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TidewaterClan
How do you feel about sleepovers that aren't at your house?
November 19, 2013 at 6:18 PM
Blue's post about saying no made me think of this.

How do you feel about & handle sleepover requests from other people? I'm comfortable with my girls going to my parents' house or my mother in laws. I haven't let them stay elsewhere though.

Last year my oldest daughter (then 11) was asked to stay at a friend's house. I love the mom but went to high school with her husband. I didn't care for him then or now. I let her go until midnight but then picked her up & said it was so she could see dh since he'd been out of town all week for work.

Last summer a girl from class who always talked about the many boyfriends her mom had & how they made crude remarks to her asked. I'll bet you'll be surprised to hear I said 'No Thanks!'


We're slowly starting to make hs friends locally, so I'd appreciate hearing what you ladies think about sleepovers.

Replies

  • usmom3
    by usmom3
    BJ
    November 19, 2013 at 6:37 PM

     My oldest that is 20 is the only one that has slept away from home the most! And then it was only at 3 different places my brothers house, a neighbor that lived right across the street & then it was more of we where all over hanging out & playing games & he would fall asleep before we where ready to leave & we would just come get him the next morning instead of making him walk home, and his best friends house but that was only since he was 15 & he knew all about the dangers & how to listen to his inner voice!

    My 10y/o DD my oldest stayed with my friend the night I had our youngest but that was not planed they just happened to have fallen asleep before my Hubby could pick them up & my friend offered to keep them the rest of the nightso he could get some sleep. Our oldest woke up & asked to go home with him but our DD stayed until Hubby got her early the next morning!

    Our youngest has never stayed over night with out me!

    At this point in time my younger children have never been invited to a sleep over so I don't know what I would say because it would all depend on who asked!

     

  • tuffymama
    November 19, 2013 at 6:40 PM
    Ugh. No. ODS had sleepovers at my house, but never at a friend's house. Frankly, I worked too much to get to know the other parents really well, and what I did know of many of them was extremely off-putting. I also know the shenanigans that went on in the houses of my friends when I was small, and HELL NO my little won't be subjected to that nonsense. Drugs, pornography, and domestic disturbance are things we protect the kids from and bar from our home, and I certainly don't want them exposed to any of it away from me where I cannot control their exposure and explain it to them. For instance, I have a very old friend who thinks nothing of smoking a joint in the kitchen in full view of her kids in the dining room. We don't visit there anymore in the "high time" of the afternoon, and LO certainly won't go alone.
  • AutymsMommy
    November 19, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    Yes, we allow them. My eldest has been staying the night with her best friend (whose father is a single father) since dd was about 7 or 8.

    I also allow her to sleepover at school for campus campouts (although she often ends up sleeping in one of the bedrooms at the school when it gets chilly out, lol).

    I would allow my boys to stay the night with friends as well - provided I know the parent(s) well.

  • tansyflower
    November 19, 2013 at 7:35 PM

    i am on the fence.  i was severly sexually abused as achild by my mothers best friends husband.  i was there all the time babysitting their daughter and when the mother had to work.  it makes it hard for me to trust other people with my children knowing that even trusted family friends can be monsters :(

  • Mandallyn
    November 19, 2013 at 7:46 PM

    My kids are still young, so I can't really give good advice on that, lol.  I don't live around anyone I gre up with, so I would have to speak to the parent's first. I would probably let my oldest go to a friend's house.  I know he'll tell me if anything were to happen to him.  My middle son, even at the same age as my current I would be less inclined since he's more quiet and reclusive.  I wouldn't trust anyone with him, not my MIL or my grandma.  I barely trust my mom with him! LOL  

  • Micala35
    November 19, 2013 at 7:54 PM
    ONLY if I know the parents well. I'm paranoid about the dangers, but I don't let it get in the way of the kids having a fun AND safe time.


    Quoting TidewaterClan:

    Blue's post about saying no made me think of this.



    How do you feel about & handle sleepover requests from other people? I'm comfortable with my girls going to my parents' house or my mother in laws. I haven't let them stay elsewhere though.



    Last year my oldest daughter (then 11) was asked to stay at a friend's house. I love the mom but went to high school with her husband. I didn't care for him then or now. I let her go until midnight but then picked her up & said it was so she could see dh since he'd been out of town all week for work.



    Last summer a girl from class who always talked about the many boyfriends her mom had & how they made crude remarks to her asked. I'll bet you'll be surprised to hear I said 'No Thanks!'





    We're slowly starting to make hs friends locally, so I'd appreciate hearing what you ladies think about sleepovers.

  • Jinx-Troublex3
    November 19, 2013 at 7:55 PM
    I do let the kids do sleepovers bit only with people we know pretty well. So far it has only heen at the home of Scout friends.
  • debramommyof4
    November 19, 2013 at 8:01 PM
    This. I fight it because I know it is a part of childhood. But I can't yet do it

    Quoting tansyflower:

    i am on the fence.  i was severly sexually abused as achild by my mothers best friends husband.  i was there all the time babysitting their daughter and when the mother had to work.  it makes it hard for me to trust other people with my children knowing that even trusted family friends can be monsters :(

  • TJandKarasMom
    November 19, 2013 at 8:34 PM

    We don't do them.  DD has had two friends sleep here, it was obnoxious both times, lol.  Then she also had DHs cousin (who is not even two years older than DD) sleep over once and that went ok.  Then we let DD sleep over there last spring (DD was almost 10) and that seems to have gone well.  DD had fun and made it the whole night (aunt reassured she would call me if DD wanted to come home, after I told her about a friend's mom telling me she wouldn't call me if DD wanted to come home-and DD never slept over that friend's house lol).

    I think next weekend when DS goes to his dad's we may let DD sleep over cousin's house again, it's been like 6 months and DD will have fun and DH and I would get a much needed date night (and we could do some Christmas shopping...we have always been able to take a day and do it together but with the kids being home now I don't see how we could do that!)

    Anyway, I'm still not ready to let her sleep at friend's houses, but the cousin I can handle.  It's weird, my mom even asked me recently if I ever had anything bad happen when I had sleepovers-I never really did, there were some things that I hope DD never deals with (like peer pressure kind of stuff) but nothing bad ever happened to me and I had a blast sleeping over friend's houses.  I really don't know why I am so uncomfortable with it for DD.

    Oh and DS has never had a sleep over.  DH thinks those aren't for boys, lol.  And the one boy that has invited him to sleep over-DH grew up with the dad and refuses to leave DS at their house alone during the day nevermind over night.

  • Pukalani79
    November 19, 2013 at 8:44 PM

     If I know the families, we allow them.  Typically though, the sleepovers happen here.  That's fine with me. I wanted our home to be the home that the kids and their friends hung out at.  It's helped me to get to know their friends better as well as what's going on with everyone: what the problems are, what they're excited about, etc

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