Homeschooling Moms

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Britty1987
My only is lonely :(
October 5, 2013 at 11:31 PM
My 2nd grade boy is lonely. This is our 1st year homeschooling. So far we've done 9ish weeks of school. (We started early to take off time when baby girl gets here... due November 5th so not much longer!)
I think it will be great for us to spend time together when baby girl gets here. He will really need the extra time with me since he has been an only for 7 1/2 years.
I guess I didn't realize how lonely he is until today. He is desperate to spend time with other kids.
We go to church, and he is in the childrens choir there. They meet every Wednesday afternoon.
He dual enrolls in P.E. at the local elementary school which is twice a week. That allows him to go on all the 2nd grade field trips, participate in sports camps, etc.
We joined a local homeschool group that meets once a month.
He has always been kind of a loner... he'll play with anyone, but I find him alone quite a bit as well.
Today we went to a friend from church's house so he could play a while. There was also another boy there, and a little girl as well. I found him playing by himself 50 percent of the time we were there.
He was so desperate to play with someone today, but once he had the chance, he didn't fully utilize it. I feel really bad that he has been lonely. He kept telling me, but it never really sank in. And now I *kinda* feel guilty for pulling him out of public school. At the same time, I feel it is the best thing for us. It breaks my heart to see him so lonely... and I wish I could fix it.
Our area is a wasteland for homeschoolers, and the only ones his age are girls. We live in the country, so we don't have many neighbors. The house nearby with kids his age is off limits (the dad is on the sex offender list).
We can't do a whole lot if activities... so I kinda feel stuck. What can I do to help him? I don't want him to be lonely, but right now I don't know what else to do... we've only lived here a year, so I still don't know a lot of people, and our family lives 11 hours away. I guess I just need some encouragement and prayers...sorry this is so long!

Replies

  • LavenderMom23
    October 5, 2013 at 11:40 PM
    Any time you move it takes time to get adjusted. Continue public exposure with the same groups of kids. Make an effort to get parent numbers to set up play dates. Consider boy scouts, they have friend building rules and bonding. Or St. George scouts if you're more conservative Christians.
  • mom2Bellarose
    October 5, 2013 at 11:59 PM
    It sounds like you are getting him involved every way you possibly can with other kids. I feel your pain. My 7 1/2 yr old seems lonely also. She does have a baby sister but that doesn't count (to her). I thought things would improve once we started co op, they did somewhat, but her classes are mainly boys. We are in a similar situation as you are with our neighborhood not having any kids in it. Sometimes, I wonder if she were in PS if she would have more of opportunity making friends, but I know from experience this isn't always true. I think it's sometimes hard for us all to find good friends that we connect with. I'm hoping in both of our cases that this is true and they just need a little more time to make those connections. I don't know, guess I'm rambling here lol. Don't feel like you guys are the only ones, were struggling also :/
  • KrissyKC
    October 6, 2013 at 12:49 AM

    It will build up... the whole visiting friends and having a social life outside of just you and at home.   Remember that even public schooled kids go through this phase.   

    For example, my 5 yr old struggles with her older siblings going to play at a neighbor's house when she is too little yet.   My kids have all spent their time when they were ALMOST old enough to start doing more things, and they all hit that time of feeling lonely.

    You are doing what you can for now.   Another idea would be pen pals??



  • kmath
    by kmath
    October 6, 2013 at 2:03 AM

    Sounds like he has a ton of time with other kids and doesn't even utilize most of it, so I am not really sure what you are feeling guilty for. 

  • mem82
    by mem82
    October 6, 2013 at 2:18 PM
    *hugs*
  • kirbymom
    October 6, 2013 at 6:28 PM
    Could it br that he thinks he is really lonely and then when he gets ari
    ound other kids he reakuzes he isn't as lonely? Not saying that this is the case but could be a possibility. Could it be that his confidence level is a bit shaken and he doenst't know how to think of a solution to fix it for himself just yet?
  • Britty1987
    October 7, 2013 at 8:31 AM
    I kinda rambled on too... it breaks my heart to see him lonely and know I can't do much about it. I'm glad I'm not the only one.. I think part of it is shyness on his part (I grew up very shy and still can be at times). I hope both our kids can find those connections soon :)


    Quoting mom2Bellarose:

    It sounds like you are getting him involved every way you possibly can with other kids. I feel your pain. My 7 1/2 yr old seems lonely also. She does have a baby sister but that doesn't count (to her). I thought things would improve once we started co op, they did somewhat, but her classes are mainly boys. We are in a similar situation as you are with our neighborhood not having any kids in it. Sometimes, I wonder if she were in PS if she would have more of opportunity making friends, but I know from experience this isn't always true. I think it's sometimes hard for us all to find good friends that we connect with. I'm hoping in both of our cases that this is true and they just need a little more time to make those connections. I don't know, guess I'm rambling here lol. Don't feel like you guys are the only ones, were struggling also :/

  • bluerooffarm
    October 7, 2013 at 8:40 AM

     It doesn't really sound like he is lonely.  I am an introvert and sometimes I feel lonely, then I get around people and would just rather do something by myself. 

    Are there any playgrounds in the area?  Any AYSO (soccer) or other ball leagues? 

  • momto3B
    by momto3B
    October 7, 2013 at 8:42 AM

    Any way you can move to a less rural place with good schools or a less rural place with more homeschoolers?

  • Boobah
    by Boobah
    October 7, 2013 at 10:13 AM
    Sounds like he is in several activities, will soon have a sibling, and will adjust to the new place soon. It will be okay, mama :)

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