Homeschooling Moms

paganbaby
DD Still wants to go to high school but I have a plan. Am I being too hard? Update
November 14, 2013 at 11:37 AM

I had a long talk with dd. She admitted that the public school draw was more social than anything else but it's more important for her to be learning. So she's decided to stay homeschooled.

Another change I'm making, is how we do school work. For the next month or so, I'm going to try real world learning. Instead of traditional algebra, dd is going to be figuring out her monthly payments for a 10,000 dollar Mustang convertible with a 7.5 interest rate. Or I'll have her deposit a check  in her account with a negative balance, then see how many bills she can pay and have money left for groceries. I'm also planning on having her do a lot more cooking and baking, something she enjoys but I just haven't found time to do. I'm trying to encourage her to read more by paying her 1.5 cents per page,lol. Writing she's always been good at and for science and history I'd like to watch more documentaries with her so she can find topics that interest her. She's pretty excited about this change. Wish me luck!

After coming back from her aunt's, dd is more insistent than ever about wanting to go to a "real" high school. (Sil and her bf spun tales of all the social experiences she'll be missing out on) I'm completely against it. She's already so behind as it is and there's no way she could keep pace in a high school setting.

Then I had a plan. My teaching style is very relaxed and laid back. The kids learn what they're interested in at their own pace. But, if she truly wants to go back to public school, that would have to change. I would look up common core and start teaching her to those standards. She would have to work very hard to catch up and by the end of summer, I would test her. If she is at or above where she needs to be, I'll send her to high school. If not, she'll have to stay home for another year.

She told me I was being unfair, and I'm just trying to make it hard on purpose. 

Do you think I'm being unfair?
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 17% - Yes, I think you are.
  2. 76% - No, not at all.
  3. 5% - Eh, I'll explain in the replies.

Replies

  • bluerooffarm
    November 22, 2013 at 5:07 PM

    This particular girl just came home to school recently.  They really haven't even met their stride yet and she's being influenced by outside forces that are not homeschooling advocates.  Just rounding out what's going on in this family, cuz I think the momma is being VERY attuned to her daughter's needs.

    Quoting JATomlinson:

    Let her figure it out for herself.  I think a lot of kids who end up in high school after being home schooled don't like it and want to be home schooled again.  Also, you could try to get her more involved in social activities during home school.  Get her into youth group, clubs, sports, etc.

    You can also tell her, 'yes go to high school, but as soon as your grades drop below what they are here at home, the high school experience will be over... going to high school is not an excuse to slack off just becuase you'll be spending more time with friends and less actual time learning.'  You can also tell her, 'At public school you sit in a classroom all day, it's not like you have a ton of time to talk with friends except at lunch and between classes.  At home you can get all your school work done in a few hours in the morning and have the rest of the day to be social or do other things.'

    Either way, she's going to resent you if you force her to do one thing or the other.  Letting her make this choice shows you are trusting her enough as a teen to have some leeway and make her own mistakes.  High school is the time when they are trying to become independent and separate from mom and dad as people.


  • JATomlinson
    November 22, 2013 at 5:36 PM

    I know she's being influenced by outside non-homeschool forces, but I'm telling the truth when I say she's going to resent her mom if she forces her to do something at this age.  She went to her aunts house, and her aunt probably told her, "It's your choice you're a big girl, your mom is being unreasonable, it's not fair, your mom's not being fair to you..."  Ok, so she goes home and mom does what's best for her, but to the teenage girl, mom is just proving her aunt's point about being unfair and not giving her a chance or a choice.  Teens aren't always the most rational people, but often given the chance to make their own mistakes it allows them to mature.

    Also, just because we as home schoolers think home schooling is best doesn't necessarily mean it's always the best thing for each and every child either, that makes us just as bad and high and mighty as those who are public school only opponents who try to tell us that home schooling is wrong, right?  I wasn't telling her for sure to let her go back, I was only giving suggestions.  And I don't think it's unreasonable to tell her she can go back but that if her grades slip (Which they would know within one or two months if they were) she would be coming straight home to home school, right?  That's giving the kid a chance to figure things out and either make it or break it for themself and then if they get hauled back for home school becuase of slipping grades, they can't say it's mom's fault or that mom is being unfair or unreasonable, she would have no one to blame but herself for failing grades.  And what if she went back to school and did really well?  Then job well done by mom either way for trying things out and testing to see what's best for her daughter.

    You act like she will absolutely fail if she goes back to public school and that you absolutely know best when mom seems unsure which is why she posted.  Mom was trying to get opinions on the matter, and I gave mine.


    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    This particular girl just came home to school recently.  They really haven't even met their stride yet and she's being influenced by outside forces that are not homeschooling advocates.  Just rounding out what's going on in this family, cuz I think the momma is being VERY attuned to her daughter's needs.

    Quoting JATomlinson:

    Let her figure it out for herself.  I think a lot of kids who end up in high school after being home schooled don't like it and want to be home schooled again.  Also, you could try to get her more involved in social activities during home school.  Get her into youth group, clubs, sports, etc.

    You can also tell her, 'yes go to high school, but as soon as your grades drop below what they are here at home, the high school experience will be over... going to high school is not an excuse to slack off just becuase you'll be spending more time with friends and less actual time learning.'  You can also tell her, 'At public school you sit in a classroom all day, it's not like you have a ton of time to talk with friends except at lunch and between classes.  At home you can get all your school work done in a few hours in the morning and have the rest of the day to be social or do other things.'

    Either way, she's going to resent you if you force her to do one thing or the other.  Letting her make this choice shows you are trusting her enough as a teen to have some leeway and make her own mistakes.  High school is the time when they are trying to become independent and separate from mom and dad as people.




  • bluerooffarm
    November 22, 2013 at 6:21 PM

    I don't know where you are, but around here you are not allowed to take your child out of a ps for a month or 2 and then put them right back in.  So this child (most likely) does not have the option of going back right now.

    You are going to find that some of us believe that the kids should have the opportunity to make educational choices for themselves and others believe it is the parent's choice.  You will also find that we mostly give our opinions and then are supportive of one another no matter what decisions the other makes.

    You made a lot of assumptions about me here, when I was just letting you know about some things that are going on around this situation.  Pagan has had a number of posts about his and I wasn't sure if you had all of the information.  But assume away.  I will not be responding again here, I gave you extra information in case you didn't have it.  That was all.  The rest (my feelings about this situation) are all assumptions on your part.  I did not say one way or another, simply that Pagan is attuned to what her daughter needs.  Reassuring her, not you.


    Quoting JATomlinson:

    I know she's being influenced by outside non-homeschool forces, but I'm telling the truth when I say she's going to resent her mom if she forces her to do something at this age.  She went to her aunts house, and her aunt probably told her, "It's your choice you're a big girl, your mom is being unreasonable, it's not fair, your mom's not being fair to you..."  Ok, so she goes home and mom does what's best for her, but to the teenage girl, mom is just proving her aunt's point about being unfair and not giving her a chance or a choice.  Teens aren't always the most rational people, but often given the chance to make their own mistakes it allows them to mature.

    Also, just because we as home schoolers think home schooling is best doesn't necessarily mean it's always the best thing for each and every child either, that makes us just as bad and high and mighty as those who are public school only opponents who try to tell us that home schooling is wrong, right?  I wasn't telling her for sure to let her go back, I was only giving suggestions.  And I don't think it's unreasonable to tell her she can go back but that if her grades slip (Which they would know within one or two months if they were) she would be coming straight home to home school, right?  That's giving the kid a chance to figure things out and either make it or break it for themself and then if they get hauled back for home school becuase of slipping grades, they can't say it's mom's fault or that mom is being unfair or unreasonable, she would have no one to blame but herself for failing grades.  And what if she went back to school and did really well?  Then job well done by mom either way for trying things out and testing to see what's best for her daughter.

    You act like she will absolutely fail if she goes back to public school and that you absolutely know best when mom seems unsure which is why she posted.  Mom was trying to get opinions on the matter, and I gave mine.


    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    This particular girl just came home to school recently.  They really haven't even met their stride yet and she's being influenced by outside forces that are not homeschooling advocates.  Just rounding out what's going on in this family, cuz I think the momma is being VERY attuned to her daughter's needs.

    Quoting JATomlinson:

    Let her figure it out for herself.  I think a lot of kids who end up in high school after being home schooled don't like it and want to be home schooled again.  Also, you could try to get her more involved in social activities during home school.  Get her into youth group, clubs, sports, etc.

    You can also tell her, 'yes go to high school, but as soon as your grades drop below what they are here at home, the high school experience will be over... going to high school is not an excuse to slack off just becuase you'll be spending more time with friends and less actual time learning.'  You can also tell her, 'At public school you sit in a classroom all day, it's not like you have a ton of time to talk with friends except at lunch and between classes.  At home you can get all your school work done in a few hours in the morning and have the rest of the day to be social or do other things.'

    Either way, she's going to resent you if you force her to do one thing or the other.  Letting her make this choice shows you are trusting her enough as a teen to have some leeway and make her own mistakes.  High school is the time when they are trying to become independent and separate from mom and dad as people.





  • paganbaby
    November 22, 2013 at 6:34 PM

    And that you did. Thank you ♥

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    I don't know where you are, but around here you are not allowed to take your child out of a ps for a month or 2 and then put them right back in.  So this child (most likely) does not have the option of going back right now.

    You are going to find that some of us believe that the kids should have the opportunity to make educational choices for themselves and others believe it is the parent's choice.  You will also find that we mostly give our opinions and then are suppozcrZCVtive of one another no matter what decisions the other makes.

    You made a lot of assumptions about me here, when I was just letting you know about some things that are going on around this situation.  Pagan has had a number of posts about his and I wasn't sure if you had all of the information.  But assume away.  I will not be responding again here, I gave you extra information in case you didn't have it.  That was all.  The rest (my feelings about this situation) are all assumptions on your part.  I did not say one way or another, simply that Pagan is attuned to what her daughter needs.  Reassuring her, not you.


    Quoting JATomlinson:

    I know she's being influenced by outside non-homeschool forces, but I'm telling the truth when I say she's going to resent her mom if she forces her to do something at this age.  She went to her aunts house, and her aunt probably told her, "It's your choice you're a big girl, your mom is being unreasonable, it's not fair, your mom's not being fair to you..."  Ok, so she goes home and mom does what's best for her, but to the teenage girl, mom is just proving her aunt's point about being unfair and not giving her a chance or a choice.  Teens aren't always the most rational people, but often given the chance to make their own mistakes it allows them to mature.

    Also, just because we as home schoolers think home schooling is best doesn't necessarily mean it's always the best thing for each and every child either, that makes us just as bad and high and mighty as those who are public school only opponents who try to tell us that home schooling is wrong, right?  I wasn't telling her for sure to let her go back, I was only giving suggestions.  And I don't think it's unreasonable to tell her she can go back but that if her grades slip (Which they would know within one or two months if they were) she would be coming straight home to home school, right?  That's giving the kid a chance to figure things out and either make it or break it for themself and then if they get hauled back for home school becuase of slipping grades, they can't say it's mom's fault or that mom is being unfair or unreasonable, she would have no one to blame but herself for failing grades.  And what if she went back to school and did really well?  Then job well done by mom either way for trying things out and testing to see what's best for her daughter.

    You act like she will absolutely fail if she goes back to public school and that you absolutely know best when mom seems unsure which is why she posted.  Mom was trying to get opinions on the matter, and I gave mine.


    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    This particular girl just came home to school recently.  They really haven't even met their stride yet and she's being influenced by outside forces that are not homeschooling advocates.  Just rounding out what's going on in this family, cuz I think the momma is being VERY attuned to her daughter's needs.

    Quoting JATomlinson:

    Let her figure it out for herself.  I think a lot of kids who end up in high school after being home schooled don't like it and want to be home schooled again.  Also, you could try to get her more involved in social activities during home school.  Get her into youth group, clubs, sports, etc.

    You can also tell her, 'yes go to high school, but as soon as your grades drop below what they are here at home, the high school experience will be over... going to high school is not an excuse to slack off just becuase you'll be spending more time with friends and less actual time learning.'  You can also tell her, 'At public school you sit in a classroom all day, it's not like you have a ton of time to talk with friends except at lunch and between classes.  At home you can get all your school work done in a few hours in the morning and have the rest of the day to be social or do other things.'

    Either way, she's going to resent you if you force her to do one thing or the other.  Letting her make this choice shows you are trusting her enough as a teen to have some leeway and make her own mistakes.  High school is the time when they are trying to become independent and separate from mom and dad as people.






  • bluerooffarm
    November 22, 2013 at 6:37 PM

    You're very welcome, Pagan!

    Quoting paganbaby:

    And that you did. Thank you ♥

    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    I don't know where you are, but around here you are not allowed to take your child out of a ps for a month or 2 and then put them right back in.  So this child (most likely) does not have the option of going back right now.

    You are going to find that some of us believe that the kids should have the opportunity to make educational choices for themselves and others believe it is the parent's choice.  You will also find that we mostly give our opinions and then are suppozcrZCVtive of one another no matter what decisions the other makes.

    You made a lot of assumptions about me here, when I was just letting you know about some things that are going on around this situation.  Pagan has had a number of posts about his and I wasn't sure if you had all of the information.  But assume away.  I will not be responding again here, I gave you extra information in case you didn't have it.  That was all.  The rest (my feelings about this situation) are all assumptions on your part.  I did not say one way or another, simply that Pagan is attuned to what her daughter needs.  Reassuring her, not you.


    Quoting JATomlinson:

    I know she's being influenced by outside non-homeschool forces, but I'm telling the truth when I say she's going to resent her mom if she forces her to do something at this age.  She went to her aunts house, and her aunt probably told her, "It's your choice you're a big girl, your mom is being unreasonable, it's not fair, your mom's not being fair to you..."  Ok, so she goes home and mom does what's best for her, but to the teenage girl, mom is just proving her aunt's point about being unfair and not giving her a chance or a choice.  Teens aren't always the most rational people, but often given the chance to make their own mistakes it allows them to mature.

    Also, just because we as home schoolers think home schooling is best doesn't necessarily mean it's always the best thing for each and every child either, that makes us just as bad and high and mighty as those who are public school only opponents who try to tell us that home schooling is wrong, right?  I wasn't telling her for sure to let her go back, I was only giving suggestions.  And I don't think it's unreasonable to tell her she can go back but that if her grades slip (Which they would know within one or two months if they were) she would be coming straight home to home school, right?  That's giving the kid a chance to figure things out and either make it or break it for themself and then if they get hauled back for home school becuase of slipping grades, they can't say it's mom's fault or that mom is being unfair or unreasonable, she would have no one to blame but herself for failing grades.  And what if she went back to school and did really well?  Then job well done by mom either way for trying things out and testing to see what's best for her daughter.

    You act like she will absolutely fail if she goes back to public school and that you absolutely know best when mom seems unsure which is why she posted.  Mom was trying to get opinions on the matter, and I gave mine.


    Quoting bluerooffarm:

    This particular girl just came home to school recently.  They really haven't even met their stride yet and she's being influenced by outside forces that are not homeschooling advocates.  Just rounding out what's going on in this family, cuz I think the momma is being VERY attuned to her daughter's needs.

    Quoting JATomlinson:

    Let her figure it out for herself.  I think a lot of kids who end up in high school after being home schooled don't like it and want to be home schooled again.  Also, you could try to get her more involved in social activities during home school.  Get her into youth group, clubs, sports, etc.

    You can also tell her, 'yes go to high school, but as soon as your grades drop below what they are here at home, the high school experience will be over... going to high school is not an excuse to slack off just becuase you'll be spending more time with friends and less actual time learning.'  You can also tell her, 'At public school you sit in a classroom all day, it's not like you have a ton of time to talk with friends except at lunch and between classes.  At home you can get all your school work done in a few hours in the morning and have the rest of the day to be social or do other things.'

    Either way, she's going to resent you if you force her to do one thing or the other.  Letting her make this choice shows you are trusting her enough as a teen to have some leeway and make her own mistakes.  High school is the time when they are trying to become independent and separate from mom and dad as people.







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