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lovemyfriend
BM's House
October 8, 2012 at 10:15 PM

OK.  So I have a question.  Say that your sd (age 6 at the time) asks for pictures of her&her family here (which includes me, sm)  for her to keep in her room at her moms house.  If she herself was given about 40 pictures to choose from, and chose one of her and her dad, one of dad and sm (me), one of all of us, and one of just her dad, would it be reasonable to say that she wants those pictures there, they should stay there?  Or does BM have the right to throw them away?  (not give them back, but get rid of them).  

 

I'd just like some perspective and opinions.  Thanks! :) 

Replies

  • bellaamore
    October 10, 2012 at 9:15 AM
    No, she doesnt.
    My dad died with his girlfriend and my stepson wanted a pic of them. It was taken three days before they died. He also got a shirt of my dads. Bm threw them both away.
  • lovemyfriend
    October 10, 2012 at 1:42 PM


    Quoting packermomof2:

     

    Quoting mirm99:

    No it's not reasonable... Bm is being immature imop.. I don't see why it would bother her.. I wouldn't mind my sd keeping a pic of her mom in her bedroom... It's sweet..

    Maybe mom doesn't think it is reasonable for SM to be sending pics of herself to mom's house.  Since it is mom's house she gets to decide what is reasonable in that (plus most other) departments.  I think it is presumptuous of a SM to send photos of her self to the OP's house without prior approval from the parent and owner of the home.  It's also unreasonable.  It's also not the same as mom sending them for her child.  Dad and mom are the same here... mom may be fine with a picture of dad there, but SM isn't dad so it doesn't matter if she sends her picture. 

     

    Just to clarify...

    I didn't send my picture.  She asked her dad, she went through a bunch of pictures in our family folder, and chose it herself.  I had nothing to do with which pictures she chose.  I didn't even know until I got home and he showed me the ones she picked out herself.  Literally dropped them into a little folder called "sd".  So...no, sm is not sending pictures of herself. 

    Also, what do you mean mom gets to decide what is reasonable in her home and 'most other' departments?  Why is dad not as important in 'most other departments'?  Would you mind clarifying what that means?

  • Mommy4000
    October 10, 2012 at 1:45 PM

    Bm has the right to decide what is in her home and what her child has. It sucks that any mother would be so cruel as to deny their child a simple picture, but I'm certain it happens.

  • ShannaBee
    October 10, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    We've given pictures to SS. If BM has thrown them away we are unsure. I think it is ok for the kids to have pics.

  • BMof2SMof2
    October 10, 2012 at 7:37 PM
    SS7 has a photo album at BM2's. SS7 wanted a picture that had DH, me, him, his brother and my dd in it (this was before DS came along) of course I gave it to him. He also has a birth announcement for DS, pictures of DS only, and pictures of SS7, SS14, DD and DS all together on quite a few occasions. He asks, I give. It would be douchey of BM2 to throw them out and if she does I don't know about it but SS7 still gets them if he wants them. Pictures of his other family in his room shouldn't bother BM unless she is juvenile enough not to want to acknowledge he has other family members on BF's side.
  • BMof2SMof2
    October 10, 2012 at 7:44 PM
    DD11 has a very sweet picture of her and her Dad up in her room, along with a pic of her, her Dad and myself all together. DH doesn't give 2 shits. Oh and that same pic of her, her Dad and I is also on display as a 5x7 in our living room in a frame that says Family. For Father's Day BM2 sent DH an old pic of him and SS7 taken on SS7's christening day...it is also on display in our living room.
    Quoting packermomof2:



    Quoting mirm99:

    No it's not reasonable... Bm is being immature imop.. I don't see why it would bother her.. I wouldn't mind my sd keeping a pic of her mom in her bedroom... It's sweet..





    Maybe mom doesn't think it is reasonable for SM to be sending pics of herself to mom's house.  Since it is mom's house she gets to decide what is reasonable in that (plus most other) departments.  I think it is presumptuous of a SM to send photos of her self to the OP's house without prior approval from the parent and owner of the home.  It's also unreasonable.  It's also not the same as mom sending them for her child.  Dad and mom are the same here... mom may be fine with a picture of dad there, but SM isn't dad so it doesn't matter if she sends her picture. 


  • bstepmom
    October 10, 2012 at 9:36 PM

    If my SD asked for, I would not give. It is her BM house, there is not reason for her to have pic of me there or no reason for BM around my house..


  • Coreyhoots
    October 11, 2012 at 9:16 AM
    Same thing happened to us. SD is only 6, my DH have her a picture of him. SD came back upset her bitch mother ripped the picture up and kept the frame. These poor kids!!!

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