Homeschooling Moms

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TidewaterClan
Homeschool detention
March 16 at 5:56 PM
My 12 year old has been getting overly sarcastic and giving me a hard time lately. I know it's just part of growing up, but she wouldn't shut her eyes for 10 minutes or walk out on a public school class so I had to do something.

Two weeks ago we implemented the "Homeschool Detention Program" and it's working wonderfully! The girls and I made a list of rules: no laying down during class, no yelling during class, no playing with the dogs, etc. and posted them on our cork board. Every infraction equals 5 minutes of detention. Detention equals helping me clean on the weekend with absolutely NO grouching.

My house is much cleaner and older dd has a nicer attitude too, believe it or not! :)

Replies

  • coala
    by coala
    March 16 at 6:25 PM

    Sounds like you found something that is working. 

    I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

  • TidewaterClan
    March 16 at 6:48 PM
    Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it!

    Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?


    Quoting coala:

    Sounds like you found something that is working. 

    I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

  • coala
    by coala
    March 16 at 7:07 PM

    I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

    Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it! Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?
    Quoting coala:

    Sounds like you found something that is working. 

    I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!


  • KrissyKC
    March 16 at 8:40 PM
    That is tough about the veggies. My now 6 yr old ate only brocolli or corn until we planted a few veggies. Especially "her" cucumbers. She wouldn't eat them before we grew our own.

    She is still a little picky, but she devours salads with a variety of greens (artisan lettuce, dandelion greens, spinach, raw kale) and she will eat a whole plate of sliced cucumbers with ranch dip now.

    My older kids have been getting excited about the anatomy subject we have been studying and have been eating better based on learning how nutrition affects his body.

    I set things up for a build your own salad and put some interesting fact or two about the options on index cards. Sometimes they still refuse to eat it, but usually they are willing to put at least a sample of the new items on their salad.

    If all else fails, the occassional gently worded bribe works.

    I set a platter of raw cut veggies on the table and announce that when the tray is gone, we will make berry sundaes.


    Quoting coala:

    I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

    Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it!

    Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?


    Quoting coala:

    Sounds like you found something that is working. 

    I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

  • TJandKarasMom
    March 16 at 8:54 PM
    This is so exactly my DD and she is only 10.5! We have a long way to go....the icing on the cake is that she is not my biological child! She is DHs and her mother hasn't been in the picture at all for two years now. I am just waiting for the "you're not my mother!" comments to start :(. I know it's coming.

    I may consider this HS detention....I like how you have it so its cleaning on the weekends, since I work this could work for us too.

    Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it!

    Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?


    Quoting coala:

    Sounds like you found something that is working. 

    I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

  • coala
    by coala
    March 16 at 9:09 PM

    We have never had a problem with veggies....until today.  I do however like your well worded bribes. LOL

    Quoting KrissyKC: That is tough about the veggies. My now 6 yr old ate only brocolli or corn until we planted a few veggies. Especially "her" cucumbers. She wouldn't eat them before we grew our own. She is still a little picky, but she devours salads with a variety of greens (artisan lettuce, dandelion greens, spinach, raw kale) and she will eat a whole plate of sliced cucumbers with ranch dip now. My older kids have been getting excited about the anatomy subject we have been studying and have been eating better based on learning how nutrition affects his body. I set things up for a build your own salad and put some interesting fact or two about the options on index cards. Sometimes they still refuse to eat it, but usually they are willing to put at least a sample of the new items on their salad. If all else fails, the occassional gently worded bribe works. I set a platter of raw cut veggies on the table and announce that when the tray is gone, we will make berry sundaes.
    Quoting coala:

    I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

    Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it! Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?
    Quoting coala:

    Sounds like you found something that is working. 

    I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!



  • TidewaterClan
    March 16 at 9:46 PM
    That does sound like she is feeling anxious. You guys have done other competitions if I remember right. Is this one the biggest? Have all the skating buddies been talking about it?

    Quoting coala:

    I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

    Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it!

    Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?


    Quoting coala:

    Sounds like you found something that is working. 

    I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    March 16 at 9:46 PM

    Oh, I may have to utilize this!

  • TidewaterClan
    March 16 at 9:54 PM
    These are wonderful ideas Krissy! I'm going to use them if you don't mind. My youngest likes salads now, but these are super clever ways to make other veggies fun.

    Quoting KrissyKC: That is tough about the veggies. My now 6 yr old ate only brocolli or corn until we planted a few veggies. Especially "her" cucumbers. She wouldn't eat them before we grew our own.

    She is still a little picky, but she devours salads with a variety of greens (artisan lettuce, dandelion greens, spinach, raw kale) and she will eat a whole plate of sliced cucumbers with ranch dip now.

    My older kids have been getting excited about the anatomy subject we have been studying and have been eating better based on learning how nutrition affects his body.

    I set things up for a build your own salad and put some interesting fact or two about the options on index cards. Sometimes they still refuse to eat it, but usually they are willing to put at least a sample of the new items on their salad.

    If all else fails, the occassional gently worded bribe works.

    I set a platter of raw cut veggies on the table and announce that when the tray is gone, we will make berry sundaes.


    Quoting coala:

    I honestly think she is testing us...we are coming up on the 2 year mark of her living with us.  It has been over a year since she has seen or talked to her bio mother.  Her bio father is in prison.....all of this is hard on this child.  I think she is testing to make sure that we aren't going to throw her away like her bio parents have.  It is hard some days and others not so much.  Then you factor in the stress level that is rising because she is going to a MAJOR skating competition in Atlanta this next weekend and her coach is pushing her to skate harder (because she just hasn't been giving it her all for 2 mos).  I think it is all just getting to her.  We are going to take some time off come summer....when her season is over.  I don't want to pull her and right now with regionals quickly approaching we are under fire with her skating.  Her coach even wants to partner her with a male friend of hers to have them skate a relay together....but she has to bring it up a notch because he is giving it everything and she is so/so.  UGH!!  Is how I feel most days after practice because she has SO MUCH untapped potential that she is wasting.

    Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it!

    Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?


    Quoting coala:

    Sounds like you found something that is working. 

    I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

  • TidewaterClan
    March 16 at 10:04 PM
    I sincerely hope she never says that. Your children couldn't ask for a better & more caring mother than you.

    It's working well, especially since it's only 5 minute increments. Older dd owed my three hours today and we got a TON of cleaning done.


    Quoting TJandKarasMom: This is so exactly my DD and she is only 10.5! We have a long way to go....the icing on the cake is that she is not my biological child! She is DHs and her mother hasn't been in the picture at all for two years now. I am just waiting for the "you're not my mother!" comments to start :(. I know it's coming.

    I may consider this HS detention....I like how you have it so its cleaning on the weekends, since I work this could work for us too.

    Quoting TidewaterClan: Oh that's frustrating. One of older dd's favorite sayings is "I don't get it" complemented by an eye roll. I wouldn't mind if she let me get two words into a sentence before saying it. I added "no interrupting each other" to the board and that helped after she racked up 30 minutes for it!

    Is it just a phase or do you think she's testing you?


    Quoting coala:

    Sounds like you found something that is working. 

    I need something to help with the "I don't want to" response I get when I give my ODD an instruction...she is 8 and it is making me crazy.  I told her to order veggies with lunch today and "I don't want to" was her answer to me.  I told her to eat her veggies "I don't want to" was again her response.  It is going to drive me to drink.....she is not old enough to decide what she eats and when.  I have had this response from her for so many different reasons...go outside and play, put your jacket on, change your shoes....you name it that is what I get.  UGH!!!!

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