on a regular basis..

    he has sat and talked with her(their mom), emailed her asking if what the kids say is acurate, he communicates with school and SD is in counseling. What usually happens is their mom ends up literally snapping at him, then literally crying that he doesn't care about her.....she even emailed him once when he pointed out that she hurt SD feelings that he no longer cares about her or her feelings and then had her husband email him about how different she is now and he is too controlling and he hurts her feelings all the time and to not ask the kids questions because they don't understand anything....

    he does a lot, unfortunately the courts here are so biased, at least the judge we had is.

  • DDDaysh
    by DDDaysh
    February 1, 2013 at 8:11 PM
    How old are the kids?
  • DDDaysh
    by DDDaysh
    February 1, 2013 at 8:13 PM
    Why are you worried about chores and allowance at BM's house?
  • ZennMomma
    February 1, 2013 at 9:03 PM

    The kids are 13 and 8.

    The chore thing came up because we have a chore chart, very short, clear and simple. With payments marked on there. SD was literally crying and having severe stomach pains over an argument with her mom because their arrangement is that the kids get a certain amount of points per chore, and if they get a certain number of points then they get their 10$/week allowance. If they don't get their points then the other one gets to get the others' allowance that week. I told her, well tough that's their system, what's the problem? SD then tells me they don't provide a way to keep track, they leave it up to the kids, which both of them admitted to fighting about and lying to get the others allowance. When SD complained about not having a way to keep track of points per chore and points in general they threatened her with doing it "your dads way" as a punishment, we don't pay the kids nearly the same, SD said she didn't care, she just wanted a way to keep track.

    its their system, but you have two anxiety riddled kids in a chaotic high stress environment, which Mom admits to and they get dumped more shit on them....ok.

  • lnr187
    by lnr187
    February 1, 2013 at 9:28 PM

     poos kids :( that must be incredibly stressful for them. and it's very hard when the parent's can't communicate effectively. would bm let sd live with you? what's the visitation arrangement right now?

  • ZennMomma
    February 1, 2013 at 10:41 PM

    50/50 two week rotation. No she wouldn't willingly :(

    at least the last time she didn't allow it for too long.

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