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cailliermommy
Parental Abuse...I feel like I am alone :'(
December 1, 2012 at 11:38 PM

I have been suffering physical abuse from my DSS8 for years now. Its progressively getting worse. Sunday he decided that its time for me to die. He wants to kill me. My DH ended having to call of work for a couple of days while we desperately tried to get help. We finally had him admitted back into the mental hospital here. This is his third stay in 6months. He told the Dr he wants me to die and he will kill me the next chance he gets because I stick him in timeout. He has been physical abusing me for years now, but now its really out of control and I can't hide the bruises, whelps anymore. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I feel alone and cant find a support group for the life of me. Please don't bash me. If anyone knows of any support groups PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

Replies

  • anotherhalf
    December 1, 2012 at 11:41 PM

    I'm so sorry you are going through this.  If you google "parents of abusive children" several sites come up.  It looks like safe4all.org has a forum for parents in your situation.  Good luck.

  • Seychelles1409
    December 2, 2012 at 12:03 AM

    First of all, you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.  You are the victim here and have done nothing wrong and nothing to deserve this abuse.  Secondly, find a counselor that you can talk to for your own peace of mind.  Your DH's insurance may well cover this; if not, your community mental health services has counseling available in your area.  Seek help for yourself.  Third, if and when this child is released from the hospital, he cannot come back into your home.   You are not safe in a home with this child.  Maybe he goes back to his mother, a grandparent, or into a group home setting, or maybe you have to leave, but you cannot stay with that child and risk your life.  Lastly, anyone and I mean anyone who has the nerve to bash you isn't worth listening to.  Good luck to you, my dear.  God bless.  

  • annabl1970
    December 2, 2012 at 12:07 AM
    How 8 years old can abuse grown up woman? Is it typo? You mean DSS18?
  • chanizen
    December 2, 2012 at 7:04 AM

    Time to get some martial arts training.  And stop watching this kid.

  • lnr187
    by lnr187
    December 2, 2012 at 8:05 AM

     this is very good advice. while it may be extremely difficult to be out of your own home, it's a good idea. at least until the child is healthy again. i know a child who, at 8/9 years old, tried to burn the house down bc he was mad at his mother. had he been successful, he could have killed his bm, sf, 3 siblings, aunt, 4 cousins and himself! :(

    Quoting Seychelles1409:

    First of all, you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.  You are the victim here and have done nothing wrong and nothing to deserve this abuse.  Secondly, find a counselor that you can talk to for your own peace of mind.  Your DH's insurance may well cover this; if not, your community mental health services has counseling available in your area.  Seek help for yourself.  Third, if and when this child is released from the hospital, he cannot come back into your home.   You are not safe in a home with this child.  Maybe he goes back to his mother, a grandparent, or into a group home setting, or maybe you have to leave, but you cannot stay with that child and risk your life.  Lastly, anyone and I mean anyone who has the nerve to bash you isn't worth listening to.  Good luck to you, my dear.  God bless.  

     

  • SammyJK
    by SammyJK
    December 2, 2012 at 8:08 AM
    My thoughts too.

    Quoting annabl1970:

    How 8 years old can abuse grown up woman? Is it typo? You mean DSS18?
  • whatIknownow
    December 2, 2012 at 8:24 AM

    I don't think an 8yo child can abuse an adult. "Abuse" is perpetrated by the individual in control. You are the adult, you're supposed to be in control. You say he's been "abusing" you for years? Since he was what, 5 years old? You were the "victim" of a kindergartener? 

    If he is violent with you, you should not be alone with him. You should not be within striking distance. Why are you putting him in time out? Clearly this child has psychological issues and should be under the care of a professional, not in the care of a "victim". 

  • andie646c
    December 2, 2012 at 8:47 AM

    My SS (now 9) showed abusive tndenies. It never extended t our house too badly. At his moms though he supposedy hit her, kicked her, broke things. He dint threaten to kill us but I feare for ou lives. He openly dispises DS and had hit him mutiple times before for no reason other than "I don't like him." I really feared that I would wake up one morning and find that my son had been killed in his sleep.

    It's good that you are getting the child help. He obviously needs it. Don't give him the chance to hurt you anymore. When he comes home, ask his counselors/psychiatrists what you need to do to protect YOURSELF.

  • Refurbished
    December 2, 2012 at 8:47 AM

    I don't think you need a support group -- you need to leave.  That's all that a support group would tell you anyway.  Never, ever stay in any situation where your life is being threatened.

    Are you custodial or noncustodial? 

  • Sunivondea
    December 2, 2012 at 9:17 AM

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