Stepmom Central

Pacifier at 9?
by ambie25
December 11, 2012 at 7:21 PM
So, my dh picked ss up from bm the other night, after he was asleep. He walked in and got him and realized he had a pacifier in his mouth. He doesn't use one at our house. He doesn't ask for one, or need one. We didn't even know he used one there. I looked some things up on the subject and noticed a lot about psychological problems being linked. Does anyone else find this odd? I'm the type of mom, aunt, etc that never gave them, so I was just wondering about other moms opinions.


  • Pero1
    by Pero1
    December 12, 2012 at 5:35 AM

    DD had hers until she was about 2.5 years old. One day, it feel into the toilet, and we didn't buy a new one.

    When she was about 7 or so, she was digging in a drawer in my dad's cellar, and found one. For the rest of her stay with them she used it ... once home, she completely forgot about it again.

    I'd try to find out whether this is a regular thing, or whether he just came across one and put it in!

    Oh, I just remembered ... about 2 years or so ago, pacifiers as keyrings were the latest craze with tweens over here. You saw loads of them with pacifiers IN THEIR MOUTHS! It fizzled out eventually.

  • grumpyboston
    December 12, 2012 at 5:50 AM
    He may have sensory issues I know my son does and yes he has a pacifer he only uses it when he feels the need to bit something . Hes 15 not sure about your stepson but I would talk to bm
  • bertaboo1
    December 12, 2012 at 6:29 AM
    That's beautiful

    Quoting rose0919:

    my dd12 got rid of hers at 2 . what we did  was got a balloon(she loves balloons) and tied it to the pacifier and sent it to the babies in heaven.  at 9 there is an issue. if he doesnt need it at your home why would he need it at bms? that is very odd

  • AleaKat
    by AleaKat
    December 12, 2012 at 6:31 AM
    That's insane! I took my kids off around 18 months or so.
  • Amy1973Potts
    December 12, 2012 at 7:44 AM
    At nine? And on the verge of hormonally approaching puberty?

    Lets all think about that.
  • DDDaysh
    by DDDaysh
    December 12, 2012 at 9:39 AM

     lol..  not much different.  Better than picking things up off the sidewalk and chewing on them like my brother did though...  still gross. 

    Quoting SammyJK:

    Im picturin dog chew toys lol


  • tiredmama42
    December 12, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    Thats bad for the teeth.  My kids used them for a short time but they are for babies not 9 year olds.  I guess if your DH and the BM dont think nothing of it I wouldnt trouble yourself with it.  When I met my ex and SS  .. he was still giving him a sippy cup at 6 years old.  I thought it was weird but wasnt my kid.

  • Raspberry393
    December 12, 2012 at 10:40 AM
    Ok, so my SD came to our house with a pacifier and my feeling was she was much too old for it. So I never gave it to her and she never asked for it, but she'd still get it at her bm's house. I did a LOT of research with the intention of showing bf because i thought it was a fight worth picking. Turns out, I was wrong. In fact, it doesn't matter at all. If he's only using it sometimes when he goes to bed it's not even going to impact his teeth.
    This truth really irritated me, because I believed firmly what many have posted here- that it's damaging and wrong. Turns out it's just not societally pleasing. I let it go. When i started thinking about it i know plenty of older kids that chew on the corners of their sleeves, blankets, fingers, etc. It's all a self soothing behavior.... NO BIG DEAL. Save your fight for something that is actually worth it.
  • jento1
    by jento1
    December 14, 2012 at 11:12 PM

    My question is...what else does he do thats babyish and what else does mom do to baby him?  I would have a talk with him and ask him if it was a 1 night thing or if he sleeps with it every night.  I try not to judge but it sounds like mom just doesnt want him to grow up.  Does he sleep in a reg or toddler bed there?  I knew someone that still gave her 6 year old a bottle of chocolate milk to bed because she said he couldnt go to sleep without it.  Do I think its too old?.......yes but in your case, it sounds like mom is keeping him a baby and he is playing right along with it.


  • Jess-Jax0711
    December 16, 2012 at 11:01 PM
    9years old???? Definitely something to worry about if i were you! My baby boy is 19months n got down to using it mostly at bed time sometimes during the day when we out of the house. But he will def b off of it by 2. Good luck talk to ur dh n try to figure it out together.

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