ive been in my stepchildrens lives for almost their whole lives.. but only almost 3 years(as daddys partner) they still get visits with ther mom. they like to call me by my name and ahve recently started calling me mom, my husband and i dont encourage this but we do not discourage it either. i quite like it because i know im not thier mom but in my opinion i am the best one they have.. teir mom isnt an active part of their lives.. unfortunately
They call me by my name. But, in my opinion, it shouldn't matter what anyone calls sm. It should be whatever the kids decide, if they're old enough to decide. Most women, including me, have children, usually teenagers, that call their friends mother mom. Noone has a problem with that. Including me. But yet, when their child calls sm mom, its a huge war. Wtf? My oldest calls his best friend (of 8+ years) mother mom. I don't have a problem with that. A few of their friends call me mom. I think its just a respect thing. I have no problems with either side of it. If their dad ever gets a wife, if they decide they want to call her mom, then that's their call. I know who their mother is and so do they. But I'm also the type that believes that if there are people in my children's lives, sf, sm, aunts, uncles, etc, then you'd better treat them like I do. They deserve respect, and they'll give respect, because that's how they were brought up. So, I parent a lot different than a lot of bms. And not because I'm a sm as well. It's always been that way!
It all depends on who they are talking to. At home they call me by my name and every now and then will say mom ( i dont make a big deal) if we are out as a family and DH is introducing us, its My wife (name) and our kids and name them off. At school the boys tell the teacher Im mom on some days and SM on other. Just depends on their mood I guess. But I am the only mom around at this point. BM doenst call or come and see them so I do the mom role. Im fine with whatever they want to call me.