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julesjerry
i dodnt know what to choose
January 29 at 7:56 PM

My daughter who is 6,  always say " i don't know what to choose" a lot.

Is this common. or should i have to build her decision making skills? any tips for me please.

Example when u show her 4 candy- she reply " i don't know what to choose"

which dress you want to were. she reply " " i don't know what to choose"

Which home work you want to do first : " i dodnt know what to choose"

 

Replies

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 29 at 8:06 PM

    Give her two choices only or a time limit then make the choice for her and do not go back on it. It's normal but she can learn.

  • julesjerry
    January 29 at 8:08 PM

     just with two choice also she is doing this. Sometimes i will get mad and cry.

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    Give her two choices only or a time limit then make the choice for her and do not go back on it. It's normal but she can learn.

     

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 29 at 8:09 PM

    Try to keep calm and just make choices for her then. *HUGS*

    Quoting julesjerry:

     just with two choice also she is doing this. Sometimes i will get mad and cry.

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    Give her two choices only or a time limit then make the choice for her and do not go back on it. It's normal but she can learn.



  • ambcortez
    January 29 at 8:11 PM

    I would narrow the options. "You can wear the red dress or the green dress". "You can do math or science." "You can have m&ms or skittles". 

    My DS is similar with making decisions, so I usually make them for him without him really knowing about it. By narrowing down the options, it makes it easier. You get first pick, then let her choose from what you picked. Try not to give more then 2 or 3 choices.

  • KickButtMama
    January 29 at 9:43 PM

    My eldest has anxiety. He doesn't look like it on the outside, but it definitely hinders his decision making skills. If he's worried I might get upset he will literally be unable to choose. So I'd make sure you keep your voice light and fun, lay out the 2 choices, then leave it to her by walking away. If she sees you are sad, she might translate that into her doing something wrong. 

    Quoting julesjerry:

     just with two choice also she is doing this. Sometimes i will get mad and cry.

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    Give her two choices only or a time limit then make the choice for her and do not go back on it. It's normal but she can learn.



  • coala
    by coala
    January 30 at 8:56 AM

    I agree with the other posters in starting to limit the number of choices of you give her from 4 to 2.  Let her know ahead of time that Mommy is ok with either choice and that may help reduce her stress level and the "I don't know which one" answers.

  • julesjerry
    January 30 at 10:29 AM

     You are so true dear. Thank you for the insight. That is exactly what is happening, when i am sad she is thinking something is wrong.

    Also she cry, if i am mad at any one. She cry for her friends. She is only 6.1years old.

    Shall i take her to doctor to test her anxiety. I am worried. I have anxiety issue in high level.

    Quoting KickButtMama:

    My eldest has anxiety. He doesn't look like it on the outside, but it definitely hinders his decision making skills. If he's worried I might get upset he will literally be unable to choose. So I'd make sure you keep your voice light and fun, lay out the 2 choices, then leave it to her by walking away. If she sees you are sad, she might translate that into her doing something wrong. 

    Quoting julesjerry:

     just with two choice also she is doing this. Sometimes i will get mad and cry.

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    Give her two choices only or a time limit then make the choice for her and do not go back on it. It's normal but she can learn.

     


     

  • KickButtMama
    January 30 at 2:44 PM

    I only took my eldest to the dr because he would purge due to anxiety (force vomiting) even at the youngest ages. If it were me, I'd probably try to adjust my behavior and start talking with her about people's emotional expressions. Then I'd probably bring it up at the next pediatrician appt. 

    Quoting julesjerry:

     You are so true dear. Thank you for the insight. That is exactly what is happening, when i am sad she is thinking something is wrong.

    Also she cry, if i am mad at any one. She cry for her friends. She is only 6.1years old.

    Shall i take her to doctor to test her anxiety. I am worried. I have anxiety issue in high level.

    Quoting KickButtMama:

    My eldest has anxiety. He doesn't look like it on the outside, but it definitely hinders his decision making skills. If he's worried I might get upset he will literally be unable to choose. So I'd make sure you keep your voice light and fun, lay out the 2 choices, then leave it to her by walking away. If she sees you are sad, she might translate that into her doing something wrong. 

    Quoting julesjerry:

     just with two choice also she is doing this. Sometimes i will get mad and cry.

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    Give her two choices only or a time limit then make the choice for her and do not go back on it. It's normal but she can learn.





  • AutymsMommy
    January 30 at 3:03 PM

    Before taking her to be tested for anxiety, I would see if the way she reacts changes when YOU react better towards her. As Kickbutt said, she may be getting anxious because you are - if you take that out of the equation, see how she does before approaching it medicinally.

  • KrissyKC
    January 30 at 4:21 PM
    I always just say... 3 ...2....1... ok. I make the choice for you and they deal with it.

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