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Homeschool Barbie
January 21, 2014 at 5:35 PM


Homeschool Barbie™

Submitted by CSandkc on December 16th, 2013 – Flag this news as inappropriate
Category: Funny

Need a Christmas gift for your sheltered home schooled children? Well now there's Homeschool Barbie™!

Homeschool Barbie™ is just the toy for your precious little angel. She has a fresh, clean complexion and simply styled hair to show forth her natural beauty. And because she loves her family so much, she keeps right on smiling as she rises with the sun and works until long after they're in bed, and she has the eyes to prove it. (Coffeemaker and mood enhancers not included.)

Homeschool Barbie™ comes modestly attired in a denim jumper with an embroidered t-shirt for warm months and a turtleneck for winter. And no bare legs and flip-flops for this doll--her legs and feet are properly covered with dark tights and comfortable shoes. As an added bonus, Homeschool Barbie's™ underclothes are painted on. So, even when your daughters are interrupted at play, your boys won't be scandalized by the sight of a naked Barbie™.

As homeschooling has grown in popularity, there's a Barbie™ to meet every need. The Protestant Christian version comes with a miniature Bible (the complete King James version!) and will recite Scripture verses when her hand is pressed. Catholic Homeschool Barbie™ wears a crucifix, chapel veil, and can lead your children in praying the Rosary (in your choice of Latin or English) when her hands are placed together. Secular Homeschool Barbie™ comes complete with a grain mill and Birkenstocks™, and shares her favorite home remedies & recipes with a pat on the back. All three dolls include a variety of Math curricula with manipulatives and chalkboards with tiny real chalk!

And what would a teacher be without students? Children for Homeschool Barbie™ are available in a variety packs of seven girls & boys ranging in age from four to ten, in your choice of matching or non-matching outfits. (Cloth-diapered infants & toddlers sold separately)

Additionally, you can purchase a Homeschool Barbie™ Dreamhouse™, with a whopping 12 rooms and without the nuisances of cable hookups or internet access. (Barn and livestock sold separately) For transportation, there's the Big White Barbie™ Van, which seats up to 15 in comfort and safety. (Carseats not included)

To further enrich your children's play, Homeschool Ken™ is also available. He's ready to jump ship, um leave for work in his coat and tie with briefcase in hand. He says such helpful phrases as, "I'm sure whichever curriculum you choose is fine," and "When's dinner, honey?" when his hand is squeezed. Caution: over use of Ken's voice may cause the Dreamhouse door to lock him out.

Watch for Unschooling Barbie™ due out in Spring of 2014, or whenever the design team feels like finishing her.

Written by Suzanne Andrews
Photo credit: Kate Essenberg


  • KickButtMama
    January 21, 2014 at 5:37 PM

     I have to say my fav is the 'ship jumping' er working Ken and the Unschool Barbie which might be finished,

  • debramommyof4
    January 21, 2014 at 5:44 PM
    Lol! That is to funny.
  • celtic77dragon
    January 21, 2014 at 5:50 PM

    nerdy   EPIC

  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    January 21, 2014 at 5:55 PM

    I'm putting in my order for all of need the whole set to really make it feel "right."  :)

  • PinkButterfly66
    January 21, 2014 at 5:59 PM

    Does Homeschool Barbie come in a non-vavavoom figure?  After all, popping out all those kids does tend to ruin a girl's figure.

  • LowryCuisine
    January 21, 2014 at 5:59 PM

    I love it. Need them all as well as Crunchy Barbie, Commune Barbie, and Amish Barbie.

  • celtic77dragon
    January 21, 2014 at 6:16 PM

    I think that unschooling barbie clan is building the barn because they thought it was bs that it was sold separately. At the very least, they are in their pjs watching documentaries on how to go about doing it. 

  • bluerooffarm
    January 21, 2014 at 6:20 PM

    Bwahahahaha!  The Grain mill and Birkenstocks!  LOL!!!  

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    January 21, 2014 at 7:31 PM

     That is funny!

  • KickButtMama
    January 21, 2014 at 7:51 PM

    Lol, commune

    Quoting LowryCuisine:

    I love it. Need them all as well as Crunchy Barbie, Commune Barbie, and Amish Barbie.

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