Homeschooling Moms

Featured Posts
Cafe MichelleP
Do You Think This Dad Did the Right Thing?
March 24 at 3:36 PM

Dad Files a Restraining Order Against a 9-Year-Old Who Punched His Son

by Kiri Blakeley

A concerned father may have found the most ingenious solution of all time to having his kid being bullied -- he filed a restraining order against the 9-year-old he says was bullying his son. While this might sound like yet another case of a parent being overprotective and stepping in to fight battles that should best be left to the kids, the dad says he did this as a "last resort," and that he had "tried everything else," and yet the school district was still ignoring him.

Authorities say this is the first time they'd heard of a restraining order granted against a child -- though there is no law against it. Other parents are saying that the dad isn't teaching his son to function in the "real world" and that you can't go around filing restraining orders against everyone you have an issue with.

Presumably, the man's son is the same age as the so-called bully, and this is an age where kids still need their parents to step in and protect them if need be. But it's also a fine line -- kids need to learn how to deal with negative and sometimes downright demoralizing situations. But do they have to learn how to "deal" with physical abuse?

I don't think that physical abuse or long-term psychological abuse should be part and parcel of going to school -- or living at home, or going to work for that matter. Yes, you do have to learn how to deal with difficult personalities, and kids should be taught that as well. But there's a difference between dealing with a kid who is nasty to you -- and one who punches you in the face and seems to have gotten away with it.

But if a kid is constantly in danger of being abused, or is being threatened, then I see no reason why a restraining order can't be a last resort protective measure. Even against a kid.

Video here

Do you think this dad did the right thing or is he being overprotective?

Replies

  • bluerooffarm
    March 24 at 3:45 PM

    Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

    An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.

  • mrs.hartman12
    March 24 at 4:06 PM
    Wow, thats actually a good idea. Why shouldn't children have the same protection legally as an adult, if they are being physically assaulted?
  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    March 24 at 4:23 PM

    Do you think maybe that this was done more as a way to get the school to actually respond to the situation?  If he's tried "everything" and the district/school isn't responsive, this may have been a way to legally force them to get off their duff and pay attention to this problem.

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

    An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.


  • bluerooffarm
    March 24 at 4:32 PM

    Hmmm... yeah, but how will the school be able to enforce it?  It sounds like they'll have a scheduling nightmare on their hands.  When that happens, it usually backfires.  Since this boy has the restraining order (and then in their mind "the problem") they may ignore his ducational needs in order to keep their classes apart.  

    Quoting hwblyf:

    Do you think maybe that this was done more as a way to get the school to actually respond to the situation?  If he's tried "everything" and the district/school isn't responsive, this may have been a way to legally force them to get off their duff and pay attention to this problem.

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

    An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.



  • Kaya529
    by Kaya529
    March 24 at 4:37 PM
    I see this as teaching him how to deal with the real world. If someone is physically assaulting me in the real world and won't knock it off I have every right to get a restraining order. I find it a necessary evil especially in the school system. It seems that more often than not the kid who get's bullied is more likely to get in trouble than the bully. The parents of said child won't do anything and the school turns a blind eye. There are no real options to protect kids anymore. He found a legal way to handle it. I call this creative thinking.
  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    March 24 at 5:25 PM

    I don't have a problem with them busting their asses to keep them separate.  When I was in 8th, I was shoved into lockers, pushed violently into the sidewalk, had my shoes ripped off my feet and thrown away, my books taken and thrown away, and obscenities yelled at me across the classroom.  And administration had the balls to ask if my teacher was aware of the problem (after being made aware of the above).  There's a problem with sweeping things under the carpet.  And had they taken this seriously and tried harder to begin with, legal enforcement might not have been whipped out.  But think about it....how many people do you know who have to fight for their behavior plans or IEPs to be followed?  How many have to have "advocates" to help them navigate the school BS?  It's sad, upsetting, reprehensible, but legal ramifications have a way of making people do what they should have done.  The one who will suffer, truly, is the one with the order against him.  

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    Hmmm... yeah, but how will the school be able to enforce it?  It sounds like they'll have a scheduling nightmare on their hands.  When that happens, it usually backfires.  Since this boy has the restraining order (and then in their mind "the problem") they may ignore his ducational needs in order to keep their classes apart.  

    Quoting hwblyf:

    Do you think maybe that this was done more as a way to get the school to actually respond to the situation?  If he's tried "everything" and the district/school isn't responsive, this may have been a way to legally force them to get off their duff and pay attention to this problem.

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

    An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.



  • bluerooffarm
    March 24 at 5:31 PM

    Maybe I didn't explain well enough.  I mean they are going to give him (the one who has the OoP) crappy classes and not care about which electives he asks for in order to keep HIM away from the bully instead of taking it out on the bully.  They'll tell the teachers to make sure they are kept apart and the teachers will do strange things like not allowing him to go to the restroom in case the bully is in the hallway.  The teachers and admins are not trained to deal with the situation so instead of learning about it, they'll take things out on the "one with the problem."

    Quoting hwblyf:

    I don't have a problem with them busting their asses to keep them separate.  When I was in 8th, I was shoved into lockers, pushed violently into the sidewalk, had my shoes ripped off my feet and thrown away, my books taken and thrown away, and obscenities yelled at me across the classroom.  And administration had the balls to ask if my teacher was aware of the problem (after being made aware of the above).  There's a problem with sweeping things under the carpet.  And had they taken this seriously and tried harder to begin with, legal enforcement might not have been whipped out.  But think about it....how many people do you know who have to fight for their behavior plans or IEPs to be followed?  How many have to have "advocates" to help them navigate the school BS?  It's sad, upsetting, reprehensible, but legal ramifications have a way of making people do what they should have done.  The one who will suffer, truly, is the one with the order against him.  

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    Hmmm... yeah, but how will the school be able to enforce it?  It sounds like they'll have a scheduling nightmare on their hands.  When that happens, it usually backfires.  Since this boy has the restraining order (and then in their mind "the problem") they may ignore his ducational needs in order to keep their classes apart.  

    Quoting hwblyf:

    Do you think maybe that this was done more as a way to get the school to actually respond to the situation?  If he's tried "everything" and the district/school isn't responsive, this may have been a way to legally force them to get off their duff and pay attention to this problem.

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

    An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.




  • snowangel1979
    March 24 at 5:55 PM
    Actually, that is the way it works in the "real world" If someone keeps assaulting you or harassing you, you can file a PPO. Obviously the parents had enough proff for a PPO to be issued.

    The way the real world works and the way schools do things are 100% different. There's no way someone could keep assaulting you at a job or in adult life in general and walk away with a good talking to, you being told just to avoid him/her or the problem just being ignored because "they" (ex: the police or a boss) don't want to deal with it.
  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    March 24 at 6:16 PM

    Now I hear what you're saying.  Unfortunately, though, for the one with the protective order against him, you're now talking about getting into the criminal system, and I don't believe any 9 yo belongs there.  Shame on the school for derelict of duty!

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    Maybe I didn't explain well enough.  I mean they are going to give him (the one who has the OoP) crappy classes and not care about which electives he asks for in order to keep HIM away from the bully instead of taking it out on the bully.  They'll tell the teachers to make sure they are kept apart and the teachers will do strange things like not allowing him to go to the restroom in case the bully is in the hallway.  The teachers and admins are not trained to deal with the situation so instead of learning about it, they'll take things out on the "one with the problem."

    Quoting hwblyf:

    I don't have a problem with them busting their asses to keep them separate.  When I was in 8th, I was shoved into lockers, pushed violently into the sidewalk, had my shoes ripped off my feet and thrown away, my books taken and thrown away, and obscenities yelled at me across the classroom.  And administration had the balls to ask if my teacher was aware of the problem (after being made aware of the above).  There's a problem with sweeping things under the carpet.  And had they taken this seriously and tried harder to begin with, legal enforcement might not have been whipped out.  But think about it....how many people do you know who have to fight for their behavior plans or IEPs to be followed?  How many have to have "advocates" to help them navigate the school BS?  It's sad, upsetting, reprehensible, but legal ramifications have a way of making people do what they should have done.  The one who will suffer, truly, is the one with the order against him.  

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    Hmmm... yeah, but how will the school be able to enforce it?  It sounds like they'll have a scheduling nightmare on their hands.  When that happens, it usually backfires.  Since this boy has the restraining order (and then in their mind "the problem") they may ignore his ducational needs in order to keep their classes apart.  

    Quoting hwblyf:

    Do you think maybe that this was done more as a way to get the school to actually respond to the situation?  If he's tried "everything" and the district/school isn't responsive, this may have been a way to legally force them to get off their duff and pay attention to this problem.

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    Interesting.  In our state an order of protection can only be filed when the people lived together.  I was unable to file an order of protection against an old abusive boyfriend because we had never lived together.

    An oder of protection is just a piece of paper.  It can't actually do anything and so many people let their guard down as though they are "safe" so I kind of disagree with a restraining order altogether.  False sense of security and all that.




  • melindabelcher
    Mel
    March 24 at 6:17 PM
    I agree

    Quoting Kaya529: I see this as teaching him how to deal with the real world. If someone is physically assaulting me in the real world and won't knock it off I have every right to get a restraining order. I find it a necessary evil especially in the school system. It seems that more often than not the kid who get's bullied is more likely to get in trouble than the bully. The parents of said child won't do anything and the school turns a blind eye. There are no real options to protect kids anymore. He found a legal way to handle it. I call this creative thinking.

Homeschooling Moms

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN