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beeneal
How do you know when enough is enough?
by beeneal
February 6, 2013 at 4:07 PM

Been with my fiance for 6 yrs we have been through it all except divorce, we haven't gotten married yet bc of my fear of this among other things. I am not the person I was when we fel in love and hes not the person I thought he was. I noticed alot of negative characteristics that I dont see changing bc he doesnt see or just wont admit the issues. I think he is who he is and i dont see that changing. He will change some things but for a couple days and I think its only so he dont have to hear my nagging for that time period. Our sex life has dwindled by alot and when we do its not near what it used to be, It really started 19 mths ago when our daughter was born, My body is def diff than what it was but I was never thin as long as we have been together. I understand fat isnt attractive to everyone and hey kudos but u had a part of making my body what it is, it takes 2 to make a baby only 1 has to carry and have that baby, so I think he should be more understanding of my body. I am currently working on a lifestyle program bc I dont want him looking at me the way he does anymore, when i tell him I know my body is the reason we arent intimate like we used to be he says no thats not why or just doesnt say anything at all. There are certain activities we did frequently that we haven't in over a yr. idk if its jus me being dramatic or if this is something to worry about like cheating or if he just is longer attracted to me, but I know this plus alll of the fighting and arguing isnt good for anyone and I dont know what to do anymore theres just so much wrong and so little right that Im just feeling over this, but I just cant actually break up with him. 

Replies

  • bigmama423
    Liz
    February 6, 2013 at 10:13 PM
    I wish I could help, but I can't even help myself!! : /
    Here's a bump for you though, I'm sure someone will have some advice for you.
    Good luck with everything!!
  • hopealways4019
    February 7, 2013 at 5:58 PM
    Well if you can't break up with him? No one can help you
  • momamanda
    February 7, 2013 at 10:48 PM

    All Couple hit a rough spot eccspcially after having kids. Even more so if they did not feel ready to start having kids. Nothing is the same once you starting having kids. If he is making you feel like you are not good enough then he's not really worth sticking around for.

  • KJH78
    by KJH78
    February 7, 2013 at 10:58 PM

    To me it all depends on these characteristics that you don't like and what they are...you mention them but don't really say what they are, but go into more detail on your body differences. Maybe you're preceiving the issue to be something different from what it is. Have you guys had a heart to heart chat on where  you each are at with regards to your relationship??? What I know is if you can fall into love (truly)...even if you lose the spark you can always get it back if you both want that to be the case. What are you fighting about? More information would be helpful to know where you're at, but really at the end of the day if you haven't sat down and had a heart to heart with him I feel like that's step 1. There's no sense in fighting and arguing...two adults can communicate and remain respectful. If you can't then the conversation needs to wait until you can.

  • amonkeymom
    Amy
    February 8, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    This is very true, and kids bring such a new dynamic & dimension to a situation.

    It might be time to consider some sort of couples counseling in order to determine if the issues are something that can be fixed or if the relationship is doomed.

    Good luck.

    Quoting momamanda:

    All Couple hit a rough spot eccspcially after having kids. Even more so if they did not feel ready to start having kids. Nothing is the same once you starting having kids. If he is making you feel like you are not good enough then he's not really worth sticking around for.


  • Kodysmommy928
    February 8, 2013 at 5:36 PM

     If your first sentence you say that you are afraid to marry him because of the issues in your relationship.  That speaks volumes. 

  • Kris_PBG
    February 10, 2013 at 10:39 PM
    Yes.


    Quoting Kodysmommy928:

     If your first sentence you say that you are afraid to marry him because of the issues in your relationship.  That speaks volumes. 


  • Lindalou907
    February 12, 2013 at 5:19 AM

    Nothing will change unless you do something, make an appointment for counseling for instance. If you no longer love him and really don't see any hope then you should move on, I'm sorry.

  • MJP76
    by MJP76
    February 12, 2013 at 6:40 PM

    Sounds like enough is enough a long time ago...

  • Kmakksmom
    February 13, 2013 at 8:21 PM

    Exactly.

    Quoting Kodysmommy928:

     If your first sentence you say that you are afraid to marry him because of the issues in your relationship.  That speaks volumes. 


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