Stepmom Central
I guess I think I'm fair when it comes to disciplining my 2 step kids, but my husband thinks I'm going over board. If any stepmoms have advice Please Help!
Replies
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How do you discipline them? Do you have other kids that you are diff to?
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give an example of how you discipline and how he thinks you are going over board
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My husband and I have a 2 yr old boy together. He has full custody of his kids. Tonight as I was dusting pictures I noticed that on a big picture collage of our 2 yr that we got when he was like 3 months old that there was a red pen scribbles all over it! I know that it was our 2 yr, but I also know that he had found that red pen sitting by the computer that was my step daughters pen that I have been telling her to put away so our 2 yr old wouldn't get it and mark things like that. So anyways I told her and my stepson to go down to their rooms and find all their pencils, pens, markers, etc. and throw them away! I have gave them a lot of warnings that if their going to have them in their room thats fine, but keep them up so their little brother wouldn't get them. My husband said that I was in the wrong and better get all the pencils, pens, etc. out of the trash and give them back and apoligize, because its everyones fault even his and mine! So I did
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I would not advise disciplining them more strictly than their parents or if your DH doesn't support it.
Quoting 20below:
I guess I think I'm fair when it comes to disciplining my 2 step kids, but my husband thinks I'm going over board. If any stepmoms have advice Please Help!
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I agree with your husband. Why weren't you watching your 2 year old? That takes quite awhile for a 2 year to find a pen, go to the picture, and color on it. So yes it was partially your fault.
Quoting 20below:
My husband and I have a 2 yr old boy together. He has full custody of his kids. Tonight as I was dusting pictures I noticed that on a big picture collage of our 2 yr that we got when he was like 3 months old that there was a red pen scribbles all over it! I know that it was our 2 yr, but I also know that he had found that red pen sitting by the computer that was my step daughters pen that I have been telling her to put away so our 2 yr old wouldn't get it and mark things like that. So anyways I told her and my stepson to go down to their rooms and find all their pencils, pens, markers, etc. and throw them away! I have gave them a lot of warnings that if their going to have them in their room thats fine, but keep them up so their little brother wouldn't get them. My husband said that I was in the wrong and better get all the pencils, pens, etc. out of the trash and give them back and apoligize, because its everyones fault even his and mine! So I did
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I personally wouldnt discipline my SD. its not my responsibility, its her fathers.
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That's the thing though, my husband and I have agreed long time ago that's is one way we discipline them! If there in the wrong then we take something away! My husband was also worried that now we have to go buy new pencils and pen! Which I told him that all those writing utensils were from last year school supplies that they can't use again at school just at home
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Ok, I do watch him very well! I know that when he is quiet, I go check on him! He his also very smart and can move our kitchen chairs that are higher chairs then normal and reach things! Even though one day a week i'm home with our 2yr old and I am usually cleaning I watch him very good and actually most of the time he is in the same room as me and sometimes helping me clean!
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Quoting 20below:
Ok, I do watch him very well! I know that when he is quiet, I go check on him! He his also very smart and can move our kitchen chairs that are higher chairs then normal and reach things! Even though one day a week i'm home with our 2yr old and I am usually cleaning I watch him very good and actually most of the time he is in the same room as me and sometimes helping me clean!
The point is, your husband is right. It's apparent that the child had a moment alone to get into trouble. That is everyone's faults; you and your husband for allowing it to happen (and I get it, kids are quick and parents can't watch them 24/7), and the older kids for having the pens out. But on the same hand how do you know the pens weren't put up at the time of the incident and the child didn't get into them? You clearly stated he can move chairs to reach things he isn't suppose to.
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My sister used to do stuff like this. She also would manage to punish herself when my nephew did stuff wrong. Made me laugh how she would always say, "If you don't stop. We are going to leave this park and go home." It would be so much easier if she'd just put him in time out but she'd realize she didn't want to go home so she'd just threaten him and the punishment grew. She never followed through either. Cracked me up!
I think you over-reacted but that's easy to fix. Just give yourself an hour or so before deciding what the punishment should be. I think taking away all the pencils and markers for a day or so then deciding that they need to be "checked out" would be a more rewarding lesson. There are times I ask the kids what they think should be the discipline too (just to by time and cool off. )Your husband was right on this one. It's okay. We learn.
Point is---it is easier to start at the bottom and work your way up than to start at the top and work your way down AND you can always stop and think before you act so you don't look like an idiot. :)Quoting 20below:
That's the thing though, my husband and I have agreed long time ago that's is one way we discipline them! If there in the wrong then we take something away! My husband was also worried that now we have to go buy new pencils and pen! Which I told him that all those writing utensils were from last year school supplies that they can't use again at school just at home