I wish I would have dug deeper in the beginning instead of believing the "fuzzy little lies" SO told me about his divorce, BM, and SS. He made it sound like everything ran smoothly for him and he rarely had issues with BM.
I may not have stuck around if I'd known the whole truth.
once I learned to separate BM actions from the actual step parenting.. I love it. I admit that having a contentious abusive BM has made aspects of step-parenting almost unbearable at times.
But, i love the relationship I have with my StepSons. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow, so I put a lot of energy into it, a lot of conscience thought and sometime struggled through the patience part of letting it grow in their time table.
Would I do it again? Yes.. and Id be much smarter in the beginning about sheilding myself more from BM. But it was well worth it to grow through it.
i sort of see it as a thankless job haha. with your own kids it is also thankless but at least they love you unconditionally (for the most part). step kids arent even required to LIKE you. i am thankful that i have a good relationship with my SO's kids. i will do what i can to make sure it remains so.