Homeschooling Moms

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norahsmommy
Can I homeschool without going insane?
March 6 at 8:00 PM
I'm a tightly wound person. I'm working on it. It's a difficult thing for me to manage. Honestly I'm a little relieved when my oldest 2 go off to school because I can focus easier on the needs of my younger 3. My kids are 9, 6, 4, 2 and 8 weeks. My oldest is dyslexic and struggling. She is smart but the school ( best in the district) is not teaching in a way that she does best with. She is falling behind. The school is also letting other kids down by pushing through subjects to get all their curriculum done whether or not the kids even understand. For example the homeworker currently being send home with the 3rd graders involves division but they are still drilling addition and subtraction math facts. They have not drilled multiplication at all even when the homework involved multiplication and basic algebra. The kids had no idea how to do the homework. Now they've moved on to division with the kids barely understanding multiplication. They also have totally squashed my 6 year olds love of learning.

Anyway I'm getting fed up with the school because I spend 2-4 hours every night going over homework anyway so I sometimes think it would be easier to just do it myself. Get actual work done, not just busy work.

I just don't know if I'd be any good at it. I'm terrible with social things too. I have no friends at all because I'm very antisocial. My kids don't really see their friends outside of school because of this. They have friends over maybe 4 times a year. Obviously that's not enough and I'm working on it. But I feel like if I homeschooled them they would never see other kids.

How do you do it? How do I do it successfully?

Replies

  • Bleacheddecay
    March 6 at 8:56 PM

    You push yourself socially for your kids. Put them in after school activities they would enjoy like martial arts, scouts, whatever. Take them to homeschooling park days and field trips.

    You can homeschool them better and you might go a little crazy but it's also likely that you will learn to take it easier on yourself as well.

    They absolutely need the multiplication facts down cold before they go much further.

  • TidewaterClan
    March 6 at 9:42 PM
    This is our first hs year. Both of mine (12 & 9) brought home tons of homework last year. Now that we're homeschooling everything but their extra 20 minutes of reading is done by 4:00.

    My oldest went from crying every night over piles of repetitious homework to going outside with her sister and playing and enjoying the sun again.

    We average one hs activity each week so they can learn from someone aside from me, and play with other kids. We're all starting to make new friends. I make myself talk to people. If you ask someone what curriculum they use you're set for at least a 30 minute conversation. :)
  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    March 6 at 9:47 PM

     

    I love that part of the book! But seriously, there are groups, co-ops & park days that you can make a point to find & go try. I know some homeschoolers that have gym day at a local gym that has caught on to the homeschool craze & offers classes for the kids. Take baby steps with getting out, start with just going to the park once a week & see what other homeschoolers show up.

    My kids don't get to see other kids as much as they would like to. But when they did get to be around kids a lot I didn't like the influence the other children had on them! I felt like they had less kindness & compassion for each other due to the other children influence (Let me explain, my youngest has Autism & his sister plays great with him until she gets around other kids that are not understanding of him. Then she starts to be intolerant of him like they are!)

  • norahsmommy
    March 6 at 9:57 PM
    My oldest was so social as a small child. She was able to run up to any kid in the park and be fast friends. In preschool she had a great time and was very happy. In kinder she was bullied incessantly and had no friends. It turns out the teacher singled her out made her sit alone at a table and told all the other kids not to bother her because it distracted her. So they took it a step further and were mean as hell. When I found out I immediately put a stop to the segregation but the damage was done. It took until this year for her to make any friends at all. She is getting better at it, more confident but it's not like when she was small. I blame school for damaging that bright spirit.

    Quoting usmom3:

     


    I love that part of the book! But seriously, there are groups, co-ops & park days that you can make a point to find & go try. I know some homeschoolers that have gym day at a local gym that has caught on to the homeschool craze & offers classes for the kids. Take baby steps with getting out, start with just going to the park once a week & see what other homeschoolers show up.


    My kids don't get to see other kids as much as they would like to. But when they did get to be around kids a lot I didn't like the influence the other children had on them! I felt like they had less kindness & compassion for each other due to the other children influence (Let me explain, my youngest has Autism & his sister plays great with him until she gets around other kids that are not understanding of him. Then she starts to be intolerant of him like they are!)

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    March 6 at 10:08 PM

     I can sympathies, my oldest went to public school until he was 12 1/2 y/o. The school & the children damaged his desire for friends & his love of learning! He has Autism & so it was already hard to get him to make friends now it is nearly impossible!

    Quoting norahsmommy: My oldest was so social as a small child. She was able to run up to any kid in the park and be fast friends. In preschool she had a great time and was very happy. In kinder she was bullied incessantly and had no friends. It turns out the teacher singled her out made her sit alone at a table and told all the other kids not to bother her because it distracted her. So they took it a step further and were mean as hell. When I found out I immediately put a stop to the segregation but the damage was done. It took until this year for her to make any friends at all. She is getting better at it, more confident but it's not like when she was small. I blame school for damaging that bright spirit.
    Quoting usmom3:

     

    I love that part of the book! But seriously, there are groups, co-ops & park days that you can make a point to find & go try. I know some homeschoolers that have gym day at a local gym that has caught on to the homeschool craze & offers classes for the kids. Take baby steps with getting out, start with just going to the park once a week & see what other homeschoolers show up.

    My kids don't get to see other kids as much as they would like to. But when they did get to be around kids a lot I didn't like the influence the other children had on them! I felt like they had less kindness & compassion for each other due to the other children influence (Let me explain, my youngest has Autism & his sister plays great with him until she gets around other kids that are not understanding of him. Then she starts to be intolerant of him like they are!)

     

  • ablackdolphin
    March 6 at 10:22 PM
    It is insane at times and other times you will clearly see why you are doing it and that its all worth it!!
  • jen2150
    by jen2150
    March 6 at 11:20 PM
    You find what works for you. Honestly I spend about 3-4 hours tops homeschooling. I am a very shy person. Homeschooling has helped me as much as my children. I now run my own co-op and take karate with my boys. Two things that I would never dreamed I would be doing 7 years ago. I have so many homeschooling friends that I lost count. You will grow while homeschooling as much as your children. It will be hard at first. There will busy, crazy and insaine days. The first 2 years are probably the hardest.
  • oahoah
    by oahoah
    March 7 at 12:15 AM

    For us, homeschooling has been about improving family relations, not social connections.  We have never had friends over, but we have regular park days where we meet our friends, regular library days, and a variety of social outings every month, some fun and some for learning.  They also play with a neighbor boy regularly and are friendly with all our neighbors. I think we have become more social since we started homeschooling, I used to have a hard time going to new places but I have pushed myself for my boys sakes (ages 9,6,4).   We are also able to spend more time together as a family which would be harder if they were in school, my husband works 7 days on and gets 2 off and every month he has different days off, one 3-day weekend a month;  kids don't learn everything they need to know in school, a lot of what is useful in life is more from experience than from a book or a test.  Both my DH & I were public schooled and it takes a while to wrap your mind around the idea of being taught at home but we have embraced it and it has been the best thing for all of us.

  • KrissyKC
    March 7 at 1:56 PM
    I can be wound very tight, too. My quick answer is actually..

    No.. you can't do it without a touch of going insane. However, looking back, I find it is a good insanity, if that is any encouragement.

    I understand the looking forward to their being out of the house, but my older two have been out of the public school for 4 years now and I no longer miss that aspect as having them around feels natural again.

    You have a very young family and have many years yet before studies have to be college minded, so my window of advice would be to lump as much together as you can and fall into making school and learning very optimistic and enjoyable.

    If you live in a state that is more stringent, you will have to do the things they ask for. Otuerwise, completely take the time to learn and immerse yourself in your family life. If your family simply devours subjects and books together, your kids will learn.

    Reading and math are the key elements and they are important. Its good to master these totally before trying any high pressured learning.

    I would hate the way your kids' school is handling math.
  • KrissyKC
    March 7 at 2:01 PM
    Oh and the social aspect is not as prominent or as big a deal as other people make it out.

    Our family is extremely active in clubs and groups this year, but other years it was more about home and academics.

    We really enjoy and get a lot out of the activities and over time, you will decide when and where social activities are necessary for your family.

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