Stepmom Central
He used to be so involved with his kids. Now that he has me to do everything, he doesn't do a thing. And I'm starting to resent it. Like I said, I wish I had known this then so that this didn't happen.
So, what I'm asking is, how do I disengage without dh using the favoritism card?
Replies
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In my exsperience dealing with my ex. As long as you continue to all you have it will never change. My ex always told me he would step in and help, it wasnt until we had a son together that i realized he would never change. I felt i waisted 15 yrs on him. But i learned a very good lesson along the way. This has been responsible for me to change almost everything about me and how i deal with people. Im not saying that would be your solution as I had many more issues with my ex to lead to the break up. This was just one of the issues I had....
good luck :0)
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Tell him you won't do it anymore. They are his kids and his responsibility alone. Not knowing the way is THE most bogus excuse ever since GPS was invented and since it's on most cell phones now, he can easily find it himself OR heck- go old school and call the office for directions.
I would have never gone to the parent teacher meeting to begin with, but you can just tell him no next time. Every time the kids need something that is his legal responsibility to do, tell him it's up to him to make sure it gets done. I mean helping once in a while is fine, but not every. single. thing.
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Honestly, there is more than just this. I just didn't feel like posting it because I'm mobile and it would be really long! Thank you!
Quoting angirose:
In my exsperience dealing with my ex. As long as you continue to all you have it will never change. My ex always told me he would step in and help, it wasnt until we had a son together that i realized he would never change. I felt i waisted 15 yrs on him. But i learned a very good lesson along the way. This has been responsible for me to change almost everything about me and how i deal with people. Im not saying that would be your solution as I had many more issues with my ex to lead to the break up. This was just one of the issues I had....
good luck :0)
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Ikr? Its not at all hard to find. He just doesn't want to take him!
On the conferences, the only reason I went was because I had to go for our son's as well. Otherwise, I wouldn't have.
Quoting opal10161973:
Tell him you won't do it anymore. They are his kids and his responsibility alone. Not knowing the way is THE most bogus excuse ever since GPS was invented and since it's on most cell phones now, he can easily find it himself OR heck- go old school and call the office for directions.
I would have never gone to the parent teacher meeting to begin with, but you can just tell him no next time. Every time the kids need something that is his legal responsibility to do, tell him it's up to him to make sure it gets done. I mean helping once in a while is fine, but not every. single. thing.
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I was there.
get a dry erase board with a monthly calender, put everything on there.... appointments, address, and phone numbers. Color code it for each child.
Then tell him everything you just told us. Tell him he needs to step up. You are his wife not his nanny.
It's hard...very hard, but you can do it.
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Done it and having "issues " because of it, but I'm still not in charge of SD. I'm going to work on building a friendship with SD, not forcing anything. It's difficult to do the kids will feel the distance and either change or make things worse. SD told DH she feels I am mean..this is ongoing thing as she's been in a home that didn't really have expectations. Disengage and kids and DH will appreciate what u did hopefully. Work in progress for me :-/ -
Sorry you're going thru this!