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corrina.s.
i feel like i am the worlds worst mother
January 5, 2013 at 5:12 PM

i have 2 children, 2 and 3 years. when i had my first i have neva felt happier or prouder but i didnt feel the same way with my second, i love him and he was wanted but it just wasnt the same. he is a lovely sweet little boy but he is such hard work, he does things he knows he's not allowed and i have to tell him a hundred time every day, my oldest was never like that, my youngest also still puts everything in his mouth, he is clever and always learing new things, he just hasn't learnt what not to do. i always end up shouting at him because he just doesnt listen to anything, i feel like i want to spend more one on one time with my oldest who is very placid and who i can take anywhere without a worry. even walking past the dog my youngest wil make sure to stand on his tail or paw. i feel so bad because i do love him i just find him very hard work

Replies

  • sashamom27159
    January 5, 2013 at 5:18 PM

    Maybe instead of having one on one time with your oldest maybe try with your little one the extra time might help you realize what you could differently  to keep him occupied.I only have one but my dd is like your second one. 

  • littlemoments99
    January 5, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    My mom has 5 kids (including me)  When it was just me and my sister she said her life was so easy. Then she had my brother and he has ADHD and some type of social problem. He has friends but likes to be alone. He is hard to describe. Super smart kid. He memorized all of our presidents and their vice presidents by the time he was 3. He knows at least 5 things about every war the U.S. has ever been in, little or big. He was the hardest kid to handle when he was little. My mom had to sit on him to get him to calm down. He would throw huge fits if he didn't get his way. He once got so mad he tried throwing a chair at me and my sister. Now he would never do that. He is pretty calm even when he gets mad, but he is also 16, not 4. 

    So, my point is, just be patient. Try your best. Kids can be hard and all of them are different. My brother sure didn't take after me and my sister and even my sister was more difficult than I was as kids. I would try spending some one on one time with both kids. Have a mom and me time once a week for each kid. That will make them feel special. Even if it's just going to the park for an hour, getting ice cream and talking for 20 min. Something. Sometimes kids act naughty if they feel like they are not getting enough attention. It's not because you are a bad mom. Being a mom is hard and it's something we can't be trained for, no matter how much babysitting you do.   :)

    Don't feel like a bad mom. If you are trying, then you are doing a great job. Good luck!! 

  • Webb6912
    January 5, 2013 at 9:54 PM

    You are not a bad Mom. I have one child 7 months old and due with #2 in August. These are my fears but I am sure everything will work out. 

    From what I hear every child is different and has their own personality. I am sure it is difficult but look to the positive and make the best out of your blessings. 

  • Ilaynasmommy
    January 6, 2013 at 2:02 AM
    I'm the same.


    Also I've heard a lot of ppl say if they had their last first they wouldn't of had any more. Maybe its BC the first gets more quality time to be taught.


    Quoting Webb6912:

    You are not a bad Mom. I have one child 7 months old and due with #2 in August. These are my fears but I am sure everything will work out. 

    From what I hear every child is different and has their own personality. I am sure it is difficult but look to the positive and make the best out of your blessings. 


  • lovekitchenmama
    January 6, 2013 at 2:17 AM

    sometimes instead of kids trying to get your attention in a good way, they do it in a negative way. this is called negative attention. Sometimes kids just need something to do too. Your not a bad parent, i know my niece and nephew who decided to open their presents at christmas just this last yr when their mother was sleeping and "santa" wrote them a note saying they don't get any presents this yr, so when they read it, apparently they didnt care. On top of that, they do so much stuff that is naughty and that was one example. My other sister's BF's kids are horrible too, they played slip and slide on a bottle of 409 but this is all because they just need something to do and the only way they can get any attention is to do something naughty.

    I also know how you feel though, my 2nd son was always very active..running ahead of us into stores and into parking lots, we didnt want to take him anywhere because he was so antsy and just drove me nuts but he grew out of it. I would say all your 2nd one needs is a little TLC :)

  • Ricanme
    by Ricanme
    January 6, 2013 at 6:24 AM

    Maybe, the youngest is trying to get your attention and the only way to get it is doing the wrong thing.  Take time to share more time with him, do things he likes, get him involved in activities they both can share.  He probably feels he is being left out and he acts that way.  Kids can tell and feel when they are being put aside.  Instead of feeling that way give him more love and attention. 

  • Lindalou907
    January 6, 2013 at 6:45 AM

    Sorry, your post made me smile! Kids are all different, my first two were very easy and compliant, then the last was a hell raiser! But, he's 21 now and very congenial and smart, try to just be patient and model good behavior!

  • MusherMaggie
    January 6, 2013 at 4:26 PM
    Quoting littlemoments99:

    My mom has 5 kids (including me)  When it was just me and my sister she said her life was so easy. Then she had my brother and he has ADHD and some type of social problem. He has friends but likes to be alone. He is hard to describe. Super smart kid. He memorized all of our presidents and their vice presidents by the time he was 3. He knows at least 5 things about every war the U.S. has ever been in, little or big. He was the hardest kid to handle when he was little. My mom had to sit on him to get him to calm down. He would throw huge fits if he didn't get his way. He once got so mad he tried throwing a chair at me and my sister. Now he would never do that. He is pretty calm even when he gets mad, but he is also 16, not 4. 

    So, my point is, just be patient. Try your best. Kids can be hard and all of them are different. My brother sure didn't take after me and my sister and even my sister was more difficult than I was as kids. I would try spending some one on one time with both kids. Have a mom and me time once a week for each kid. That will make them feel special. Even if it's just going to the park for an hour, getting ice cream and talking for 20 min. Something. Sometimes kids act naughty if they feel like they are not getting enough attention. It's not because you are a bad mom. Being a mom is hard and it's something we can't be trained for, no matter how much babysitting you do.   :)

    Don't feel like a bad mom. If you are trying, then you are doing a great job. Good luck!! 


    Sounds like your brother might be somewhere on the high-functioning end of the autisim spectrum. Has he ever been tested for this?
  • saltlifemama
    January 6, 2013 at 5:11 PM

    Don't feel like a bad mom. I think all parents when honest with themselves has one or more kids then connect more with. I have to boys and I love them both very much and wouldn't trade one for the other. However my oldest and I are never on the same page. He is very very emotional. He is artistic and has that artist personality. 

    My youngest is way easier and black and white. He is a rough and tumble boy. Into sports, into video games and not complicated. I understand him making him way easier to connect with.

  • LACHESIS
    January 6, 2013 at 5:49 PM

    I hear ya! My 5 year old, good as gold. My 4 year old, a hell raiser. Some days all I can do is wait for her daddy to get home. Friday was one of those days. :/ ((((hugs)))) She has many good moments, but when she is bad, it is really NOT good. 

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