Homeschooling Moms

Featured Posts
mem82
So what does discipline look like in your house?
by mem82
November 3, 2013 at 8:33 PM

Obviously, we all have different ideas on what discipline is and also, we all have DIFFERENT kids. Different things, work on different kids. My oldest, I've rarely had to punish ever simply because shaking my head and stating that I am disappointed in her choices is enough to put her back on the straight and narrow 99% of the time. My boys, they could careless how disappointed I am if it's a good time. LOL They need more hardcore punishments including corner standing and electronics removal. I've done other things more connected to the crime when needed.

What do you do when it comes to discipline?

Also, let's not turn this into a spanking debate. Let's focus on the other ways we discipline a child or teen, please.

Replies

  • AutymsMommy
    November 3, 2013 at 8:56 PM

    We do not spank or use corporal punishment.

    We do not corner stand.

    For my 4 year old, we use "sit in the hall". He hates sitting still :) A well lit hallway, because we have no desire to scare him, for a couple minutes.

    For my 12 year old, we try for logical, more natural consequences (didn't take out the recycling because you were busy with the ipad, take away the ipad, for example). When that isn't a possibility, we try for creative.

    Our 16 month old isn't really "disciplined", per se, at this age; not if we're using discipline as synonymous with punishment. He is still in the distract/redirect phase of child-rearing, lol.


    ETA: I say we do not use corporal punishment, but I have (while asleep) smacked a sneaking little 16 month old's hands away from my hair. I always feel badly about it, but it's just reaction - something is yanking hair out of my head when I'm dead asleep, my first instinct is to smack it away. So while I feel badly about smacking his hands away, I'll have a story to embarrass him with later - how he made me go against the very core of my feelings on discipline, all while I'm asleep :P I don't realize I've done it until a very indignant 4 year old yells "hey - don't smack the baby! He's your WITTLE BABY!". Lol.

  • mem82
    by mem82
    November 3, 2013 at 8:58 PM
    Personally, I think the redirect stage is more tiring than the later stages. Lol

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    We do not spank or use corporal punishment.

    We do not corner stand.

    For my 4 year old, we use "sit in the hall". He hates sitting still :) A well lit hallway, because we have no desire to scare him, for a couple minutes.

    For my 12 year old, we try for logical, more natural consequences (didn't take out the recycling because you were busy with the ipad, take away the ipad, for example). When that isn't a possibility, we try for creative.

    Our 16 month old isn't really "disciplined", per se, at this age; not if we're using discipline as synonymous with punishment. He is still in the distract/redirect phase of child-rearing, lol.

  • AutymsMommy
    November 3, 2013 at 9:00 PM

    Especially when you have a little monster who CAN'T be redirected. I swear, he's like the monster-that-could... he just keeps trying, and trying, and trying, and trying. He's learned how to climb the furniture in the 30 seconds it takes me to pee.


    Quoting mem82:

    Personally, I think the redirect stage is more tiring than the later stages. Lol

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    We do not spank or use corporal punishment.

    We do not corner stand.

    For my 4 year old, we use "sit in the hall". He hates sitting still :) A well lit hallway, because we have no desire to scare him, for a couple minutes.

    For my 12 year old, we try for logical, more natural consequences (didn't take out the recycling because you were busy with the ipad, take away the ipad, for example). When that isn't a possibility, we try for creative.

    Our 16 month old isn't really "disciplined", per se, at this age; not if we're using discipline as synonymous with punishment. He is still in the distract/redirect phase of child-rearing, lol.



  • mem82
    by mem82
    November 3, 2013 at 9:03 PM
    Lol I was thinking something similar to this when I typed this out. I wish they made toddler proof pack and plays just so I could pee in peace. That's all I want.

    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    Especially when you have a little monster who CAN'T be redirected. I swear, he's like the monster-that-could... he just keeps trying, and trying, and trying, and trying. He's learned how to climb the furniture in the 30 seconds it takes me to pee.



    Quoting mem82:

    Personally, I think the redirect stage is more tiring than the later stages. Lol



    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    We do not spank or use corporal punishment.

    We do not corner stand.

    For my 4 year old, we use "sit in the hall". He hates sitting still :) A well lit hallway, because we have no desire to scare him, for a couple minutes.

    For my 12 year old, we try for logical, more natural consequences (didn't take out the recycling because you were busy with the ipad, take away the ipad, for example). When that isn't a possibility, we try for creative.

    Our 16 month old isn't really "disciplined", per se, at this age; not if we're using discipline as synonymous with punishment. He is still in the distract/redirect phase of child-rearing, lol.




  • kmath
    by kmath
    November 3, 2013 at 9:18 PM

    I try to do mostly, the punishment fits the crime.  9 times out of 10 that is taking away electronics because he was playing around on his xbox or DS instead of doing what he was supposed to do.  There are times when I send him to his room, but that is mostly so we can both calm down and discuss whatever just happened rationally (or as rationally as you can get with an 8 year old).  Every once in a while I have him do sentences.  They aren't copy sentences though.  He has to come up with them.  Usually it is things like "Why I need to listen to my teacher." (That one was last year when he was in PS).  He came up with things like "So if there is a fire I know what to do" and "So I know what page we are on in our book."  I don't like using sentences because he already can't stand writing, but sometimes it is the best method for him.

  • coala
    by coala
    November 3, 2013 at 10:27 PM

    We are at a phase in our life that our kids don't have much access to electronics and they really don't have much time to play outside....becasue I have 2 sex offenders that live 2 houses down from me in either direction.  My only recourse is to stand them in a corner, or make them sit in the middle of the living room floor not touch anything.  We have also use some types of discipline that my SO was given in military school.  I can tell you that my oldest would rather do the invisible chair than have her movie afternoon taken away (she begged for it on Friday night when I took her movie away because they don't get that often).  We have also had them hold little board books for punishment as well.  For some reason these punishments work better than just about anything else we have tried.  Both of my kids are stubborn and it is hard to get through to them.  My youngest has just lost any potential tv or movies over the next 2 weeks....because I sent my kids in for a nap today (yes, at their age and with this weekends activities overloading them) they really needed it, she decided that she was going to hang on to the curtian and swing.  Daddy had to go in and drill new holes to rehang the curtain rod....he was very angry and now so is she.  I will ask her to tell me why she can't watch tv when she complains that she wants to.

  • TidewaterClan
    November 3, 2013 at 11:02 PM
    I stole Kickbuttmama's earning dollars idea. My girls receive 10 'wii bucks' each school day for paying attention & not grumping. They earn more for helping with chores. That has saved a huge amount of nagging on my part. :)

    If electronics get in the way of school or something I've asked them to do I take that away until they've finished.

    They usually only act up if they're tired. If that's the case I make sure they (and usually me too) go to bed by 9:00. Sleep works wonders for all of us.
  • debramommyof4
    November 3, 2013 at 11:14 PM

     We do a mixture of time outs, points (reward system), extra physical education (mostly planks) and spankings.

    My 7 and 6 year olds get a warning, then a time out then extra physical education.  If they do something danerous they get a spanking.  They loose points if they do something they would normally have to pay for with their points (eat candy, or watch tv without permission).

    My 4 and 3 year olds get a warning, then time out.  If they refuse their time out or do the same offense again they recieve 2 swats to their bottom with my hand.  They also loose points when they eat candy or watch tv without permission.

    We have a cool reward system and a regular schedule.  Most of the time they never get to the spanking.  We do pretty well with the other punishments.  The older girls almost never get to the spanking and have learned to avoid the extra physical education.  They are strong willed but pretty well behaved children. 

    My only two that worries me are my 6 year old who has always felt the need to sneak things and lie.  But we are working on it and will continue.  And my 3 year old who thinks she can get away with anything, she is learning that is not the case.

  • hwblyf
    by hwblyf
    November 4, 2013 at 6:45 AM

    I read something once that really stuck with me.  Those positive reward systems that schools use (ours had them earning dollars to go to the school store) favors those who behave already.  So the docile child into whose mind it would never enter to hang from the curtain and swing, is far more likely to receive the praise and dollars than the child who is struggling to keep his mind off hanging from the curtains and swing.  Does that make sense?  I have one of those, possibly more than one, who really has to struggle and work hard to fit the mold of what is good.  So we do notice a lot of bad behavior and use rooms as a sanctuary/time out.  I notice the good ("wow, good manners there, thank you." or generosity, or whatever it is), but I don't reward as it honestly would further the gap between who's good and who's not.  Or, rather, who's struggling with a more forceful personality and who is skirting these issues by having a mild temperment.  Anyway, it's time outs, Wii removal, computer privileges revoked, and upon occasion a nice little letter written to me (completely optional, it can only help them to write it).

  • No_Difference
    November 4, 2013 at 7:12 AM

     With my 4 year old... He gets a warning first, if the behavior continues we usually put him time out, and then if it still continues he gets a pop on the bottom. It very rarely gets that far these days thankfully.
    I think it was the beginning of the year I saw him eyeing up the fridge and I KNEW he was going to try climbing it to jump off. I told him that if he even dared, he was going to go in time out, and if he broke anything, I wasn't taking him  to the hospital and he'd get spanked for every broken bone. He looked at me, the fridge, the couch cushions, grabbed the cushions, put them on the floor, climbed the fridge, and jumped off. Immediately he ran into time out and set the timer and says in the sweetest voice ever, "I didn't break anything so I don't get a spank right?"
    Depending on what he is getting into trouble for too, we've been starting to add in jumping jacks, sit ups, and running in place. Usually this gets dished out if he's doing something naughty that is really high energy and we're trying to find a productive solution to getting the "crazy out."

    For my 9 year old... I have yet to find the one motivator. I usually don't have to worry so much about her though. If she gets in trouble, its usually beause she didn't do the dishes (her chore) or she was back talking. Between the two, she has only played on her Kindle she got for Christmas last year maybe 20 times... She could care less. Even if we stripped her room to just a bed for a week, she still would not care. She tried lying one time while my parnets were visiting to get out of work and she was caught in the lie. She tried lying again to get out of her first lie, and was caught again. We ended up washing her mouth out with soap, since it was obviously dirty, and she had to write an appology letter to Granny and Papa, and she had to do something else that Hubby had her do. This was a while ago so I really don't remmember...I just know she hasn't flat out lied to us again since then. If anything she has been too honest.

Homeschooling Moms

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN