Divorce & Starting Over

Finally, a victory for me!
October 4, 2012 at 1:39 PM

Back Story - Feb 2012 me and ex went to court and we agreed on a custody order of me having full physical custody, us both having joint legal custody, and parenting time as we agree. The parenting time that we agreed to was Wed evening through saturday evening, he would have the kids, and saturday evening through Wed evening I would have the kids. We made it as 50/50 as possible.Things were going just fine. 

He started asking for extra time, asking if they could stay Saturday night and bring them home some time Sunday, because there would be a birthday party or family function that he wanted to take the kids to. Because I was always 100% cooperative and agreeable with him with it came to the kids, I allowed it. I didn't want the kids to miss out on time with friends and family.

Then one day he asked me if he could take the kids out of state to visit his girlfriend's family over Thanksgiving break. I said no, I don't have any family here, and I am not spending the whole day of Thanksgiving without my kids. He asks me if there is any way that we can compromise. I said ok, you can take the kids to visit your gf's family but you have to come by a day early so that the kids are at least home for Thanksgiving day. That was not good enough for him, because that is not what he wanted.

A week later I get papers in the mail summoning me back to court. He had filed a petition to modify the custody order saying that he had the kids more than 50% of the time and that he had his own residence. He wanted joint custody with alternating holidays and 2 weeks of uninterrupted parenting time. He also filed for a modification of child support claiming that his expenses have gone up.

We went to court on Sept 6, 2012 for both hearings. The child custody hearing was uneventful, we were just given another date to come back. The child support hearing was bad and the judge granted him the modification for child support. There's a lot more to this but I will have to explain it later or this will go on forever! My child support was reduced by almost $200 a month!

Went back to court on Tuesday to finish the child custody petition. I had a lawyer this time (a public defender) and he filed a motion to dismiss and it was granted by the judge!!! She said that my ex failed to show a significant change in circumstance according to the law for her to grant a modification to the current custody order. She told him that it had only been 6 months since the original order was made and we still follow the same parenting time arrangement that we agreed to. That because he asked for extra time with the kids for family functions and holidays does not mean that there was any change in the agreement, that I was being cooperative and putting the best interest of my children first. She told him that he can't do this just because he "WANTS" it, that it's not the way the law works!

I am so happy and ecstatic about this that I had to share it with you ladies!!!

Sorry it's so long! Apparently I am not able to write a short post lol

Hugs, Brandi


  • GraLauJon
    October 4, 2012 at 1:41 PM

    you rock

  • .3xBlessed.
    October 4, 2012 at 1:48 PM
    I'd really love to hear about the modification of child support, though. I want to file one because we had ours set two years ago when ex wasn't working, and he now makes more than my husband and I combined! $50 a month for two kids just isn't enough.
  • brandi_lou
    October 4, 2012 at 3:09 PM

    Thank you! First of all, wow! $50 a month for 2 kids? That's an insult!! You definitely need to file for a modification and get the money you deserve for those kids!

    In my situation, we had child support set 6 months ago to the amount according to the law and a percentage of his income. His income is twice as much as mine. The judge told him right then that since he had the kids 50% of the time that he could lower the amount. My ex said no, he would pay the full amount. The judge told him then that he could not come back and change it later. But 6 months later, he filed to have it lowered and the same judge granted it and lowered my child support by almost $200 a month. Even though that same judge gave him the chance to lower it before, even thought that same judge told him that he couldn't come back and change it later! And to make matters worse, not only does my ex make twice as much money as me, his live in gf also has a full time job and a part time job, so they have 3 INCOMES and I only have 1. Yet the judge STILL granted HIM a lower child support amount!!

    I still don't understand how that was possible! But it happened, so I am just doing what I gotta do! Atleast he didn't take custody away from me! Lower the child support all you want asshole, I will figure out a way to live without your help, but you aren't taking my kids away from me! Not gonna happen!

    Quoting .3xBlessed.:

    I'd really love to hear about the modification of child support, though. I want to file one because we had ours set two years ago when ex wasn't working, and he now makes more than my husband and I combined! $50 a month for two kids just isn't enough.

  • tottaxi
    by tottaxi
    October 4, 2012 at 5:53 PM

    Maybe now that he has won on the cs, he will be satisfied and stop trying to take the kids.  But, now that you know his agenda, always be very careful and follow your co as closely as possible.  You may have to rethink what is really doing right by the children.  I say this because it seems to me that if he was willing to sink this low this time he will try again.  If he is wanting to have full custody and be CP, he could also be doing some subtle brainwashing of your kids.  Sometimes things are not as uncomplicated as they seem.  And with a new gf in the mix, who knows what he is thinking or what she is hoping for?

  • just4ds10ee
    October 5, 2012 at 9:06 PM

    KOO DOOS to YOU!!!

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