Stepmom Central
"SD" doesn't call me mom, we came up with our own nicknames for eachother. For the first time today, I had someone call me "mom" to her. DF and I took her to get her hair cut and DF was reading the newspaper and I was over by "SD" talking to her and instructing the hairdresser on what we wanted done, what needed tweaked a little. When the woman was done she turned "SD" toward me and said "let's see what mom thinks" and "SD" just said "ok". I was a little suprised because I figured "SD" would giggle and be like "that's not my mommyyyy" or something. But she didn't. And I didn't want to be like "Oh, she's not my daughter" or something because what does it matter to this woman, y'know? I'm never going to see her again, who cares if she knows my relationship to "SD" and if "SD" didn't want to mention it I figured why should I? So I didn't correct her or anything. Did I do something wrong by letting that woman believe "SD" was my daughter?
Replies
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No, my stepkids wouldn't correct anyone if they called me mom. It's not a big deal to them.
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Alright, thanks! I'm fairly new at all this stuff lol
Quoting whatIknownow:
No, my stepkids wouldn't correct anyone if they called me mom. It's not a big deal to them.
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I think if it's someone you or mom or sd will never see again then it's not a big deal. If it's someone that you, sd, or mom will see again then yes you should correct. My ex and I used to run in the same circles fregquently so I would often meet people that he and SM already met or knew. There was nothing more annoying than running into them with DS and having them run up pick my kid up and say OHHHH DS hi sweetie where is your mom or dad. Ummmmm the kid is 11 months old his mom is sitting right here and then having to explain that I was in fact his mother and SM was SM please put my kid down stranger that I don't know lol.
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My SS will never address me as mom, unless he is talking to his younger siblings (my bios). However, he will refer to me as mom here and there like if we are out and somebody asks him something he says 'oh I have to ask my mom' or 'These are my parents'. I let him choose what he wants to call me, which he chose my first name and I'm fine with that. I'm not his mom, he has a mom who he is close to and loves. He doesn't live with us and never had so things might be different if we raised him.
My neice calls her Stepdad, daddy b/c they got married when she was 3, and he has raised her since she lives with her mom.
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He has never corrected anyone who said it. He's 4 lol -
No, you didn't do anything wrong at all. It would only matter if it was a teacher or someone you were going to have continued interaction with and it would cause confusion as to who mom is. IMO it would have been more inappropriate to correct her, since she really didn't need to know.
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They don't. BM's own Grandma refers to me as Mom and they say nothing. -
No one's ever called me "Mom" to SSs
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Most people say it is no big deal, but I'm not a fan of lying, even if you won't see the person again. My kids hated when people did that to them regarding their SM and hated when SM said they were her kids. I don't know if they corrected people, but I do they finally asked their father to please tell SM not to refer to them as her kids. When asked why my son said "because we aren't"...
I've had a nephew correct someone when he was with me. I was about to say something but he jumped right in and said "she's my aunt"... no big deal to me, that is who I am to him. Same thing with my best friends kids, I've corrected people. I prefer honesty to excusing myself from not being honest.
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Dss doesn't call me mom nor to I present myself as his mom but sometimes even other parents who know the situation will refer to me as his mom. We just let it go it's not worth explaining or wearing a sandwich board. If the conversation warrants it I will reply working the word stepson into my reply just to clarify.