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TheMomOf3-00
Dont think I have ever felt so hurt in my life......**UPDATE**
October 6, 2012 at 1:07 AM

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So on Saturday SS turned the big 19!! Him and DH went out to the local bar together and DH told me he would be having a chat with SS. he explained that him and gf are putting alot of stress on us as a couple and thst it has to stop, he expressed that it caused a fight on Friday and he said things to me he should have never said. SS came home that night and talked to gf, as well as appologized to me for causing the tension, gf has started pitching in around the house, she went and applied for a job at our local tea house (she told us that she has p/t work there helping with events and tidying rooms and doing house keeping when the local bed and breakfast has guests) so we will see how much work she takes and how it works out. Because we live in a small town its tough to get f/t work.

SS has decided that instead of a truck for his birthday a winter jacket would be more suitable. I am EXTREMELY proud of DH, I know it was probably not easy because I can understand why he would feel the need to compensate for the lost years. He has taken my side and has expressed to them both that we are NOT here to support them, we are here to help put a roof over their heads, assist them with getting on their feet out here in Alberta and are here to help build a relationship between father and son, but we are NOT here to be a free ride. Dh said he understands the situation that both SS and gf come from and if they came to us expecting a different lifestyle well they were sadly mistaken, we work on us and the two of them need to do the same.

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So after a few attempts to go for a 1.5 hour drive to pick up my SS and his GF's belongings out of a storage unit I found out tonight that my Saturday was volunteered and expected to go and get the task done, I have 3 of my own children, 2 of which are gone this weekend to their dad until sunday at 5:30pm...after finding out and being harped on to find out what time I was getting up, what time I aws plannin on leaving, what time we think we will get to the storage unit I called it quits, I went to bed where DH was already in bed (I was cleaning the kitchen) when I got to bed I told DH that I wasnt to pleased that I was volunteered to go and do this. He told me if I didnt like it than I guess something is not working and he will not have his son (who is 19 and his gf is 19)  leave because I am to selfish. I asked if he had any idea what I had planned for tomorrow and he said no but obviously its more important and now it looks like you will be house hunting.

I was than told that not only am I to be doing this but I also need to pay $259.00 for this damn storage unit, we have 3 children, all under the age of 8, we live on 1 income, and money is tight, I said if they are getting their things out of storage why do we have to pay for it? He said that SS's gf's MOTHER still has belongings in there and we have to pay it. Am I unreasonable for thinking it is NOT our responsibility to pay for this? Am I unreasonable for NOT wanting to spend an entire Saturday playing taxi driver to 2 ADULTS who dont work, just moved in with us and we have ALREADY given $700 to?? 

I am so upset I can barely type or think, we have been together for 4 years!!! My oldest 2 children are from a prevous relationship he said from day 1 that we are a backaged deal!! I recieve child support for my children and our son is 18 months old!! AM I WRONG HERE!! I am beside myself thinking I may be but I cant figure out HOW>!>!>!>!

Replies

  • TheMomOf3-00
    October 6, 2012 at 1:08 AM

    Oh, and SS's birthday is tomorrow, he wants dad to buy him a truck!!! 

    This is the 1st time he has EVER lived with his dad and the 2nd time he has ever met his dad!!!!

  • kkkaaayyyy
    October 6, 2012 at 1:58 AM

    I don't think you are being selfish, I think everyone around you is being selfish. Sorry I don't have an answer for you. I wish you the best of luck

  • kellynh
    by kellynh
    October 6, 2012 at 2:19 AM
    Your DH needs a reality check. And a swift kick in the ass!!!
  • afwifeandmommy3
    October 6, 2012 at 3:50 AM


    Quoting kellynh:

    Your DH needs a reality check. And a swift kick in the ass!!!
  • Tigress22304
    October 6, 2012 at 5:40 AM
    Why do you have to pay for her mother to store her items?! Tell the girlfriend to pay up or the mother! You're not selfish but your husband is surely being a jackass.
  • whatIknownow
    October 6, 2012 at 6:55 AM

    wait wait wait hold the phone.

    What does "now  it looks like you will be house hunting" mean?

    Is he saying he wants a divorce because you are complaining about being shanghai'd into doing this moving thing for SS? Is that what he is saying???

    If so, you have a much bigger problem. now it's not a question of, is it fair to expect you to drive and pay and whatever for SS. Now the bigger question is, how does he jump straight to "our marriage is over" because of a disagrement over something like this?

    That is emotional abuse. Please tell me I simply read that wrong.

  • chanizen
    October 6, 2012 at 8:05 AM
    I agree with wikn. This is emotional abuse. He is going to divorce you because of a storage unit. He is an ass. Get rid of him before he damages your relationship with your children. Fucker.

    Quoting whatIknownow:

    wait wait wait hold the phone.

    What does "now  it looks like you will be house hunting" mean?

    Is he saying he wants a divorce because you are complaining about being shanghai'd into doing this moving thing for SS? Is that what he is saying???

    If so, you have a much bigger problem. now it's not a question of, is it fair to expect you to drive and pay and whatever for SS. Now the bigger question is, how does he jump straight to "our marriage is over" because of a disagrement over something like this?

    That is emotional abuse. Please tell me I simply read that wrong.


  • november117
    October 6, 2012 at 8:25 AM
    No way in hell would my dh say that to me. I would have said "ok, have fun" packed my stuff up and left. Let him fend for himself. Who provides the one income? You or dh?
  • MrsMama030912
    October 6, 2012 at 10:06 AM
    Whoa sister I wouldn't be going anywhere ! Don't put up with that crap. Your dh was a jackass for saying that to you
  • zannahdeux
    October 6, 2012 at 10:06 AM
    Get a job, any job and leave this selfish prick! You don't support adults

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