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paganbaby
DD Still wants to go to high school but I have a plan. Am I being too hard? Update
November 14, 2013 at 11:37 AM

I had a long talk with dd. She admitted that the public school draw was more social than anything else but it's more important for her to be learning. So she's decided to stay homeschooled.

Another change I'm making, is how we do school work. For the next month or so, I'm going to try real world learning. Instead of traditional algebra, dd is going to be figuring out her monthly payments for a 10,000 dollar Mustang convertible with a 7.5 interest rate. Or I'll have her deposit a check  in her account with a negative balance, then see how many bills she can pay and have money left for groceries. I'm also planning on having her do a lot more cooking and baking, something she enjoys but I just haven't found time to do. I'm trying to encourage her to read more by paying her 1.5 cents per page,lol. Writing she's always been good at and for science and history I'd like to watch more documentaries with her so she can find topics that interest her. She's pretty excited about this change. Wish me luck!

After coming back from her aunt's, dd is more insistent than ever about wanting to go to a "real" high school. (Sil and her bf spun tales of all the social experiences she'll be missing out on) I'm completely against it. She's already so behind as it is and there's no way she could keep pace in a high school setting.

Then I had a plan. My teaching style is very relaxed and laid back. The kids learn what they're interested in at their own pace. But, if she truly wants to go back to public school, that would have to change. I would look up common core and start teaching her to those standards. She would have to work very hard to catch up and by the end of summer, I would test her. If she is at or above where she needs to be, I'll send her to high school. If not, she'll have to stay home for another year.

She told me I was being unfair, and I'm just trying to make it hard on purpose. 

Do you think I'm being unfair?
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 17% - Yes, I think you are.
  2. 76% - No, not at all.
  3. 5% - Eh, I'll explain in the replies.

Replies

  • debramommyof4
    November 14, 2013 at 11:41 AM

     I do not think that is unfair.  If she wants to go to high school she needs to be able to do what all the other freshman are capible of . That way she is not behind and it is not harder than it has to be.  Plus if they test her they might even put her into 8th grade if she is not where she is suppose to be.

  • paganbaby
    November 14, 2013 at 11:46 AM

    That's what I told her. And dd would die! She's already been held back once in 7th.

    Quoting debramommyof4:

     I do not think that is unfair.  If she wants to go to high school she needs to be able to do what all the other freshman are capible of . That way she is not behind and it is not harder than it has to be.  Plus if they test her they might even put her into 8th grade if she is not where she is suppose to be.


  • Bleacheddecay
    November 14, 2013 at 11:55 AM

    I think that is fair and more than fair. If she won't cooperate then she doesn't need to go to a public "real" high school.

    Btw, I'd probably not let her hang out with her Aunt and SIL. I'd not facilitate the relationship with the BF at all either.

  • paganbaby
    November 14, 2013 at 12:00 PM

    DD wants all the glamour without the hard work,lol.

    And the only reason I really sent her over there was so she could earn money for the lap top she busted >:-/

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    I think that is fair and more than fair. If she won't cooperate then she doesn't need to go to a public "real" high school.

    Btw, I'd probably not let her hang out with her Aunt and SIL. I'd not facilitate the relationship with the BF at all either.


  • celticdragon77
    November 14, 2013 at 1:12 PM

    I didn't vote. It didnt feel like my place to say whether you were being fair or not in this situation. 

    I personally pushed for my daughter to attend public school for high school. She had the goal of college and I wanted to make sure that she was challenged to do so.

    My daughter was VERY much like your own about slacking off. However she was working at grade level. The first year was tough with discpline in high school. However, after the first year, she had to be put in honors programs for the public school to be challenging enough.

    My question is this though; If she is behind, why would you choose to keep her as such? I am just curious at your thinking behind this.  

    Does your daughter have goals of college ever?  

    Did I miss your daughters age and/or grade level?

  • bluerooffarm
    November 14, 2013 at 1:55 PM

     Nope, not at all.  If she is going to stay home you can allow her to find her pace and passion, if she is going back to PS she will need to follow their benchmark standards. 

  • Jinx-Troublex3
    November 14, 2013 at 2:14 PM

    i've told of our expeerience several times. By high School, I think it is important for a child/young adult to have a say in their education. I would send her back to PS if that is what she wants. However, she needs to be well aware fo the options, or LACK of options.

    I wold set up an appointment wit ha school counselor at the high school she wold atted. Go over the requirements, the rules and expectations and have her tested to see where she wold be placed. Here it is automtic, they place yo uin the age/grade you would be in if you had attended school all the way through and you have to demand testing to go higher.

     You also have to decide what your stance will be if she goes to public school. Are you "giving it a try" with the option of her coming home again? If she starts high school ,she completes the grade there? or she NEVER returns to homeschooling?

    We did this wih my oldest and went with option one "let's give it a try and see what happens". He wanted to go to a specifi school with a robotics and engineering program. It was a joke. I was ready to take him home after the 2nd day...He made it to day 4 before asking to return to our homeschool charter program. I told him, if we went back to the Charter school,  there would be NO GOING BACK to public school...EVER. The School we are zoned for is HORRIBLE and I pulled a lot of strings to get him into the program he wanted in the first place so he coldn't go back to that school once he quit. 

    Luckily for us, he is doing very well where we are now and he knows he wants to continue on this path.

  • paganbaby
    November 14, 2013 at 2:43 PM

    Do you feel like you couldn't adequately challenge your dd at home?

    To answer your question, she's behind according to public school standards, but she's right where she needs to be according to me :-) Not every child is gifted academically and that's okay. She has many other qualities that I treasure. The reason I brought her home so she could learn at her own pace and find her passion.

    She says she wants to go to college and become a doctor. I don't see that happening. She has a romanticized view of doctors but no real interest in medicine. I'm not sure where she's going in life at this moment but she time to figure it out.

    Quoting celticdragon77:

    I didn't vote. It didnt feel like my place to say whether you were being fair or not in this situation. 

    I personally pushed for my daughter to attend public school for high school. She had the goal of college and I wanted to make sure that she was challenged to do so.

    My daughter was VERY much like your own about slacking off. However she was working at grade level. The first year was tough with discpline in high school. However, after the first year, she had to be put in honors programs for the public school to be challenging enough.

    My question is this though; If she is behind, why would you choose to keep her as such? I am just curious at your thinking behind this.  

    Does your daughter have goals of college ever?  

    Did I miss your daughters age and/or grade level?


  • paganbaby
    November 14, 2013 at 2:45 PM

    Pace and passion. I love how you put that!

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

     Nope, not at all.  If she is going to stay home you can allow her to find her pace and passion, if she is going back to PS she will need to follow their benchmark standards. 


  • paganbaby
    November 14, 2013 at 2:51 PM

    She's not looking at the work involved. Her idea of high school is cute boys in the hall, best friends gossiping during lunch, prom, football games, ect. 

    If she's willing to put the time and effort, I'm willing to let her try high school. Like you, it would be, see how it goes but no more back and forth.

    Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

    i've told of our expeerience several times. By high School, I think it is important for a child/young adult to have a say in their education. I would send her back to PS if that is what she wants. However, she needs to be well aware fo the options, or LACK of options.

    I wold set up an appointment wit ha school counselor at the high school she wold atted. Go over the requirements, the rules and expectations and have her tested to see where she wold be placed. Here it is automtic, they place yo uin the age/grade you would be in if you had attended school all the way through and you have to demand testing to go higher.

     You also have to decide what your stance will be if she goes to public school. Are you "giving it a try" with the option of her coming home again? If she starts high school ,she completes the grade there? or she NEVER returns to homeschooling?

    We did this wih my oldest and went with option one "let's give it a try and see what happens". He wanted to go to a specifi school with a robotics and engineering program. It was a joke. I was ready to take him home after the 2nd day...He made it to day 4 before asking to return to our homeschool charter program. I told him, if we went back to the Charter school,  there would be NO GOING BACK to public school...EVER. The School we are zoned for is HORRIBLE and I pulled a lot of strings to get him into the program he wanted in the first place so he coldn't go back to that school once he quit. 

    Luckily for us, he is doing very well where we are now and he knows he wants to continue on this path.


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